I have never posted on this board but I need to vent

ok...i had ppd 3 weeks after dd was born....i was put on paxil...i stayed on it for about 4 to 5 months....i felt much better.  I was ok getting off it but then when she turned a year and a half I went back on.  I felt great again. I felt like me.   Then I got off again...but here I am back on it again since february.  Set aside ppd my family has been going through a lot of changes...dh new jobs...moved twice two different states...i ran out of pills over a week ago...and i feel like i could just cry all day. everytime dd acts up or doesnt listen or just out of control i am just not handeling it well...every little thing bothers me..  i just dont understand why i cant seem to get off these pills and just feel like me. before i got pregnant...i never felt like this...it took alot for me to get this upset or sad or let things bother me....i feel like i will always be on paxil to feel normal...thanks for listening ladies...