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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
More about finances... how much do you know?
DH has an undergrad in financial planning and accounting with a graduate degree in business admin. He enjoys working with $. On the otherhand my undergrad degrees have nothing to do with $ and I was happy to hand over the finances to DH as long as I thought he was being fair with the money. And as far as things go I think he has been fair throughout our marriage. He's offered to let me be more involved in our finances but as long as i know bills are being paid and we're not spending more than we're making I'm happy to let him do the dirty work.
But since we had the wedding, and then DD we haven't gotten the credit cards down to a Zero balance, something I used to make a priority when I was single. He and I sat down and looked at finances and split whatever was left when all bills are paid each pay period. We have certain things that I pay for each month and what he pays for. But like I said, for a long time the credit cards have been at an uncomfortably high balance for me, and we dont' have the $ to pay it down. While we have more outgoing expenses than when we got married (more student loans, mortgage, DD) I still always wonder if our debt would be better controlled if I had decided to handle the household bank instead of him. While I think we are making the best financial decisions that we can, I still can't help but have that little "what-if" in theback of my mind. Yet I know that I am happy to not have to write out all of the bills each month. So maybe I have traded in that control of handling the finances with the worry-free-ness of not having to write/remember bills.
What's your situation like?
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Re: More about finances... how much do you know?
I have a degree in accounting, so I enjoy taking care of the bills. While we know how much each of us make, we don't mix money. My husband is THE WORST when it comes to money. My name is on his account, so I take the money out of his checking account the day he gets paid to ensure he doesn't spend it.
He is really in the dark about how bills are paid, etc, but if he ever wants to see, I'll show him. I've even managed to put some money in savings for him, HOWEVER, he has dipped into that as well. Our savings is in an account with my name only, he can see it anytime he wants. LO's savings is at a different financial institution.
DH and I really thought we had things under control. We really were living beyond our means and I had Zero involvement in our finances. He just gave me a CC and told me if I needed something to get it. Well apparently I "needed" a lot. I am a SAHM and was spending almost $1000/month on my CC on what amounts to nothing important. It was stupid.
About a year ago we started listening to Dave Ramsey. He's a financial guy who focuses on living within your means and being what he calls "weird" or living debt free. We've paid off our credit cards, my student loans, and we rolled my car payment into the house. The only payments we have now are the house and 2nd mortgage payment. We do a budget together 2x/month and really try and plan out everything. We don't argue anymore about what I've spent, and I don't get those disappointed looks when the CC bill comes in. I feel really good about the future and don't freak out if something unexpected comes a long.
This. At one point I gave DH like two bills to be responsible for, he set them both up on auto pay and never looked back. So, yeah I take care of everything and I do most of our budgeting on Mint.com. Every few months we reevaluate and decide places we should cut back etc. We discuss any purchase over about $100 for the most part just to be sure we are on the same page about how our money is spent.
This is us exactly!
I'm a SAHM so the only income we have is DH's. However, I'm the CPA and ridiculously anal retentive about record keeping so I do all the bill pay and budgeting. DH is in investment banking so he handles all our long term investments - 401Ks, mutual funds, 529 plans, etc.
We sit down together at the beginning of the year and do a budget for the year - this includes estimating monthly expenses like groceries, lawn care, babysitting, etc and larger items like vacations, home improvement projects, large charitable donations etc. About every 2 months, I go through and see how our actual spending compares to what I anticipated and review it with DH (last year, in total, I was within $1,300 of total year expenses as compared to what I estimated in January - I told you I was crazy anal). We make any adjustments if we need to. DH has a general understanding of how much we pay for everything, how much is in our checking and savings accounts, what I've spent on extras like clothes or toys for the kids, but I take the lead in managing the daily spending.
Before we make any investment changes or move any large sums of money to longer term investments, DH discusses it with me, but as he's the expert in that area, I pretty much rely on him to make the decisions. I do track the value of these accounts monthly so I completely understand what activity and balances they each have.
I would say we each have our area of expertise that we handle, but we are both fully aware of our complete financial picture.
Either of us are completely capable of handling the finances, but it makes most sense for me to do it and I enjoy it. But it's seriously easy and fast. Most of our bills are auto bill-pay and those that aren't are still easily done via our bank's manual bill pay feature. I almost never have to write checks/send in payments for anything. I keep track of when bills are due on my GoogleCalendar. Very simple.
IMO, if you've got credit card debt that you want to get rid of, then there shouldnt be anything "left over" at the end of the month to split.
How much would it cost to hire your husband and you to come and teach my DH and me...???
To the OP... my husband was in charge of all our finances, but I am a major control freak and was always questioning, changing, managing, etc. whatever he did with the finances. He wasn't bad with them and everything got paid on time, but I just couldn't give up control, so we decided, for the sake of our marriage, that I would be in charge of finances. Things are better now, but there are times where I wish I could go back to DH running the finances. Especially, when things are tight and a bit stressful.
It's too late now, but that's a really bad idea. The "average" car loan is for 3 years. If you roll it into your mortgage, suddenly you're paying for that car for 15-30 years!
DH handles the finances, but we don't have a whole lot of work to do. Our mortgage is our only debt (no car payments/credit cards), we don't have cell phone bills like most people, and we have all of our bills set up on auto bill pay. We have my paycheck from my part time job roll automatically into savings since DH's income is enough to cover all our bills. Every few months, we roll some of our savings into our investment accounts. We try to keep $5k in "regular" savings so we can pull the money easily, and the rest goes to investments.
I check the bank account every now and then to make sure we're on track, but that's about it.
I keep track of our weekly budget/spending. DH pays the bills and does most of the record-keeping. I also do any daytime banking (depositing checks, etc.) that needs to be done since I SAH.
I have access to everything, check our joint checking account occasionally, and am the first to get the mail so I open bills whenever I feel like it; I'd know if something wasn't being paid or if money was going to unusual places.
We talk usually a couple of times a week about how things are going, what upcoming expenses we have, where our savings is at, etc., so that we keep each other up on details. We also have a master document on a password-protected flash drive, and a hard copy in our safe, with all of our info for every account -- account numbers, passwords, etc. DH updates that every year or so with any changes, and if anything were to happen where I needed to take over, I know exactly where to go so I can do everything he does with little to no disruption.
I don't mind him taking care of the mechanics of our finances, as long as I know what's going on and have the knowledge to take over if necessary. But I've seen too many female relatives and family friends let their husbands take complete control of that, and for things to go wrong one way or another (abusive situation where husband uses money as control; or husband dies & wife has no clue what their assets are or how to make financial decisions) to ever let that happen to me. So I make it a point to ask questions, stay informed, open mail, and have my own opinions on what and how we're doing.
DD1, 1/5/2008 ~~~ DD2, 3/17/2010
What I meant by my comment of "whatever's left at the end of the month" was what was left after paying the bills that "come in the mail", for lack of a better description. That "leftover" money is how we pay for groceries, or any other routine thing we spend money on that doesn't come specifically from the company we owe (ex. utilities).
Maybe this is dumb, but have you asked your H to sit down with you and go over everything?
And no, you don't have to write checks every month. I haven't written a check in God only knows how long. Everything is taken care of through our bank online. Pretty much everything is done on auto-pay as well. You know how much your utilities are every month, for the most part, right? If the electric, etc., vary talk to their customer service people about getting on a budget plan that way your bill stays the same every month. You can also call other non-necessary utilities like cell phone and cable/satellite companies to see if they'll give you a customer retention break. For example if you're with DirecTV call them and say "hey, I'm thinking about switching to cable because its less expensive" and typically they'll cut your bill by a little bit.
Some things that DH and I have done are switching cell companies because we got a better rate (Virgin mobile has 'pay as you go' type phones and my phone plan is 25/mo and has unlimited everything. And we got to keep our numbers. So, its little stuff like that that will help your bottom line so you can get the other things paid off.
DH and I are doing Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover and we've found it very helpful.
Bottom line, though, is to communicate with your H about the finances so you both have peace of mind.
Yes, I have asked. He's actually even offered when I've voiced slight concern/curiosity. But to be completely (and probably neglegently) honest, I have never taken him up on it. Generally, at the end of the day, when DD is in bed and we'd actually have time to go over it, it is the LAST thing I feel like doing. With so many other things on my plate that I could be doing at that time, I haven't made a priority to do that. It's probably because I have faith in him that he's doing the best he can. I trust him. It's just that little seed of doubt I have.
I mostly blame it on the fact that I had no(or little) debt coming into our relationship. When he came along it threw us out of balance. He had school loans and a car payment. When I "took on" his debt when we married I guess I always felt a little gilted knowing that i had to take on his financial obligations. But I know that is very immature of me. And while he now makes more $ than I do, I know we will someday "even the score". Actually know that I'm writing that I can actually see how childish it is. In reality I am grateful he is willing to take care of the bills so I am not obligated to do it. But to balance that out I think it's probably only natural that I have a little ego, wondering if I could be doing it better. But like I said, I can totally hear how childish I sound
Lol I think I've had an epiphany.
Sorry, I didn't make that clear enough...we rolled it into our home equity line of credit and we're paying off way ahead of schedule. The interest rate is half of what we would be paying if we still had the traditional car loan. We're using all of our extra money each month to pay off the equity line
Going into it, DH and I both knew we both had debt. Neither of us have degrees in finance, but I think we do a decent job at prioritizing. My parents waited until I graduated college to hand over the brunt of my loans, which was an unpleasant surprise for both of us, but DH has handled it really well. We dedicate a portion of each of our paychecks to paying off our debt, the first of which is going is his credit card. It has a lower balance but a much higher interest rate.
I think as long as you're sensible about it, you'll be OK. Maybe your DH can let you handle things for awhile?
H has a degree in finance, is finishing his MBA this semester, and is a financial planner by trade. I'm still involved. We budget together. He usually pays the bills just because he's more anal about it than I am, but we set the budget together and we set future goals together.
We are on the same page about spending (aka zero cc debt ever).
i dont know much about finances. my DH is a CFA and really into it...i know we invest in mostly ETFs and I know the stocks I own - thats about it.
But as far as our personal finances, I know everything. We use mint.com so every week I get an email telling us how much we have spent on groceries, gas, etc., how much our accounts have, the current value of our house, etc. Its really only responsible to know your budget.
We sit down and pay the bills together every month. We are on a pretty fixed budget by design. We have no credit card debt, car payments or mortgage (currently renting). We have one car. I haggle with our cable company every 6 months to get lower rates. We don't put anything on a credit card that we can't pay off in 30 days. We use cash or our debit cards for most purchases. We put money into savings every month - sometimes it is $25, sometimes it is a couple hundred. We also put all unexpected cash into savings, gifts, tax refunds etc. We have an emergency fund that would take us through a year or so if needed.
DH has massive medical school loans which we are currently deferring until he finishes residency. When has finished his training we will continue to live on the amount of money he makes now and aggressively pay off his med school loans - which according to our financial planner we will be able to do in 3 years. When we have accomplished that we will think about buying a home, new cars etc.
Neither of us particularly enjoy dealing with our finances. We collaborate on almost everything in our marriage and money is no different, we talk about it often, we both know how much we have in any account at any given time. In a few years when DH starts making more money, I go back to work, we have additional kids and buy a house etc, I know our finances will get much more complicated - we will consult financial planners again to help us reach our goals.
We have a joint account where the bills are paid from and we use for family expenses. We also have our own accounts so we can buy personal stuff without is affecting the other person's finances. For example, he buys expensive figures and statues and I buy stitching stuff, which both add up. But, both of us have always been good with money, so it was really a non-issue.
The other thing that we are both sticklers on is zero debt, except the mortgage. Every bill gets paid in full every month or we don't buy it. We also tend to liquidate things by selling some our old stuff on Ebay or something. SO we can bring in a little extra money that way and make room in the house at the same time.
You need to take an active role in your finances. How can you be so hands off and yet be responsible for paying bills? It sounds like you don't combine finances so do you just pay the bills he tells you to pay?
If you're going to keep finances separate you both need to be on the same page as far as spending, saving, goals, etc. You don't need to do the actual bill paying but you need to know where your accounts are at: what is coming in, going out and what's left over.
I'm a SAHM and I handle all of the finanaces. DH and I regularly discuss finances, so he is informed, but I keep on top of everything. We live very modestly though. We currently rent a small place. We like it, and its cheap. We plan to buy a home within the next 6 months though. We have minimal credit card debt (less than a thousand dollars) at any given point, and we don't like loans. We save, and we buy cars with cash.
I guess I just *really* hate debt. It makes me all antsy. lol.
I handle the finances. When my husband and I got married, he had over $15k in credit card debt. What did he buy? I have no idea. But now after 3 1/2 years of marriage we have about 6 months to go and we will have that all paid off. Its hard and we are really streaching ever pennie we have at this time. But it's totally worth it knowing we won't have any credit card bills in 6 months. I set up and pay all the bills. No we don't really put anything in the saving account right now, but we will. As soon as those stupid credit cards are paid off.
I handle billing, but I always try to ensure DH is involved with any decisions outside of normal bill payments.
this month we will be 100% out of debt. If we don't have the money, we simply do not buy something. We won't be planning on using the CCs for anything that we know (1) isn't a variable and (2) we won't have the money for. For example, clothing. Clothing is a variable in our home, some months we spend less than other months. Due to this, its charged on a CC with a max. allowance...we have a monthly budget alread set for that. We plan to, when we spend less that month on it, we put that money into savings.
I always make sure DH is informed of PWs and where information is stored, JIC anything happens.
I handle the bills and our checkbook. I balance it every week. Most of our bills come out automatically. DH has access to the bank account so he can go in whenever he wants.
Before we got married, he never balanced his checkbook. He would just look at the balance from time to time. It woudl drive me crazy. So when we got married, I just took over the responsibilities. he was ok with that.
We used to have the agreement that DH would do all the bills, financial planning etc. Then I read the book The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey and decided that I would like to get more involved. DH showed me all the accounts, we made out a spreadsheet and EVERYTHING is in the budget. We don't have any cc debt, but we did have a car loan and over $100K in student loan debt between the two of us. Before we started our budget, we didn't really watch where our money was going each month. Now, if there isn't room in the budget, it doesn't get bought. (We do have an emergency fund for true emergencies- like when our brake lights went out on the car last month). DH no longer has the stress of figuring out where the money was coming from each month and I no longer feel resentment because he is/isn't paying XX off fast enough etc. We have paid off $30K in 8 months! We still have a long way to go, but our goal is to be debt free (except for the mortgage) by the end of 2015!