I have no one to talk to and I just wanna cry
Banana44
member
So, I've posted here before but I'm not a frequent poster.
I'm 37 - DH is 38 and we have been trying for his 3rd, my 2nd since June of 2010. We are trying naturally still.
In October I had a chemical pregnancy - literally here and gone in 2 days.
In Novemebr I was pregnant again - lost it on December 16. Since then everything has been messed up. I bled for nearly 36 days straight which prompted my OB to put me on Progesterone for 14 days. It had been 8 weeks since the progesterone with no period - so I took a HPT prior to calling OB. It was BFP - surprise - almost don't know how it happened.
But - I had 2 betas done. Mon hcg was 261 with low progesterone so they start me on progesterone pills. Wed hcg was 379. The numbers didn't double - not even close. So in my head I know there is a 90% chance this is also a non-viable pregnancy - but I won't know anything until April 8 (my scheduled ultra-sound) because since I am on Progesterone, I won't bleed.
Only DH and 1 sister know about this and they keep telling me to stop googling and not be so depressed - but honeslty, its TTC 101 that hcg should double every 48-72 hours. So, between the progesterone and everything else, I feel like I'm going to cry all the time. I literally have no one to talk to that could understand - so I guess I'm just venting to you ladies - thanks for listening.
Re: I have no one to talk to and I just wanna cry
Crying is OK. I'm not expert on betas since I've never had a positive one but you do hear stories where it is a slow rise and turns out to be viable. Your numbers did go up. There's still hope. Why can't you get another beta on Monday? I'd go crazy waiting until 4/8. Hang in there.
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days
SAIF/PAIF Welcome
http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com
Thanks - I shut my office door and did have a nice little cry. I feel better.
I know getting pregnant is a good sign - and eventually I might find a good egg - but damn, sometimes its just tough.
I might call the office on Monday and see if they can do another hcg test. They didn't seem as concerned - but of course, it isn't their body!
Mrs. McIrish - I hope you are right - I hope that a slow rise can be successful - but I guess I'm afraid to have any hope. Nothing like old eggs to make a girl feel ancient!
Glad you feel like you can vent here-TTC is not for wimps. It sucks that you are worried that this might not be a visable pg. Your numbers did go up-I'd focus on that.....focus on the +-right now you are pregnant!!....and that is awsome and beautiful in itself and something worth celebrating. I would try to get labs drawn on Monday-and try not to worry, as outcome is really out of your hands. Said a prayer for you, and I hope that you'll update us on the outcome.
3/11 Clomid-Ovidrel-IUI #1-progesterone= BFN.
5/11 Femara-Bravelle-Ovidrel-IUI#2-progesterone=BFN.
6/11 Femara-Ovidrel-IUI#3-progesterone=BFP!
Beta #1 7/1: 39. Beta #2 7/5: 301 U/S 7/19 - saw HB!!
EDD 3/12/12
DD born 3/5/12
Baby #2 Beta #1 12/16: 439. Beta #2 12/18: 1240
EDD 8/22/15