I gave birth to the demon child.. no kidding really.

Tricia879 · March 2011

DS has been this screaming monster baby since birth, we assumed colic. He is now almost 5 months old, has swapped formulas multiple times, is on Zantac and prevacid, no longer naps EVER unless we are in the car and im sorry but gas prices are flipping outrageous to be driving for hours upon hours. He is almost never happy, I have become this terribly frustrated and upset mom who cannot even stand to look at my older child or my baby bc I just want to scream bc my stress levels are through the roof. I have done weekly visits to the peds, we change things he is okay for a day or two then the demonic child comes back. I am at my wits end. I want to just die bc I cannot do anything right for him. Shushing, swinging, rocking, rolling NOTHING consoles this kid! Sometimes he is okay but in short periods. His pedi says some babies do not nap, okay but those babies do not scream for days on end either. He no longer sleeps well, he has constant low grade temps, everyone claims oh its teething, are you kidding me? If he has been teething from birth then someone needs to cut his gums open and get the damn things to come out. I have read happiest baby on the block and trust me I got the satanic child from hades in my house.Sorry I needed to vent, I have tried remaining calm and serene but the high pitched wails are killing me. SOME thing has GOT to be wrong with this kid for him to be this way almost on a non stop basis.

williaw · March 2011

Is there someone (a relative or perhaps a daycare) that you can leave him with maybe once a week for a few hours just to get some sanity?

neferhathor · March 2011

omg. i don't have advice for you but you have my sympathy! good luck!

gemrae1225 · March 2011

I HATE posts like this. Seriously?!?!?!?!?! The demon child?!?!?!?!!? I understand that you are frustrated, but there are much better ways to express yourself. It seems to me that you need a good support system and possibly a few hours of alone time a week. Do you have any family members around that are willing to help you?

insertclevername · March 2011

I am so sorry that you are going through this. Have you thought about going to another pediatrician? Maybe they would have some insight into the situation. Do you have anyone that can help you out and give you a break every now and again? Do you have the money to take half a day and get yourself a massage or some sort of spa treatment? Is your SO/H supporting you through this? It sounds like you are at your wits end and that is completely understandable. I hope that there is someone that you can reach out to for some help so you can get a break.

BeachM · March 2011

Does he ever nap? He could be overtired which in our house leads to screaming meltdowns.

Honestly, you may have to force him to nap. My MIL told me once that you can't force a baby to sleep and I said "Watch me." If it were me, to save my sanity I'd hold him for naps (if that will work) in order to fix the overtiredness. Then I'd start to work on naps in the crib, or wherever you want him to sleep. It might involve some crying, but there are multiple methods you can try depending on how comfortable you are with letting him cry a bit.

SimoneSays22 · March 2011

I'm so sorry. I don't know how mommas with colicky babies do it. I can't stand when D is screaming for 2 minutes. I understand your frustration and I'm so sorry.

I'm sure you have probably done this, but does he like to be worn in a wrap or carrier? Sometimes when D is inconsolable, that's all I can do to calm him.

I would also trust your mommy instinct and see if you can get him to a specialist. I agree that it seems like there is something wrong for him to be that unhappy all of the time.

rg8482 · March 2011

I'm so sorry to hear this.

I can understand your frustration. Have you thought about getting a 2nd opinion from a different pedi?

I agree that there has to be something wrong with your child if he's constantly screaming. He might be in some sort of pain.

Tricia879 · March 2011

williaw:
Is there someone (a relative or perhaps a daycare) that you can leave him with maybe once a week for a few hours just to get some sanity?

I wish there was someone who would help me out, my family all works full time so no one is around to help out and of course he is normal sane baby for the public. My DH is the only person who has seen this side of him. My family saw it when he was a newborn and I quit BFing bc we thought it was something with me or my milk harming him. He would get normal on formula then suddenly baby go bad.. We swap to soy normal, then downhill since RSV. He used to nap at least to give me some free time of sanity but since his illness no longer, he was STTN so well, now we wake hourly until 3 or 4am then he sleeps in the rest of the morning, we usually just give him his paci at night but still hourly for 6 or 7 hrs is annoying and tiring. DH and I both can tell DS is sleepy bc he rubs his eyes and tries to sleep, he is not happy for long playing he wants to be held all the time, which my mom blames as my spoiling him but he was such a rotten baby holding him was his only solice. I am just so annoyed and frustrated and exhausted that I feel helpless at this point. My DH works 2 jobs and wants to be a fireman which takes him out of the home on Monday evenings which sometimes is when I need that little bit of sanity the most. I dont dare ask him to resign but I REALLY could use time out. I am actually going to be allowed to leave the house without him making me feel like crap tomorrow and Wed night but trust me that is NOT soon enough. I just dont know what to do, I am sick of going the to dr weekly and having no real answers.

williaw · March 2011

Tricia879:

williaw:
Is there someone (a relative or perhaps a daycare) that you can leave him with maybe once a week for a few hours just to get some sanity?

I wish there was someone who would help me out, my family all works full time so no one is around to help out and of course he is normal sane baby for the public. My DH is the only person who has seen this side of him. My family saw it when he was a newborn and I quit BFing bc we thought it was something with me or my milk harming him. He would get normal on formula then suddenly baby go bad.. We swap to soy normal, then downhill since RSV. He used to nap at least to give me some free time of sanity but since his illness no longer, he was STTN so well, now we wake hourly until 3 or 4am then he sleeps in the rest of the morning, we usually just give him his paci at night but still hourly for 6 or 7 hrs is annoying and tiring. DH and I both can tell DS is sleepy bc he rubs his eyes and tries to sleep, he is not happy for long playing he wants to be held all the time, which my mom blames as my spoiling him but he was such a rotten baby holding him was his only solice. I am just so annoyed and frustrated and exhausted that I feel helpless at this point. My DH works 2 jobs and wants to be a fireman which takes him out of the home on Monday evenings which sometimes is when I need that little bit of sanity the most. I dont dare ask him to resign but I REALLY could use time out. I am actually going to be allowed to leave the house without him making me feel like crap tomorrow and Wed night but trust me that is NOT soon enough. I just dont know what to do, I am sick of going the to dr weekly and having no real answers.

I agree with PPs, maybe you should try a specialist or another Ped. There really might be something wrong, he might be in some sort of pain. Sorry you are going through this. I wish I had more helpful advice for you.

Nhev · March 2011

Have you tried hypoallergenic formula? Amelia was constantly screaming for months and a few weeks after cutting out dairy from my diet + supplementing a bottle a day with Enfamil Nutramigen, she's like a new baby. If he's ok in public, take him out! It might help both of you. You sound incredibly resentful toward your son and I really hope you can get help with him. He's doing nothing wrong. As much as Amelia was screaming inconsolably, as stressful as it was when I was alone with her for days with no help, I never considered her a demon baby, bad baby, whatever. They cry for a reason, even if it's not plain to see.

Tricia879 · March 2011

gemrae1225:
I HATE posts like this. Seriously?!?!?!?!?! The demon child?!?!?!?!!? I understand that you are frustrated, but there are much better ways to express yourself. It seems to me that you need a good support system and possibly a few hours of alone time a week. Do you have any family members around that are willing to help you?

Sorry but until you live it you cant say that.DD was easy happy perfect baby. The only thing missing with ds is a spinning head.

Tricia879 · March 2011

gemrae1225:
I HATE posts like this. Seriously?!?!?!?!?! The demon child?!?!?!?!!? I understand that you are frustrated, but there are much better ways to express yourself. It seems to me that you need a good support system and possibly a few hours of alone time a week. Do you have any family members around that are willing to help you?

Sorry but until you live it you cant say that.DD was easy happy perfect baby. The only thing missing with ds is a spinning head.

MJHershey · March 2011

flip_flops:
Honestly, you may have to force him to nap. My MIL told me once that you can't force a baby to sleep and I said "Watch me."

I had to tell my MIL this over the weekend when she said (knowingly) "Oh, he won't nap". I looked at her and said "You have to force him to" and explained rocking him and soothing him. She thought just putting him down would do it. HA! (It explains why they just keep feeding him when he cries instead of making him sleep.)

OP, I am sorry you are having a rough time. I second maybe seeing a different pedi for a second opinion to rule out anything else. Also, getting a break.

Tricia879 · March 2011

Nhev:
Have you tried hypoallergenic formula? Amelia was constantly screaming for months and a few weeks after cutting out dairy from my diet + supplementing a bottle a day with Enfamil Nutramigen, she's like a new baby. If he's ok in public, take him out! It might help both of you. You sound incredibly resentful toward your son and I really hope you can get help with him. He's doing nothing wrong. As much as Amelia was screaming inconsolably, as stressful as it was when I was alone with her for days with no help, I never considered her a demon baby, bad baby, whatever. They cry for a reason, even if it's not plain to see.

In mommy terms its called PPD, mommy exhaustion, feelings of inadiquacy and more. We are on alimentum and putting rice cereal in. New baby 2 days freak out baby after, We tried Neoocate but it blistered his behind, from his poops. So we stopped. I know there is something wrong and he cannot help it but its as point of what? I do go out but I also get tired of going to walmart for no reason and lugging 17lb baby and carseat. I am allowed to be a stressed out upset mom its normal.

Tricia879 · March 2011

Nhev:
Have you tried hypoallergenic formula? Amelia was constantly screaming for months and a few weeks after cutting out dairy from my diet + supplementing a bottle a day with Enfamil Nutramigen, she's like a new baby. If he's ok in public, take him out! It might help both of you. You sound incredibly resentful toward your son and I really hope you can get help with him. He's doing nothing wrong. As much as Amelia was screaming inconsolably, as stressful as it was when I was alone with her for days with no help, I never considered her a demon baby, bad baby, whatever. They cry for a reason, even if it's not plain to see.

In mommy terms its called PPD, mommy exhaustion, feelings of inadiquacy and more. We are on alimentum and putting rice cereal in. New baby 2 days freak out baby after, We tried Neoocate but it blistered his behind, from his poops. So we stopped. I know there is something wrong and he cannot help it but its as point of what? I do go out but I also get tired of going to walmart for no reason and lugging 17lb baby and carseat. I am allowed to be a stressed out upset mom its normal.

BeachM · March 2011

MJLab78:
flip_flops:
Honestly, you may have to force him to nap. My MIL told me once that you can't force a baby to sleep and I said "Watch me."
I had to tell my MIL this over the weekend when she said (knowingly) "Oh, he won't nap". I looked at her and said "You have to force him to" and explained rocking him and soothing him. She thought just putting him down would do it. HA! (It explains why they just keep feeding him when he cries instead of making him sleep.)
OP, I am sorry you are having a rough time. I second maybe seeing a different pedi for a second opinion to rule out anything else.

Yes, especially since there are very few reasons why a child is physically unable to sleep. Unless he's diagnosed with a neurological disorder, I don't believe any pedi who says that some children simply don't sleep. They may not be textbook sleepers, but sleep is as necessary for babies as food.

clounsbur · March 2011

Geez I can really sympathize with your frustrations. My ds went through a fussy phase but it only lasted a couple weeks. I can't imagine five months. I would second the advice to try a new pedi. Also you say he is good in public? Maybe something in your home is bothering him. Could be that he has headaches from something in the air like a pollen or mold spore? Maybe you could spend a weekend away at a friends or relatives to test this theory. Let them know that you are experimenting with this idea that something in your home may be an allergen to him. I also think you should read some sleep solution books if you haven't already and really dedicate yourself to trying the methods full force. You may have to give each method a few weeks before moving on to something else. When my son gets overly tired he will have a meltdown and it takes a lot to get him to calm down sometimes. Try and keep a journal of when he seems happy and content and when things start to go downhill. Maybe you can see a pattern develop that will give you a clue as to what maybe triggering him. I also had a friend whose baby was very fussy and her pedi had her try goat's milk formula and that really helped with the fussiness. Her baby wouldn't tolerate soy or regular formula. Lastly, I will say that I really feel for your situation but in the big picture of your life this time is just a small blip. No child is rotten or demonic and although you are super frustrated I think you may regret seeing your baby that way. He just needs your help in finding his happiness in this world. Don't give up on him or yourself!

blondek8 · March 2011

I'm so sorry Tricia. Mine weren't/aren't colicky but holy crap the crying sometimes makes me want to drop everything and leave. Mine are consolable so I can't imagine what you're going through. If you feel like something else is wrong with baby and you're at your wits end -- get a second opinion. Do your best to try to get some relief for yourself as well! ((hugs))

MJHershey · March 2011

Also if he has constant low grade temperatures, that would concern me as well.

And one more thing, I acknowledge that I cannot relate since Alex came out of his fussy stage at about 7-8 weeks and is mostly happy - but I do notice that if he is fussy and I am stressed out, he just feeds off of it and gets worse.

(Granted it is so very hard to be calm and not get stressed yourself when you have a screaming baby).

Nhev · March 2011

Tricia879:
Nhev:
Have you tried hypoallergenic formula? Amelia was constantly screaming for months and a few weeks after cutting out dairy from my diet + supplementing a bottle a day with Enfamil Nutramigen, she's like a new baby. If he's ok in public, take him out! It might help both of you. You sound incredibly resentful toward your son and I really hope you can get help with him. He's doing nothing wrong. As much as Amelia was screaming inconsolably, as stressful as it was when I was alone with her for days with no help, I never considered her a demon baby, bad baby, whatever. They cry for a reason, even if it's not plain to see.

In mommy terms its called PPD, mommy exhaustion, feelings of inadiquacy and more. We are on alimentum and putting rice cereal in. New baby 2 days freak out baby after, We tried Neoocate but it blistered his behind, from his poops. So we stopped. I know there is something wrong and he cannot help it but its as point of what? I do go out but I also get tired of going to walmart for no reason and lugging 17lb baby and carseat. I am allowed to be a stressed out upset mom its normal.

I'm not saying you shouldn't be stressed out. I'm sorry that you are going through this, and sorry that your baby is as well. Like PPs said, maybe a second opinion would be helpful. I know our pedi is one to quickly write off most symptoms as "a virus (give pedis ute!)" and I don't always trust that so we're switching. It still bothers me that you said "demon baby" and not a "normal, sane baby," but obviously it's getting to you. I hope you're able to get someone to watch him so you can get a break.

grr_aargh · March 2011

I'm sorry.

He sounds like someone who likes to be moving - have you tried the carseat on top of the dryer? White noise? Long walks in the stroller?

I have a jogging stroller and we wore out the tires for each of our kids from walking - it calmed them to be moving. What do you do when he screams?

I would get a 2nd opinion from a GI doc - perhaps have them do an upper GI to rule out major gastrointestinal issues or serious silent reflux. If they rule out physical issues, consider that you simply have a higher needs baby than average.

My kids have all been very bad sleepers - we cosleep & cat nap and they just take more. See if you can get yourself to change your reaction to the crying - think of it as all they have to communicate w/us, It can mean anything from hi to I'm starving, you know? I know how it feels to not be able to calm a child or to have them in-arms for 20 of 24 hours. . . it makes me sad to see people refer to their babies as demons though I understand being so desperate as to feel that way. Just remember, they're not doing it TO you - it's just all they know.

kmahany · March 2011

I'm so sorry, I feel your pain. we went through this for about 2 months with my DS. He just never seemed happy and cried constantly. I thinnk he is finally growing out of it though. I think you should get a second opinion in case there is something wrong.

I would also be careful with what you say, some on here have been known to contact CPS on moms venting about their colicky cranky babies.

wife1014 · March 2011

Wow, I feel like I should copy and paste what I said to the earlier post. First, please be careful how much complaining you do and what you say on these boards. Others, more perfect mothers, make take you literally and it ends up blowing up in your face. Trust me on this one.

That being said, I am a huge believer in specialists. You must see a GI specialist and probably should get a second pedi opinion based on the previous RSV and low grade temps. You've gotten some great sleep advice already so I won't go there.

I wish you lots and lots of luck and hope your baby turns the corner soon. It took us right 'til 5 months. But it has gotten better and I am sure once you figure out what is wrong, everything will be fine.

BTW,"demon child" make me chuckle...I know what you mean.

RobinSparkles214 · March 2011

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I can empathize with you on many of the things that you said. It is ok to feel how you do, it can't always be sugar coated. You are exhausted, and it sounds like your little one is too.

I really don't have any advice for you, as I am going through something very similar. I just want you to know that you are not alone in this. DS #1 was a completely different baby, so I just was really thrown for a loop when DS #2 was so difficult/high needs from the get go.

I would recommend going to see a new pedi though. Good luck to you, and I hope you're able to relax by yourself sometime very soon : )

Tricia879 · March 2011

wife1014:

Wow, I feel like I should copy and paste what I said to the earlier post. First, please be careful how much complaining you do and what you say on these boards. Others, more perfect mothers, make take you literally and it ends up blowing up in your face. Trust me on this one.

That being said, I am a huge believer in specialists. You must see a GI specialist and probably should get a second pedi opinion based on the previous RSV and low grade temps. You've gotten some great sleep advice already so I won't go there.

I wish you lots and lots of luck and hope your baby turns the corner soon. It took us right 'til 5 months. But it has gotten better and I am sure once you figure out what is wrong, everything will be fine.

BTW,"demon child" make me chuckle...I know what you mean.

Everyone is a perfect mom the first time around right? The second time its more like you know they have conspired to see what to do to mommy's sanity today... LOL.. My 6yr old is very into this testing to see how far before I get in BIG trouble, she is slowly learning it doesnt take much!

We saw the Pedi yesterday, its not related to the RSV, its been over month and he did have an ear infection after which we treated. She now switched us back to the neocate formula, hopefully no blister reactions to him this time... We are going to see a GI dr, have bloodwork done in case of a hidden infection, checked for a UTI that was clear. and she is trying to figure out the best way to check his head out since his soft spot is almost closed and that could be causing the fussiness and vomiting.. We shall see though..

SIMBASIM · March 2011

wife1014:
Wow, I feel like I should copy and paste what I said to the earlier post. First, please be careful how much complaining you do and what you say on these boards. Others, more perfect mothers, make take you literally and it ends up blowing up in your face. Trust me on this one.

That being said, I am a huge believer in specialists. You must see a GI specialist and probably should get a second pedi opinion based on the previous RSV and low grade temps. You've gotten some great sleep advice already so I won't go there.

I wish you lots and lots of luck and hope your baby turns the corner soon. It took us right 'til 5 months. But it has gotten better and I am sure once you figure out what is wrong, everything will be fine.

BTW,"demon child" make me chuckle...I know what you mean.

I was thinking the same thing. This poor girl is gonna get some crap for this post! Look I have a colic baby with severe sleep issues. All GI related but now I am entering the teething stage without any relief. I hVe not slept in 5 months but it feels like 10 years. Fortunately, he is happy during the day so I cannot relate to you there. However, I am freaking cranky all the time because I don't get to sleep. I keep getting the same crap from my pedi " he will STTN when he us ready" WHATEVER!!! All I can offer you is a big hug and promise it won't be like this forever. You definitely need to give yourself a break. Get out of that house alone and spend some "you time". Also, don't let anyone give you any slack for your post. This is a place for us to vent not be judged so shame on all you judgmental people. Don't you dare point fingers til you walked a day in her shoes.

JoannaJes · March 2011

Now I remember you. You posted a while ago about your LO vomiting a lot, correct? And that your pedi "thought" it might be due to his soft spot closing too early? Which I think is weird.

Anyway, I remember you getting a lot of advice to seek out a specialist such as a Pediatric GI, and to probably find a pediatrician that will actually help you solve your problem, instead of just hypothesize about what the issue is.

Same answer as before. FIND A DOCTOR THAT WILL HELP YOU. Nobody is going to do the work for you mama, you have to find another physician, and definitely a GI. If you LO's condition is serious enough to warrant a trial of Neocate, then you need a specialist. (As a side note, Neocate gave DD a horrible diaper rash as well, and we went off of it.)

wife1014 · March 2011

Tricia879:
wife1014:

Wow, I feel like I should copy and paste what I said to the earlier post. First, please be careful how much complaining you do and what you say on these boards. Others, more perfect mothers, make take you literally and it ends up blowing up in your face. Trust me on this one.

That being said, I am a huge believer in specialists. You must see a GI specialist and probably should get a second pedi opinion based on the previous RSV and low grade temps. You've gotten some great sleep advice already so I won't go there.

I wish you lots and lots of luck and hope your baby turns the corner soon. It took us right 'til 5 months. But it has gotten better and I am sure once you figure out what is wrong, everything will be fine.

BTW,"demon child" make me chuckle...I know what you mean.

Everyone is a perfect mom the first time around right? The second time its more like you know they have conspired to see what to do to mommy's sanity today... LOL.. My 6yr old is very into this testing to see how far before I get in BIG trouble, she is slowly learning it doesnt take much!

We saw the Pedi yesterday, its not related to the RSV, its been over month and he did have an ear infection after which we treated. She now switched us back to the neocate formula, hopefully no blister reactions to him this time... We are going to see a GI dr, have bloodwork done in case of a hidden infection, checked for a UTI that was clear. and she is trying to figure out the best way to check his head out since his soft spot is almost closed and that could be causing the fussiness and vomiting.. We shall see though..

Awesome that you were seen by the pedi and that you will finally see a GI specialist. I really hope you find some answers. Good luck!

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