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Working Moms
TrendyTina
member
Any PhD students or Professors on TB?
TrendyTina
member
in Working Moms
DH and I are both PhD students and have plans to TTC in 3 months. We're nervous about how LO will affect our studies. Is there anyone on here who is a PhD student or professor? How do you handle the demands of academia without missing out on time with LO? How do you make it work? Any advice or suggestions would be much appreciated!
Here is my plan:
Start TTC in 3 months, take Quals Jan 2012, deliver LO in March 2012 (or later depending on how many months it takes to conceive), finish spring coursework as independent study and complete prior to LOs arrival, take summer 2012 off, work on dissertation during fall and spring of '12 and '13 while staying home with LO. Sound feasible? I'm excited, but nervous!
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Re: Any PhD students or Professors on TB?
It completely depends on what kind of PhD student you are, in other words, what field. I think it is totally possible to have a baby and be a PhD student. In many aspects, it is actually a really good time to do it. You may be busy and overworked but your time is flexible which is really great with a LO. I do think that childcare is something that you need to consider to make it work though. At least part time.
I see that your plan is to work on the dissertation at home with a baby. Well, for me, this would not have worked. Most of my work was wet work in a lab but even for the writing aspect of things, I can not focus at all when home with DS.
I think most of the WM here would say that working at home AND taking care of a LO is not that feasible. Although, I am sure there are exceptions.
I guess, if you and your DH are both working at home, you could swap shifts with the baby. I wouldn't choose to do it that way though.
I'm a professor at an R1 and have 2 small children. I had one during my post doc and the second in my first year of tenure track. It is challenging because no one in academia has the comfort of a 40 hour per week job and there is always that stress of feeling like you aren't working hard enough. I definitely think it is better to have children late in your PhD or post doc rather than once on the TT where you really are being judged constantly. I encourage you to find affordable child care because the stress of taking care of a child full time and studying full time will be overwhelming. Good luck
Not a PhD (yet...as my coworkers would chime in...) but I work in academia so I'll weigh in...
as others said I think a lot depends on lots of factors but my first thought was whether you have help available or the $ to pay for help, b/c without family help or paid help I would think it would be really tough unless neither of you are working & you can truly swap child care responsibilities in a way that works for both your programs (are you in the same one?).
I know someone who had FOUR babies while in dental school & only took a year off at some point so you can do all sorts of things with the right resources I suppose
. But I also know someone who started her PhD childless and had 2 of them since then and it has been quite a number of years and her dissertation fell by the wayside & I'm not sure if she will ever finish it within the time constraints.
I just finished my dissertation and defense in November. I honestly wouldn't recommend doing it with a child. It takes so much time and takes a lot of motivation to work on it continually. I think if I would have had a child at this point, it would have been extremely difficult to find the motivation, time, and energy to work on the dissertation.
With that said, anything is possible. If you are a PhD candidate you are obviously highly motivated and can persevere through tough situations, so I'm sure you could do, especially if you don't have a job on the side. There were many in my program with children (not sure how old), but they made it.
I'm 38, so my trajectory was a bit different. I was entirely school and career focused until a couple years ago when we decided to TTC. I didn't even think I wanted children until then...and then my clock started ticking a bit and I realized that I did really want at least one child.
I think it probably differs depending on your area of study and what route you're taking, professionally. I'm a clinical psychology Ph.D., so part of my work is clinical - I direct a clinic at a university medical center and also do research...so not 100% academia. Looking back, I can't imagine having had children while pursuing my Ph.D. But, the demands of my program were such that we were required to do a great deal of clinical work in addition to our coursework and research. I even worked in addition to my program requirements - the equivalent of a full time job just to make ends meet (the job also contributed to my training, so there was even more motivation to work that hard). Everything was very competitive with regard to training placements, etc. Also, many of us move around for our internship and post-doctoral work. One important factor is also how financially sound you are as a student. I was incredibly broke trying to get by...I could hardly afford my rent much less having a child during my graduate studies.
I've seen other people have children while in graduate school, though. My assumption is that you have to be in the right place to handle it, maturity-wise and also with regard to your organizational skills. I can say with confidence that I was not in that place while I was in graduate school, nor did I have a husband:)
In any case, I can speak to being on faculty at a university while having a baby...and it is challenging. Luckily, I've spent many years "doing my time" and proving myself that I've built a great deal of autonomy and flexibility in what I do. But, when I'm at work, I'm thinking about what I'm not getting done at home and I miss my LO...and when I'm at home, I'm obsessing over what I'm not getting done at work. I often bring work home with me to do after LO goes to bed. At times, I feel I'm being scrutinized by others who got used to my productivity prior to baby...and that productivity has decreased. Also, it is challenging for me to watch others who have more flexibility be able to say "yes" to thinks I would love to do, but can't do because I simply don't have enough hours in the day while caring for a child. When I went back to work after maternity leave, I made a promise to myself that I would stick to an 8-hour a day work schedule. My 8-hour day has moved to 9 hours, then 10 hours. On one day recently, my LO was at daycare for 11 hours. My father asked me the other day if LO was crawling yet, because he had been close to doing so over the prior weekend. It felt weird to say, "I don't really know," because I hadn't had any time to play with LO on the floor that entire work-week. So, that part sucks and I've been really trying to rope it in.
The things which have helped: a) I have an amazing husband who works an insane number of hours a week but still helps a huge amount around the house. He's also on faculty at another university (and a clinical psychologist), and b) we pay up the wazoo for a great daycare center five minutes from where I work. I have complete confidence in the daycare workers. That was not the case when LO initially went to daycare. We switched, and I am happy now.
Best of luck.
I work full time at a university and am finishing my PhD in English. I'm only taking a class a semester, but I'm working on reading for exams, too.
There are quite a few of my fellow students with young children, and, like pp mentioned, there is a degree of flexibility that can make it work.
What field are you in, and what are you planning on doing after you get your PhD? For me, I knew my schedule wasn't going to get any less hectic in the foreseeable future, so now was as good a time as any!
Good luck!
I went to law school with a baby- and he went to daycare M-Thurs. There is no way I could have gotten work done with him home.
ETA: I went Penn undergrad & once went to a speech by the president of the university at the time, Judy Rodin, and she said if she could have done anything differently she wouldn't have waited until she got tenure to have kids. That has stuck with me. I just think it would be really hard w/o some sort of childcare arrangement.
I'm also studying English and, like you mentioned, life will not get any easier after graduation. My plan is to look for a job as a professor after graduation. Now, although stressful, my schedule is flexible. After graduation, things will be much different. I'm confident, although it will be difficult, now is the best time. Thanks for your help and advice!
The 'plan' sounds ok except for the bolded part. Working on your dissertation is a full time job and taking care of the baby is a full time job, You cannot do both AND expect to be done in 2 years. That is insane and you'll just stress yourself out.
DH has had several disseration fellowships that pay for our daycare. We do vary the # of days in daycare each semester, for example now that he has defended and is just finalizing edits for publication they are only going 3 days a week. But we definitely NEEDED full time daycare when he was heavy in the research and writing phase. Not to mention you need to be writing articles to publish, getting teaching experience under your belt, etc.
Also, the job market SUCKS BIG TIME, at least in history. Do not assume you will graduate with your PhD and land a tenure track job right away. There may very well be some adjust positions and/or 1 year visiting positions before you get the 'good one'. That is where we are now, which makes life a bit more uncertain, but do-able. But with BOTH of you getting PhDs, make sure you go in eyes wide open to this process. Education is wonderful, but you will have a family to feed and support and what happens if you end up with job offers on the opposite side of the country, etc.
I really think it depends on your discipline.
I'm in a 4 year program. 2.5 years of coursework, 1 semester of research/qualifying exams, 1 year for dissertation.
I had LO in August, at the beginning of my 3rd year. I planned it for this time and had prepared by making my fall load lighter - I actually had already done the work for 2 of my independent classes in the summer and just applied the credits for the fall.
It's great for flexibility. My husband also has a flexible job, so we have appreciate the time that we have to be alone with LO and also together as a family. It's also great because if I have a meeting or teach a class, H can pick her up or run her to the doctor.
LO was born at the end of August and we had someone come to the house on Mondays and Wednesdays (about 6 hours a day) so I could go teach. I was home on Tuesdays and H doesn't work Thursdays or Fridays so I could go to the office if I needed to. That being said, we put her in daycare this spring. I couldn't work from home much anymore since she demanded more attention. We still have flexibility, so LO is only at daycare from about 10 - 3/4 each day and it's easy to keep her out if she has the sniffles or we want to do something fun.
hi. wife of a professor... friends with a number of women who were grad students.
I agree with the others... depends on the field of study and program. dh got his phd in a science at a R1 /ivy... we had our first dc 2 months before his defense. he had 2 wks off when I had dd... then my parents came and he went back to full time work. there was one woman in his program that gave birth during her last year, her husband was not in the program and sah. I cannot imagine doing the amount of work he did and going through pg and caring for a newborn. it was a big joke that a number of the students' wives would get pg the last year. most women in the program did not.
during his post doc, I became friends with a number of women/moms who were in grad school.. a few phd candidates who , like you, planned on sah and writing their dissertation after baby was born. all complained about how difficult it was to get any work done and all actually did take much longer than anticipated to complete their dissertations. one ended up sending dc to daycare, one ended up getting a nanny, another ended up getting a "mother's helper" (jr high student would come after school and play with the baby while she sat and hammered out a few hours of uninterrupted work during daylight). these women were in different fields than my dh... two were in math, one was an english lit, the other was in social work. they did complete their degrees and are working now. it just took them longer than they had planned.
good luck.
It is probably harder than any other field. I had friends in grad school who thought "oh I'll write with baby" and realized it did not work like that so I caution against that thought.
I had DS just as I applied for tenure (both arrived same day) but I still feel the stress. The job has no vacation/sick days and in order to get work done children have to be in daycare. Job has many night/weekend responsibilities but there is no daycare available.
That said, I have made it a point to work at work (shut the door sometimes so you don't have to deal with others or find a productive quiet place on campus) and be with my family at home. This has enabled me to focus my energies.
Good luck on both!