When Did First Let Your Kids Stay Home Alone?
DH and I were just discussing this and the two PP's got me wondering what other people do. DH and I were raised to be very independent (had to be) and were both latch key kids before age 10. Our parents let us do things like walk to the store alone or take the city bus downtown with a friend at age 8, although I think they felt it was a safer time and would never do that now.
SS is nearly 11 and I don't know if BM ever leaves him alone, but I don't think I feel comfortable letting him be home alone for even a half hour. This is partly due to repercussions from BM, who has taken photos of a blister from the monkey bars to court as an attempt to accuse DH of child abuse. We feel like we have to wrap SS is bubble wrap whenever we do anything and I have promised DH we won't have to be like this for our future children. A google search recommendation said 8 yrs, but 12 yrs on a regular basis, and a few states have laws about it.
Re: When Did First Let Your Kids Stay Home Alone?
Yes, a few states do have laws that dictate the age you can leave kids home alone.
Some hospitals offer courses for kids--classes about staying home alone or sitter safety type stuff. You might want to look into that.
I had to write an article about this for my last job, and I interviewed a nurse who said that it truly does depend on the kid. She taught one of these courses at a hospital in St. Louis.
But you can talk about it with the kid, allow him to express any concerns he has, and if he's okay with it, then you can start with 10-15 minutes and build him up a bit from there. You can go over home safety rules, trust concepts, and then make sure all the phone numbers he might need are easily accessible.
I started staying home by myself at 7 or so, and by age 12 my parents were leaving me home with my younger siblings all day during the summer and after school during the school year. It was fine.
They definitely need access to a phone, emergencies happen and I know someone that burnt down their apartment cooking on the stove and that was at 16yo.
Well, it depends on the kid, for sure. Plus, things are so different now than they were when we were growing up.
I don't think I'll leave Sophie alone at home until she's at least 11 and she's pretty responsible. I'd never leave her alone with Charlotte though, until she's much older, because they tend to argue sometimes. If anything happened because I decided to leave them home alone one time, I'd never forgive myself.
We left DD at home about a week ago for 15 mins by herself. She is 11. DH usually picks her up from school (located at the back of our subdivision) and then takes her to his school (near the front of our subdivision) and she sits in his office until he gets off work. That day, I got off work early for an appointment and called him as he was picking her up and told him I was already at SIL's house getting the baby and to just drop her by the house and I would be home in a few minutes.
I was scared the whole time even though DH was literally on the next street over LOL. I don't know why, at her age I was running around everywhere by myself. I just started letting her ride her bike on the sidewalk without me outside last year.
We are talking about the possibility of allowing oldest SS to stay home alone for short periods on a very limited basis: trips to the grocery store, etc. and possibly stay on the school playground without a parent (like while I run younger SS to soccer) with a cell phone.
I need to check on our state's laws, though. I think being in a blended family makes us more cautious because a bad decision could really come back to bite you, even if no harm comes of it. I kind of like the addition of that cautiousness, though, since I think it only benefits the kids.
I've never left my skids "home alone" before, but sometimes DH and I go to the neighbor's to visit/eat/have coffee or whatever. Sometimes, the skids (ages 8 and 9) don't want to go with, and would prefer to stay at our house and play. On those occasions I'll usually leave my husband's cell phone with them and we take my cell phone. (We're just next door, so they wouldn't really NEED to call, they could just come over, but still).
My mom worked from 2AM - 12PM from the time I was 8 until just as recently as 2 years ago. (I'm 25 now). My sister and I (who is 2 years younger than me) would be left to fend for ourselves. We got ourselves up in the morning for school, got ready, walked to school on our own. Summers and weekends we did our own thing. We were not alllowed to leave the house unless it was for school, though. We couldn't just go outside and play if our mom hadn't come home from work yet.
I think about doing that, now as an adult, and I keep thinking 'how was I ever able to do that at that age???'. I was a very independent kid, and often times felt like I had to be an 'adult'. So I think my mom knew I was responsible. But still, looking back, I feel like 8 was too young. But my mom had to do what she had to do, she was a single mom and had no family around to help out.
SS is only 5 so we won't be meeting this particular issue for a while, but I think that we will have to assess what maturity level SS is at when he gets to certain ages, and we can decide from there. I don't even know what the law for staying home alone is in Nevada...
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My son started walking home from school when he was in 7th grade, so 12 years old. I would leave him alone here and there when he was 10, for 30 minutes or so if I had to run to the store or something. My dd is 9 and I haven't and don't plan to leave her alone anytime soon.
My ss started walking home from school when he was maybe 11, I think. Which I think is fine too. He lives pretty close to his school and it is a nice area, and tons of kids walk and ride thier bikes to and from school.
If BM is as bad as you say, I'd probably get some sort of "agreement" between her and you DH as to what is an age they both agree on is acceptable.