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How do you raise children without family help?

arbeyerarbeyer member
in Colorado Babies

We have been thinking more and more about having children.  Many of our friends have children, but all of them have help from other family members such as parents.  We live in a different state than all of our family so we will have none of the help that every other parent I know gets.

 Is anyone on here raising children in a different place from family and friends?  I know that we will have to give up much more than parents who have help. No more going to the gym or date nights and whatnot cause it would cost too much to find a baby sitter whenever we wanted to do anything.  I just wanted to know how you deal with it.  We don't even have children yet and I'm already jealous of my peers.

 Thanks for anyones input in advance!

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Re: How do you raise children without family help?

  • munchi005munchi005
    Both of our families live out of state and I don't think it will be a problem for us. Not many of our friends have kids, but the few that do I think we'll just get closer with them. Though I have no issues with the way either one of us were raised, personally I think it would be more of a PIA to have to deal with our Mom's on a daily basis! ;)
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  • mrs.mastromrs.mastro member

    For us, it has been difficult.  DS was born shortly after we moved here, so we really had no support system set up.  I never felt comfortable getting him a sitter when he was very young, so I didn't bother to get him on the bottle (I EBFed), which is now a huge problem.   I still exclusively nurse him (with increasing solids), so it's impossible to leave him for more than 4-5 hours.  If I had family to babysit him in the beginning, it would have been a different story.  

    Even if we could leave him all day, it is hard to find someone to watch a baby on the weekends and week nights, and really expensive.  And honestly, now that we do have friends, they aren't offering to babysit, and I don't blame them either.  They want to enjoy their time before they have kids.  

    As for going to the gym, I got a treadmill at home and run while he is napping.  The only times DH and I have gone on a date were when we were either visiting my parents or they were visiting us. 

    My sister lives near my parents and they beg her to babysit her 18-month-old.  They must have him at least once a week.  And they are always there for her when she gets in a bind.  I am very jealous!  

    We have definitely changed our minds about when to have #2.  We used to want our kids close, but it would be almost impossible (I'd go crazy) to have two very little ones without any help.

    Sorry to be so negative - I wouldn't change having DS for anything no matter what situation we were in.  But I can't lie, it's hard :( 

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  • cherylnicolecherylnicole member
    It's difficult at times, very difficult.  But, possible! We don't have any friends or family around us and since we've never had it any different, we don't know what it would be like! You know, kinda like, we don't know what we're missing! lol.  I think the hardest part is the fact that DS is almost a year old and we have NEVER had a night alone, date night, going to the movies, all has become obsolete.  But, I would never have it any other way :)

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