I wanna be a SAHM!!!!
I know it's financially an impossibility for us at the moment and I've been pursuing a promotion to an AP position for so long that I can't give up now. But, after that week off for Spring Break, my readjustment to work has been really hard. Work itself is fine. It's not too stressful or overwhelming. But, I feel super sluggish and unproductive because I just keep thinking about Elise.
I think that's why I had that meltdown earlier this week about her being with my mom. I know my mom is doing her best and Elise will be fine, but those 9 days straight with her were just so wonderful. I find myself wishing that I could be a SAHM, have two back-to-back, and just go back to work when they are ready for preschool.
The baby fever is also reving up! IDK why, but the more time I spend with Elise, the more I think about starting TTC for the next one. I feel like my mind has been taken over, lol! What happened to me?!?!?!
Re: never thought I would say this....
I feel the exact same way. It blows my mind; I never, ever thought I'd want to be a SAHM.
But, it's not possible for us right now. The struggle now is accepting that!
i always loved working but ever since jillian i rather be a sahm but it sucks that we would never be able to afford me being home
. 
I hope it gets better for you.
Aww Adri..I remember that feeling. I know going back to work after spending all of spring break with Elise is tough. It's like your first week back all over again. Don't worry though, I'm sure you'll get back into your groove soon. ((hugs))
& PS: baby fever is REAL! (hence the baby in my belly). Before Carley was born DH and I said we would wait until Carley was one to start trying....but after she was born, that timeline kept getting closer and closer. Good luck!!!
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It's Beshert
BFP #3: 01/28/12, EDD: 09/23/12, MMC (BO), D&C 2/16/12 at 6.5 wks
BFP #4: 05/23/12, EDD: 01/31/12, Early MC at 5 wks
RPL Workup: + LPD (7DPO Prog = 7.8, Endometrial Bx = out of phase)
Elevated Alpha 2-glycoprotein IgA and antiphosphatidylserine IgM -->
Hematologist said not to worry and no need for treatment!
Dx: LPD
Cycle #1(08/2012): Clomid 50 mg CD3-7, Ovidrel CD13 + Progesterone = It worked!
BFP #5 on 09/10/12 (11 DPO). HCG #1 @ 14DPO = 131.6 HCG #2 @ 16DPO = 509
EDD: 05/23/2013
Being a SAHM is my "dream." I want to be with the boys at all times so I don't miss anything... their first crawl, step... I want to feed them, and rock them to sleep. I guess I'm a bit possessive, but I think it stems from our long struggle, and wanting to enjoy them every second.
However, right now it isn't in the cards for us... but I am very fortunate to have been able to convert to PT and have found the perfect job at that. My boss is a family friend, so he understands our situation. I work 10am-2ishpm, with the flexibility to work from home if necessary (no babysitter, baby sick, etc). Like Laura, for us, it is the perfect situation. I enjoy them in the morning... leave a few hrs... and enjoy them before they pass out for the night (they nap for long time before last bottle and out for rest of night).
The summer will be here soon enough, and Elise will be right back with you 24/7! Like the others said, it is just another adjustment, similar to the first wk after maternity leave. Hang in there.
The boys have also struggled with their routine. MIL is good at TRYING to stick to it, but they are having trouble napping at her house. The environment is too new so they are just "chismiando" around not wanting to sleep. What sucks now is that she leaves next wkend for 2 wks to Spain, and in the meantime my mom will take care of them. DH just told me that it is best if we drop off (I had anticipated her coming here since her house has zero baby equip)... which is going to put yet another hiccup in their routine!! Oh well. Hopefully it doesn't mess with our night time sleeping.
"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane" -- Jimmy Buffett