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Natural Birth
Henry's epi-free birth
Before I got pregnant, I was the last person you would have guessed would go epi-free. In fact, I probably had said more than once in my 20s that I didn't see why everyone didn't just schedule a C-section. Then my cousin, my best friend, had an emergency section at 32 weeks. I saw her grieve a vaginal birth in a very real way. A few months later, while babysitting her daughter, I watched The Business of Being Born, and began researching interventions and c-section rates. Nine months ago, I got pregnant. I was due two years almost to the day that my cousin's daughter was born. I asked her to share my birth experience by being my doula, and we both started preparing for a natural birth. Until March 21 at 4:35 a.m., I wasn't sure I could do it. Now I know I can. I went into early labor Saturday, two days before my due date, shortly after having bloody show. The contractions started out very easily - I knew what they were and could feel them coming. If I relaxed my body and let them wash through me, it was very, very manageable - so much so that for the next 24 hours, I pretty much just went about my life. I ate carbs lightly throughout the day and tried to conserve my energy, since I hadn't slept the night before due to the contractions. I had them steadily for 24 hours, but never closer together than 8 or 10 minutes.
Then, at 8 p.m. that night, my water broke, and we headed to the hospital. I was 2 cm dilated, 60 percent effaced and at the -2 station. The first thing they wanted to do was monitor me - laying down - for 15 minutes. Then they told me I'd have to do that every hour on the hour. I got the feeling they weren't taking my contractions seriously, since they were still pretty far apart. However, when they happened, I noticed I'd get one wave on top of the other. It was like cluster contractions, if that makes any sense.
In an hour, I was 3 cm dilated but complete and he was past the 0 station and getting lower. That's when things started getting hard. One of the main reasons I wanted an epidural was to walk, but I noticed pretty quickly that any pressure on my cervix - walking, sitting, squatting - brought him even further down and created almost a constant contraction. I dilated to almost 6 cm in a flash and stalled.
The pressure was incredible, much worse than the contractions themselves. Massage was pointless. The tub and shower, which felt wonderful at 4 cm, was no help. I spent a lot of time bent belly down on the birthing ball - the only position that took the pressure off my cervix and let me have some space between contractions.
Right about then, I began doubting - seriously - my ability to go on. I literally sobbed and begged for an epidural. My husband and my cousin said no. I had told them before that there was no "safe word" - when I was in transition, I wanted no going back. But I thought there was no way I COULD be in transition, because I was only 6 cm dilated, and I had always read that happened at 8 to 10 cm.
When my cousin reminded me that an epidural might slow the labor down and that my water was already broken, I sagged back against the tub and cried. I knew I didn't want that but I also knew that after being in labor for more than 36 hours without sleep, I wasn't coping well with the contractions. I was fighting them and fearing the next one. I asked my nurse if there were any options before the epidural. She suggested a small dose of stadol. It was the right decision for me. Within 45 minutes, I was 9.5 cm dilated.
The entire labor, the nurse had been telling me that I needed to let her know when I felt the need to push. I had read a lot about that moment - about how it would be relief to push, and that the desire to do so would be almost unstoppable. Maybe it's because he was so low - he was practically crowning when I was able to do my first real push - but there is no force I've ever felt as uncontrollable as the urge to bear down. My husband says the noises I made were primal, and he's not wrong. Henry was born on his due date in three pushes - head, shoulders and body. My placenta pretty much just rocketed out after him. I tore - apparently the doctor tried to hold his head in to prevent that, but I was pretty much pushing without permission at that point - but I was out of bed within minutes of him finishing stitching and on a total high. I think the nurses didn't know what to do with me. I was totally self-sufficient, not in pain, and able to take care of myself and my baby right away. For anyone who is considering natural birth and is scared or uncertain or unsure where to start, I just want to say, try. It will be hard. Things probably won't go as you expect. But in the end you will be amazed at what you are capable of. I can't say what giving birth this way meant to me. I feel proud that I was able to do this for my son, who was born so serene and happy. I feel empowered, and in awe of my body and my baby. While there are things I wish had happened differently, it was my labor and I was connected through every moment of it. I will remember what it felt like to deliver my child for the rest of my life.
Then, at 8 p.m. that night, my water broke, and we headed to the hospital. I was 2 cm dilated, 60 percent effaced and at the -2 station. The first thing they wanted to do was monitor me - laying down - for 15 minutes. Then they told me I'd have to do that every hour on the hour. I got the feeling they weren't taking my contractions seriously, since they were still pretty far apart. However, when they happened, I noticed I'd get one wave on top of the other. It was like cluster contractions, if that makes any sense.
In an hour, I was 3 cm dilated but complete and he was past the 0 station and getting lower. That's when things started getting hard. One of the main reasons I wanted an epidural was to walk, but I noticed pretty quickly that any pressure on my cervix - walking, sitting, squatting - brought him even further down and created almost a constant contraction. I dilated to almost 6 cm in a flash and stalled.
The pressure was incredible, much worse than the contractions themselves. Massage was pointless. The tub and shower, which felt wonderful at 4 cm, was no help. I spent a lot of time bent belly down on the birthing ball - the only position that took the pressure off my cervix and let me have some space between contractions.
Right about then, I began doubting - seriously - my ability to go on. I literally sobbed and begged for an epidural. My husband and my cousin said no. I had told them before that there was no "safe word" - when I was in transition, I wanted no going back. But I thought there was no way I COULD be in transition, because I was only 6 cm dilated, and I had always read that happened at 8 to 10 cm.
When my cousin reminded me that an epidural might slow the labor down and that my water was already broken, I sagged back against the tub and cried. I knew I didn't want that but I also knew that after being in labor for more than 36 hours without sleep, I wasn't coping well with the contractions. I was fighting them and fearing the next one. I asked my nurse if there were any options before the epidural. She suggested a small dose of stadol. It was the right decision for me. Within 45 minutes, I was 9.5 cm dilated.
The entire labor, the nurse had been telling me that I needed to let her know when I felt the need to push. I had read a lot about that moment - about how it would be relief to push, and that the desire to do so would be almost unstoppable. Maybe it's because he was so low - he was practically crowning when I was able to do my first real push - but there is no force I've ever felt as uncontrollable as the urge to bear down. My husband says the noises I made were primal, and he's not wrong. Henry was born on his due date in three pushes - head, shoulders and body. My placenta pretty much just rocketed out after him. I tore - apparently the doctor tried to hold his head in to prevent that, but I was pretty much pushing without permission at that point - but I was out of bed within minutes of him finishing stitching and on a total high. I think the nurses didn't know what to do with me. I was totally self-sufficient, not in pain, and able to take care of myself and my baby right away. For anyone who is considering natural birth and is scared or uncertain or unsure where to start, I just want to say, try. It will be hard. Things probably won't go as you expect. But in the end you will be amazed at what you are capable of. I can't say what giving birth this way meant to me. I feel proud that I was able to do this for my son, who was born so serene and happy. I feel empowered, and in awe of my body and my baby. While there are things I wish had happened differently, it was my labor and I was connected through every moment of it. I will remember what it felt like to deliver my child for the rest of my life.
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Re: Henry's epi-free birth
Wedding 6.18.04 Cole 11.20.06 Gavin 3.31.08 Parker 07.15.10 Logan 04.03.12
Congrats! and Happy Birthday to your son!
How many hrs total were you in the hospital?
Thanks ladies. Although I didn't post a lot on NB while I was planning my labor, I read every birth story. It's unfortunate, but it seems like it can be hard to find support for a natural birth, which makes having this supportive space more important, I think.
PP, I labored in the hospital from about 8:30 p.m. to 4:35 a.m.
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