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Two Under 2
Anyone here with DH not home at night?
Hi Everyone I'm new here and Lo is almost 14 months and baby #2 is on it's way. DH is a Fire Fighter and is away for 24 hr shifts a few days a week and the days he has off he works another job during the day but is usually homew around 4-5. I know it's gonna be really tough but just wondering how you guys do it or if you have help?
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Re: Anyone here with DH not home at night?
My husband is in the miltary and has been gone quite a bit since our son was born (my DD and DS are 16 months apart). DH leaves for a 7 month deployment in May.
I don't have a lot of help because we don't live where our families do. I do have a babysitter that comes once per week right now so that I can get errands run in an efficient, baby free manner (and occasionally get a pedicure - haha). Once my husband leaves for his deployment I will increase it to 2x per week. My mom will be coming to live with us for the summer (she is a teacher) and then my DD will start a 2 days per week preschool in the fall. I will also have someone clean our home every other week (for the deep cleaning, bathrooms, etc).
It is doable. Lots of women have kids and no husband around to help them. I think the most important thing to have is a can-do attitude. If you think positively, keep yourself fairly organized, and realize that there will be good days and bad - you will be fine. I find that when I got the "woe is me, I wish I had xyz that so and so has" that I get sad and frustrated over things that usually wouldn't bother me.
You will be fine. 2u2 is very challenging, but it is wonderful. And lots of amazing moms have done it before you and will do it after you
. I find that when I am alone and DH is unavailable is when I realize how strong I really am. It is easy to be the damsel in distress when you have someone to swoop in - but when you are going it alone it forces you to just pick yourself up by your bootstraps and do it.
I plan on blogging my deployment experience with 2u2. If I do, I'll make sure to post it in my siggy so other's can read about my adventures. haha.
Our family blog
DH is finishing up school right now and works. So he is usually either at school or work all day and night. The boys are 21 months apart.
You just make it work somehow! You will be very busy but you just manage it somehow. Get a baby carrier (I use the Moby and Babyhawk) and come up with some sort of routine. I don't really have a lot of good advice other than don't worry about it too much, when the time comes you will just figure it out. It gets much easier I would say around 9 months. Good luck!
It is scary. It is still scary for me some days. But you'll do great!
My FI works nights, two nights on two nights off. He works in armed security.
Right now, I'm pregnant with my second and have a 4.5 month old. It's a little challenging because I'm so tired and DD's bed time is at 9:30pm.. then I have cleaning up and laundry to do before I go to bed and I have to get up at 4:30am to get ready for me to go to my part time job.
But so far I'm just living day to day.. sure I don't get everything done in a day but you make it by
I'm not sure how I'll manage with getting up with 2 babies and then getting up for work.. but some how I'm sure I'll do. I guess the best advice I've gotten is that you only need to focus on what has to be done and worry about the cleaning/laundry/ect later.
You'll manage!
A little late here BUT, my DH is a fire/medic as well.
He is gone 24 hours, off 48. He started this job when DS#1 was 3 months old.
I don't have help and we don't have a second car. So when he's at work, me and the boys stay home all day.
One thing I remember reading when I found out I was pg with DS#2 that has really helped is that when both are upset, try to deal with the toddler first, as they usually have a need that will take a minute to satisfy, where-as the baby will take 15+ minutes. (ie: both crying because they are hungry, get the toddler his/her food and drink, then tend to baby)
It's hard but it works. At bedtime figure out what's easier. At the beginning it was easier to put DS#1 to bed while DS#2 was safe somewhere (swing, bouncy seat, floor, etc). But now, DS#1 will lay in bed with me while I nurse DS#2 to sleep, or he will sit on my lap or plays quietly (reading a book) while I rock DS#2 to sleep. After DS#2 is asleep I play with DS#1 for just a little bit and then he goes to bed. That way we have our time still. If it is a rough night, I will tuck DS#1 into bed and then deal with DS#2 to get him to bed.
Pretty much, I just go with the flow and change thing up if I need to! lol
Dh works offshore for 21 days and the is home for 21 days. Its hard, especially when he has to go away for a wk long class during his time off. We try and go with him if we can. The hardest part is seeing my older child confused and wondering where daddy is. We talk to him on the phone everyday, but on the rig they dont allow facetime anymore so we can't see him. =(
I do agree with Sweetheart. When you have the right attitude it helps. I am in one if those debbie downer moods since DH leaves sunday for a class and just got home after 28 days away...but I need to be more positive. Thanks for the post Sweetheart, it helped me get back on track
PP-you'll be fine. You'll get into a groove, expect hard days and nights, but know the joy of having two kids far outweighs the struggles.
Yes, my DH is a police officer and gone 3-4 nights a week.
Bath/bedtime is rough, plus after they go to bed, there is laundry, cleaning, etc.
Those days are tough, but do-able if you have the routine down.