I feel like i'm losing hope...
princess101
member
I feel like my VBAC hopes are fading away. Had to go in for fluids on Wednesday due to a flu or food poisoning of some sort. I'm waiting on results from my liver bile acids from last week which still weren't back (not a good sign) that they did at my last doc appt.
While at the hospital they found protein in my urine which is another sign that I may have the Cholestasis that I had last time OR possibly preeclampsia. I was induced at the end of 35 weeks with my son due to Cholestasis. I was so hoping for the VBAC experience and I just feel like my body is letting me down again. I still need to talk to my doc and see how the protein levels go, but i'm not all that hopeful.
Anybody end up with an RCS and feel like they are content with their experience? I want to come to terms with a RCS but it's hard for me to feel like i'll miss out again.
Re: I feel like i'm losing hope...
I'm sorry princess. I hope it's not cholestasis or pre-e. Is induction an option for you at all?
Have you thought about a c/s birth plan, just in case? I'm planning to do that and my hope is that if I end up with a repeat, I can still feel like I have a voice in how the birth goes and make it a good experience.
I'm sorry you are feeling this way and I totally understand. When I went into VBAC mode for my second pregnancy, what was important for me to remind myself is that I was VBACing because it was the safest way to bring my child into the world. I knew that as soon as it became unsafe, I would have gladly agreed to the C/S for the safety of myself and baby.
What it sounds like here is that you might end up in a situation where the C/S IS the safest delivery option. Please don't feel bad about that. It is what a C/S is for. I agree with pp that you should come up with a C/S birth plan so, in the event this is the route you go, you will feel more in control and at peace.
I am hoping for the best for you and your baby!
I would love to see it!
I would too, actually. Would you be open to posting it here or PMing me?
I'd like to write two plans - one for vbac and one for repeat c/s.
Thanks!
I can totally relate! I feel like I'm starting to doubt my body's ability as I have a LO who is breech again and is pretty content there, as was DS.
All I can say is that I'm trying to do my best to look inside myself and discover why LO and I are on this journey together. Everyone has been telling me that if I try all this stuff to get her to turn and she doesn't, then there must be a reason. At first that made me angry - like what reason could there possibly be?! But I'm trying to take the perspective that we're on a journey together and whatever outcome we have will be the right one for us and prepare for the possibility to make a repeat c/s more fulfilling than last time. The benefit in having a repeat c/s, I think, is that you already know (likely) what you DON'T want, so you are better prepared to have a better experience.
I'm sorry you're facing this again. I'm not sure if this was helpful...I hope you have a more fulfilling experience than last time.
To my Health Care Providers: Thank you for taking the time to work with us and our birth plan. These are our preferences; and as this is a planned Cesarean birth we are looking forward to a positive birth experience. We want to participate in this birth to the fullest. We have listed our preferences below; your help in assisting us through this process is very much appreciated.
Environment
Please, no residents or students attending my birth.
I would like to have my husband with me at all times.
Anesthesia
No mind-altering drugs are to be administered without my expressed permission. It is important to me not to feel drugged or be unable to remember the events of the birth.
I would like the catheter put in after anesthesia is administered.
During the Procedure
I would like to see the baby immediately after birth if at all possible. If there is any way to place the baby on my chest, even for a few seconds, I would like this to happen.
With the exception of nurses/doctors I am to be the first person to hold the baby.
Newborn Procedures
We would like it if my husband remains with the baby at all times.
My baby is to be exclusively breastfed, do not offer my baby formula, pacifier, and artificial nipple or sugar water without my consent.
We would like it if the all routines and procedures could be performed in our presence.
Post-Op & Recovery
I would like to have contact with the baby as soon as it is possible in the delivery room.
I would like my husband to remain with me at all times during the recovery unless the baby is taken elsewhere. In this instance I would like for him to remain with the baby.
I wish to have the baby with me in recovery so that I can breastfeed.
We would like our baby to room in with us. I will have someone with me at all times to assist me with the baby in any way.
The only thing they didn't/couldn't do was place the baby on my chest right after birth because they said it could contaminate the sterile environment. They did hold him right over me as soon as they pulled him out, and he was in my arms in less than 5 minutes. My SIL was allowed in the operating room and given the opportunity to take pics of whatever she wanted which was pretty cool. (She's a nurse so I think that's a big part of why they agreed to it)
I breast fed as soon as we got into recovery and baby boy had his first bath in our room. It was such a positive experience and I would do it all over again. I'm thinking about a VBA2C for my next one, or at least trying to find someone that will at least support it just because I might want 2-3 more kids and I know the risks go up with each c/s. Just remember that you have so much more control when you have to plan your c/s, so if that's the only option you have (And I'll keep my fingers crossed that it's not!) then make the experience what you want it to be! Good luck