sex vent

jd101610 · March 2011

why can't i get into having sex?!?!? it's like my head wants to, but nothing else does...well maybe even my head doesn't since it doesn't seem to be sending "good vibrations" to my lady parts!!! it's like I need to give myself a pep talk...DH is soooo deprived in that department (literally like 3 times a month max!) help any suggestions???

katie4253 · March 2011

Yeah, it is terrible.

We haven't had sex in a couple months. I feel horrible, but the last time we did it was quite painful for me. Even with a lot of lube.

Honestly, I am going to make myself do it this weekend. I hope it isn't awful. But the guilt is making me feel really bad. People who said my libido would increase during 2nd tri lied. I think we've done it like 5 times since I got pregnant...

not good considering before I got pregnant we were at about 3-4 times a week.

amyc78741 · March 2011

yay- so I'm not the only one! I can't get into the mood at all. I've even found myself making excuses because it doesn't even sound good to me at all. I really feel bad for DH and I he keeps telling me how frustrated he is. Weird thing is that I'm perfectly happy not having sex. I too have to give myself a pep talk and feel as if I have to do it just to make him happy. I have a Dr. appointment Tuesday and thinking about talking to him about it. I feel like something is wrong with me because I can't get in the mood...

COMomma81 · March 2011

Personally, I don't think 3X a month is that deprived...but then again, I have no drive either and we've been married 6.5 years and we have a 2.5 year old that keeps our hands more than full... 3X/month sounds pretty average for me!

That said, it's normal. Some women become hornballs in the 2nd tri (I was with my first), others don't. Our hormones are all outta whack. My only suggestion is good foreplay...and some good lube.

MrsO_53 · March 2011

yeah, it's awful. My head really wants to, but it just isn't the same somehow. Poor DH. At least he's a good sport.

katiewhompus · March 2011

Poor H is definitely deprived over here as well. The last time we had sex was at 5 weeks and I don't see it changing any time soon. I have no libido at all and after my bleeding episodes during first tri I know I won't be able to mentally handle the spotting or cramping that often accompany pregnancy sex. It'll be worth it in the end though when we have a healthy baby in our arms (and a somewhat sane momma)

sharonstevens85 · March 2011

LOL, We didn't have sex from about 4 weeks pregnant- 5 months... then I woke up one morning and thought, *** I better do it! I chose the morning because I knew it wouldn't be anything "fancy"! I just haven't been in the mood this pregnancy, but with my first son we did it all the time up until the end...

EllenMA · March 2011

We average 2-4 times a month however the last month it has been only one time. My head and body want to... up until the point we are actually doing the whole forplay thing. At that point my mind starts to wander to very counter productive things! I feel bad but DH seems more than OK with it. I am looking forward to LO being on a regular sleep schedule and hopefully getting back to some kind of normal again. (Possible wishful thinking Embarrassed

)

xBoBox · March 2011

EllenMA:
We average 2-4 times a month however the last month it has been only one time. My head and body want to... up until the point we are actually doing the whole forplay thing. At that point my mind starts to wander to very counter productive things! I feel bad but DH seems more than OK with it. I am looking forward to LO being on a regular sleep schedule and hopefully getting back to some kind of normal again. (Possible wishful thinking )

This. 2-4 times a month. We do "other stuff" quite often though to keep DH sane. It's just so uncomfortable.

ssull1974 · March 2011

If he complains you can always let him know that it could be worse. I have been placed on pelvic rest, which means my DH has gone from several times per week to no sex for the next 4 to 4 1/2 months! As for advice, sometimes it is one of those things that you need to practice and the more you practice the easier it will become. If you need a pep talk, so be it.

ohdrama09 · March 2011

MH is deprived as well. I'm the same way...I like WANT to but I just can't get into.

Fineleo31 · March 2011

Me too. I was really looking forward to the 2nd tri burst in libido, but other than a couple of really good dreams, I got nothing. I can usually get into it enough to do the deed like once a month, but it's hard to keep my mind from wandering from the baby to just about anything else. My husband's going out of town for work for a few weeks, so it's nice to not feel the pressure. He's managing and not putting any pressure on, but it's still hard to not feel guilty.

JennV514 · March 2011

Yeah...I haven't had sex in 4 months. I too went from 3-4x a week to zilch. I literally have zero sex drive. The thought actually turns my stomach. Terrible, I know, but I'm not going to beat myself up about about it. DH's ok with it, and hopefully at some point I want to do it again.

HappyKlamb10 · March 2011

ditto this whole post. i had a good cry about it tonight because i've just been feeling so freaking guilty about it.

MommySteph2009 · March 2011

I was like that with DS # 1, this time is better, but I have less stress going on. I still have to kind of talk myself into it, by trying to look sexy, well groomed (the best I can manage at this point)

MommySteph2009 · March 2011

COMomma81:
Personally, I don't think 3X a month is that deprived...but then again, I have no drive either and we've been married 6.5 years and we have a 2.5 year old that keeps our hands more than full... 3X/month sounds pretty average for me!

I agree, it's hard with a toddler and being pregnant, talk about tired : (

aligator423uf · March 2011

I recommend lots of foreplay and toys Big Smile

I like adamandeve.com, they're pretty discreet. We also end up having lots of shower sex because A) it's more comfortable for me and

it keeps DH happy. Doesn't do anything for me, but keeps him happy.

ksulli · March 2011

I'm on the other end- dying for it, but since we miscarried last time we were too scared all first tri, and DH has kept turning me down b/c he can't shake a cold and doesn't want to cough/sneeze on me. Honestly, at this point, I'd take it! We had sex on new years and that's it since the BFP. I'm afraid we might make a whole year between the cold, the me getting too big for it to physically work, and then post pardum... Makes me sad.

JessandIgli · March 2011

Yeah we are averaging 3 times a month as well. Once we start, I get into it..but it's the starting it that's the problem. I'm always so tired or just don't feel like it. Luckily, DH hasn't really complained because his busy work schedule (60 hrs per week) often leaves him tired too. I wish I was in the mood for it more though.

starsjaime · March 2011

Same thing, we used to average 3 times a month. Since becoming pregnant, i believe we have had sex about 4-5 times (one was just a little bit ago in the shower) and all those times I forced myself into it. We just had sex in the shower, and I must say, it hurts a little and it was awful

At least i'm "in the clear" from feeling guilty for another 4-5 weeks again!

Super glad i'm not the only one....One of my friends said she wanted it more then ever when she was pregnant....but i really find that hard to believe.

ohashlet · March 2011

Basically I'd like to, but the energy it requires is just too much for me.

coachg · March 2011

jd101610:
why can't i get into having sex?!?!? it's like my head wants to, but nothing else does...well maybe even my head doesn't since it doesn't seem to be sending "good vibrations" to my lady parts!!! it's like I need to give myself a pep talk...DH is soooo deprived in that department (literally like 3 times a month max!) help any suggestions???

3 times a month is nice! We maybe do it once a month! Last week was probably the last time in this PG. I was so uncomfortable and it felt like it was taking an eternity, so he suggested we just do "other things" until after baby is here. I'll take it!

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