What is your take on screaming babies in restaurants

karagirly · March 2011

From both angles....If you have a child that screams and carrys on alot would you bring them to a restaurant with your family or do you feel its rude for surrounding people? My 4 yr old has gotten used to Sat morning breakfasts and Sunday night dinners in public restaurants...When our second child reached 1 years old it got tougher. She screams (very high pitched) and everyone stares and looks. She carrys on alot. Would you be offended sitting next to a screaming 1 yr old? Would you keep the family home and order in instead? My others daughter wants to continue going as it became a special thing to her and now we feel terrible cause we feel its just too much.

Que*Syrah · March 2011

I don't have a problem with loud kids. I do have a problem when the child is screaming due to being ignored. when DS starts to act up, we take him outside until he calms down.

If your child is talking, laughing, etc, and you are engaging them, then they're just being kids. But I have to be honest that I would side eye you if your kid screamed through a meal. It's just annoying.

leslie13510 · March 2011

Assuming it's a family restaurant, if it's just a kid talking and laughing loudly, and even occasionally doing the high pitched shrieking thing, then NBD. If it's a kid acting out during the entire meal, screaming repeatedly, or throwing food all over the place, and just generally misbehaving, AND the parents aren't doing much about it (whether they actually leave, or take the kid out to the car or bathroom for a while, etc), then yes I get incredibly annoyed.

And both of my kids have gone through those phases, so I understand being that parent. After about 12-14 months old, they got 2 warnings for acting out during a meal (screaming, purposefully throwing food or crayons, etc), and the third time we left, no exceptions. If that meant we had to have our food brought in boxes, or not even order at all, so be it. I will say that once I started doing that they seemed to learn pretty fast, and after a couple of weeks of it, it was very very rare that we had to leave a restaurant.

If I were you, I would keep trying, because if you don't expose your 1 year old to the situation, she'll never learn. Maybe keep it to one meal out a week for a while, and if you have to leave early because of the 1 year old, make sure your 4 year old either gets some special treat at home or maybe even a special Mommy/Daddy and me meal out the next day all by herself.

gumiberg · March 2011

i'm against screaming kids in resturants. i have two, i take them out to eat regularly, so believe me - i get it. but i dont want everyone around me to not enjoy my meal at my expense...that is not fair.

now, i am interpreting screaming as literally screaming. i am OK with kids being kids in kid-friendly resturants. i dont think kids need to be mute...i like taking my kids to places that have outdoor patios because then they can also walk around.

but screaming is so hard on the ears. it can really ruin a meal.

nealbl · March 2011

WE try to pick family friendly places. Like Applebees or any other place that is noisy.

1 the noise is interesting and distracts LO

2 if she gets fussy it kinda blends in

However we were at Ruby Tuesdays and she had a melt down. I got up and took her outside until I could get her calmed down. Being loud and noisy and acting like a toddler is one thing but when she is throwing a fit or crying I don't think others should ahve to listen to it.

rayandbrit · March 2011

I know our amount of eating out has gotten cut back a lot just because it's hard to really enjoy a meal. DD normally gets fussy pretty quickly, so one of us spends the whole time trying to feed her, entertain her, walk around with her, etc. Most of our sit down dinners end with just one of us sitting down. I feel it's important to still put her in these types of situations because she needs to learn appropriate behavior, but more often than not dinner at home just sounds so much easier. As others said, it really depends on the type of restaurant too. I am much less concerned with her behavior if we are in a casual/faster paced setting (i.e. a little BBQ shack we went to today).

I will say that I have a much higher tolerance for other people's fussy children now than I did pre-baby. Whether it's at a restaurant, airplane, whatever. I feel for the parents b/c I've been there. I think most people who have/had kids feel the same. That being said, it seems like there's always some person who cringes the second they see you and your child coming, even if the baby is all smiles.

good luck!

homebird · March 2011

I don't think loud children should be allowed in restaurants, no matter what kind of restaurant it is. It's rude. Now, an occasional outburst (like a squeal or whatever) doesn't bother me. It's when the kid is constantly crying, screaming, yelling, etc.

When E starts getting fussy or noisy I take her out for a few minutes to calm her down. If she keeps it up, we ask for the check and leave.

12bailey18 · March 2011

gumiberg:

i'm against screaming kids in resturants. i have two, i take them out to eat regularly, so believe me - i get it. but i dont want everyone around me to not enjoy my meal at my expense...that is not fair.

now, i am interpreting screaming as literally screaming. i am OK with kids being kids in kid-friendly resturants. i dont think kids need to be mute...i like taking my kids to places that have outdoor patios because then they can also walk around.

but screaming is so hard on the ears. it can really ruin a meal.

I agree 100% with this. It's not fair to the other people trying to enjoy their meal.

rayandbrit · March 2011

12bailey18:
gumiberg:

i'm against screaming kids in resturants. i have two, i take them out to eat regularly, so believe me - i get it. but i dont want everyone around me to not enjoy my meal at my expense...that is not fair.
now, i am interpreting screaming as literally screaming. i am OK with kids being kids in kid-friendly resturants. i dont think kids need to be mute...i like taking my kids to places that have outdoor patios because then they can also walk around.
but screaming is so hard on the ears. it can really ruin a meal.
I agree 100% with this. It's not fair to the other people trying to enjoy their meal.

I would agree.. I was thinking fussy, which is a little whining here and there, or just wanting to get out of their seat. Full on tantrum/screaming needs to be handled (meaning take them outside, or for a walk around the restaurant or something). I know I wouldn't be able to enjoy any meal with my daughter sitting there screaming, so I can be pretty certain that no one else would be enjoying it either.

Art Teacher · March 2011

Yes, I would be very offended if someone continued to sit next to me as their child screamed and screamed. I don't go out to dinner to listen to babies (or anyone,for that matter) scream during my meal. If a baby gets upset and quiets down easily/quickly, that's fine. But if it continues, I get really frustrated with those parents -- It's not the child's fault that they are still sitting there.

Our daughter used to be great in restaurants all the time. Now it's hit or miss. We tried going out about 3 weeks ago and she decided to start screaming. She wasn't upset or anything; she just decided to start yelling. I asked her to stop, gave her crayons, gave her food, etc. She would stop for a few minutes but then she started up again. The behavior wasn't going to stop, so I packed her things up and went to the car with her. DH got our food to go and met me at the car.

It's important to teach our kids how to behave when we're out, but I'm not going to ruin other people's nights out because my daughter is crying or screaming.

In your case, one of you could stay home with the youngest and one of you could take the 4 year old to breakfast/dinner.

AutumnBride929 · March 2011

I would only be offended sitting next to a screaming one year old at a restaurant if the parents were doing nothing. If DS gets fussy in a restaurant, we do everything we can to entertain him, and if it's towards the end of the meal and we are finished eating, one of us will go ahead and take him out to the car while the other waits for the bill.

Personally, if mine carried on and on and was REALLY terrible, it would probably cause me too much anxiety to even try going out. I'd definitely order in instead. Hopefully it's just a phase that passes soon.

Temp159135562506975 · March 2011

a screaming child when parents are doing nothing to soothe = rude as sh!t.

I never take my kids to a restaurant without knowing that we MIGHT have to pick up and leave at any given minute.

it's not the same as being in a store... people are sitting there paying good money to enjoy their dinner- they don't deserve to hear my kid crying the whole time.

if one of my kids won't stop crying- we go home. It has happened 2x's in 4 years... but we are always prepared for it to happen.

diana.filipi · March 2011

I have a problem with screaming children. Actually, that's not true. I have a problem with parents of screaming children who ignore the child and let it continue. It's really, really rude.

lynsef · March 2011

If its at a casual restaurant and the child is just being loud that's one thing. But if the child is screaming and throwing a fit and the parents just sit there it bothers me. Luckily DD has never thrown a fit in a restaurant, but if she was carrying on I would have to get up and take her to outside or at least to the waiting area until she calmed down.

SethandSara · March 2011

I think if your older child enjoys going out to eat, you should keep going! Maybe not every week, and maybe not with your younger one. Could you take her every other week alone? Get a sitter for your younger one and enjoy the special time with your older one. She'll probably enjoy that attention, and it'll be a nice little break for you. If I were in a restaurant, I would be really irritated if someone's baby kept screaming and they didn't leave. I don't go out to eat often and when I do, I enjoy the conversation with the people I'm with. I hope that doesn't sound awful! LOL just trying to be honest. Maybe when she's older she'll like it a little better! Sometimes my son gets really fussy in restaurants (although he's never had a fit or temper tantrum--he just fusses because he doesn't like to be confined to a high chair! Does it at home too!) . When this happens I have to get him out of the seat and put him on my lap. That generally helps, but if it doesn't, we know I have to go to the car while my husband flags down the waitress to get doggie bags and pay the bill!

SethandSara · March 2011

BTW, typical baby chatter, laughing, giggling, excitement, talking, etc, is perfectly fine with me! The screaming, temper tantrums, and crying is when the parents need to high tail it out the door. Too many parents don't pay attention to people around them. That baby is obviously miserable, and she/he's making everyone else miserable, too! Lol

diana.filipi · March 2011

SethandSara:
I think if your older child enjoys going out to eat, you should keep going! Maybe not every week, and maybe not with your younger one. Could you take her every other week alone? Get a sitter for your younger one and enjoy the special time with your older one. She'll probably enjoy that attention, and it'll be a nice little break for you. If I were in a restaurant, I would be really irritated if someone's baby kept screaming and they didn't leave. I don't go out to eat often and when I do, I enjoy the conversation with the people I'm with. I hope that doesn't sound awful! LOL just trying to be honest. Maybe when she's older she'll like it a little better! Sometimes my son gets really fussy in restaurants (although he's never had a fit or temper tantrum--he just fusses because he doesn't like to be confined to a high chair! Does it at home too!) . When this happens I have to get him out of the seat and put him on my lap. That generally helps, but if it doesn't, we know I have to go to the car while my husband flags down the waitress to get doggie bags and pay the bill!

Good ideas and I totally agree. A chatting, laughing, babbling baby is great. A screaming, crying, temper-tantrum throwing baby IS NOT. It costs money to go out and lots of folks, like us, only get to do it every once in awhile. We go to kid friendly places but we would still like to have the chance to talk to each other, we'd still like our DD to not get upset because another kid is crying with no one caring about it. It's our 1-2 times a month chance to go out to eat and if our kid was throwing a fit we'd respect you and one of us would take them outside or something.

bbowie · March 2011

I always bring the screamer outside or walk them around. I think it's rude to just let them scream away. Sorry.

Oh, I should mention I'm not the only adult. We have an older son and DH stays with him or vice versa.

Jessys_Girl · March 2011

DD has been getting more "vocal" out in public and I really enjoy going out to eat, so I don't want to stop. But what we've done is start choosing restaurants that 1) are loud/family oriented restaurants to begin with and/or 2) have pretty fast service.

erino&chrish · March 2011

We go out to eat all the time. Most of the time LO is well behaved, sometimes he isn't. When he isn't one of us takes him to the bathroom or outside to cool down then brings him back to the table when he's in a better mood. He makes a mess a lot of the time so we just tip well and apologize. As for screaming kids in a restaurant, I try not to judge. It could be that the child is normally great and is throwing the parents for a loop. I probably wouldn't take my LO out to eat if he were normally bad or screaming for the sake of the other diners and for my own sanity.

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