Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
princess101
member
Re: I feel like i'm losing hope...
I'm sorry princess. I hope it's not cholestasis or pre-e. Is induction an option for you at all?
Have you thought about a c/s birth plan, just in case? I'm planning to do that and my hope is that if I end up with a repeat, I can still feel like I have a voice in how the birth goes and make it a good experience.
I'm sorry you are feeling this way and I totally understand. When I went into VBAC mode for my second pregnancy, what was important for me to remind myself is that I was VBACing because it was the safest way to bring my child into the world. I knew that as soon as it became unsafe, I would have gladly agreed to the C/S for the safety of myself and baby.
What it sounds like here is that you might end up in a situation where the C/S IS the safest delivery option. Please don't feel bad about that. It is what a C/S is for. I agree with pp that you should come up with a C/S birth plan so, in the event this is the route you go, you will feel more in control and at peace.
I am hoping for the best for you and your baby!
I would love to see it!
I would too, actually. Would you be open to posting it here or PMing me?
I'd like to write two plans - one for vbac and one for repeat c/s.
Thanks!
I can totally relate! I feel like I'm starting to doubt my body's ability as I have a LO who is breech again and is pretty content there, as was DS.
All I can say is that I'm trying to do my best to look inside myself and discover why LO and I are on this journey together. Everyone has been telling me that if I try all this stuff to get her to turn and she doesn't, then there must be a reason. At first that made me angry - like what reason could there possibly be?! But I'm trying to take the perspective that we're on a journey together and whatever outcome we have will be the right one for us and prepare for the possibility to make a repeat c/s more fulfilling than last time. The benefit in having a repeat c/s, I think, is that you already know (likely) what you DON'T want, so you are better prepared to have a better experience.
I'm sorry you're facing this again. I'm not sure if this was helpful...I hope you have a more fulfilling experience than last time.
To my Health Care Providers: Thank you for taking the time to work with us and our birth plan. These are our preferences; and as this is a planned Cesarean birth we are looking forward to a positive birth experience. We want to participate in this birth to the fullest. We have listed our preferences below; your help in assisting us through this process is very much appreciated.
Environment
Please, no residents or students attending my birth.
I would like to have my husband with me at all times.
Anesthesia
No mind-altering drugs are to be administered without my expressed permission. It is important to me not to feel drugged or be unable to remember the events of the birth.
I would like the catheter put in after anesthesia is administered.
During the Procedure
I would like to see the baby immediately after birth if at all possible. If there is any way to place the baby on my chest, even for a few seconds, I would like this to happen.
With the exception of nurses/doctors I am to be the first person to hold the baby.
Newborn Procedures
We would like it if my husband remains with the baby at all times.
My baby is to be exclusively breastfed, do not offer my baby formula, pacifier, and artificial nipple or sugar water without my consent.
We would like it if the all routines and procedures could be performed in our presence.
Post-Op & Recovery
I would like to have contact with the baby as soon as it is possible in the delivery room.
I would like my husband to remain with me at all times during the recovery unless the baby is taken elsewhere. In this instance I would like for him to remain with the baby.
I wish to have the baby with me in recovery so that I can breastfeed.
We would like our baby to room in with us. I will have someone with me at all times to assist me with the baby in any way.
The only thing they didn't/couldn't do was place the baby on my chest right after birth because they said it could contaminate the sterile environment. They did hold him right over me as soon as they pulled him out, and he was in my arms in less than 5 minutes. My SIL was allowed in the operating room and given the opportunity to take pics of whatever she wanted which was pretty cool. (She's a nurse so I think that's a big part of why they agreed to it)
I breast fed as soon as we got into recovery and baby boy had his first bath in our room. It was such a positive experience and I would do it all over again. I'm thinking about a VBA2C for my next one, or at least trying to find someone that will at least support it just because I might want 2-3 more kids and I know the risks go up with each c/s. Just remember that you have so much more control when you have to plan your c/s, so if that's the only option you have (And I'll keep my fingers crossed that it's not!) then make the experience what you want it to be! Good luck