"My Unreasonable Mother" story of the day — The Bump
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"My Unreasonable Mother" story of the day

(Long.... as usual) 

So I haven't seen my grandmother in several months. I won't be able to go for Christmas, or in late November, when we usually go for her birthday, because my Dr. doesn't want me traveling that far after around Thanksgiving (although I'm telling my mom it's more like the 15th. what does she know?..hehe). So we'd decided I'm going to visit Grandma (she lives in Elizabeth City, about a 3 hour drive from here) next weekend. DH is staying home. I'd planned to drive on up there, spend the day with her, then drive back towards home, and stay with my aunt (about an hour away from G'ma--back towards home). Then I'd get up Sunday morning and come on home, with only a 2 hour drive back home. A very reasonable short weekend trip. And as bad as it sounds, I can "check Grandma off the list" for awhile.

Well my mom took it upon herself to rent a beach house that we usually rent in the fall for that same weekend. I figured maybe this year she'd realize we all have too much going on, and we just wouldn't do that trip this year. But know, we always go, and she can't handle change, so of course she assumed we'd surely go this year! She didn't bother telling everyone, or checking with people's schedule. She's all bent out of shape that I can't go, my aunt can't go, and my brother can't go. "But we always go"...and "it'll be so lonely without you there." Can you throw me a frickin bone here---this year is a little different, don't ya think? Let's try and be a little flexible. She can't stand the idea of me going to visit Grandma and her not being a part of it. So she made these plans for us:

Saturday morning, I'll drive the 2 hours drive to my aunt's house near Edenton.. Then we'll drive the one hour from her house to Elizabeth City and pick up Grandma. Then we'll drive more than an additional hour from E. City to Nags Head and spend the night there. On Sunday, we'll leave Nags Head, drive over an hour to drop grandma off at her house. Drive an hour back to my aunt's house to get my car (Oh, I forgot to mention, being pregnant apparently makes me incompetent, and unable to do all this driving, so she insisted that I stop at my aunt's and let her drive). Then drive two hours home. Yeah, this adds 2 hours onto each leg of this trip. So, almost 10 hours of driving, all for like a 24 hour visit. Just so she can have her way. She tried to say "Grandma really wants us all together" Uh... no, YOU want us all together. If you want that so bad, leave the beach for the day and come to grandma's, instead of making your sister and your pregnant daughter do all this extra driving just so you can have it like you want it.

Ugh. She's crazy. My aunt and don't plan to do this. And I'm sure it's not going to go over well, and is going to be a huge pout-fest. I've got to quit giving into her though. She can't handle not having control of everything. She's so damn manipulative. Ugh. Angry I'm sure my blood pressure's rising just thinking about it...

I can't imagine how she'll react when we tell her we're spending next Christmas Eve at our own house. Now that will be fun...



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Re: "My Unreasonable Mother" story of the day

  • I'd stick with your guns and say "Mom it is important for me to see Grandma since I can't make it at the normal time. I am sorry I didn't know about your plans, but I would rather spend the four hours with Grandma at her house than stuck in a car. ?You are welcome to come join us there if you like, but it doesn't make sense for the three of us to drive four hours in one day to just spend some time at the (COLD) beach."

    Ugh - I feel bad for you. ?I couldn't deal with that stuff.?

  • Yeah - I have one of those mothers too. It's crazy.

    Now that she has a grandchild, she insists on seeing him every holiday nearly. Example -- Halloween. She wants us to bring him to her house for trick-or-treating. Um, no. So instead she's going to come to our house so she can go t-o-t'ing with him in our neighborhood. He's not going to know if she wasn't there. Really. Holidays were hard when it was just DH and I, now it's worse. Argh!

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  • Good Lord. That is way too much driving and you won't even be able to enjoy your visit with your grandma. Stick to your guns and keep your plans.
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  • I agree, stick to your guns.  Might as well start now before Holly arrives!

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  • Yes, I agree, stick to your guns!  But I do sympathize, my mother is the same way.

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  • I've got one of those mother's too, I like to say that we have an "excellent long distance relationship"!  Stick to your guns, you'll be glad you did in the long run! 
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