lilmommalcw- You didn't need to DD

Starbuck5 · March 2011

Your previous posts about your ex paint a completely different picture than the one that you just described in your most recent post (before you deleted for no reason).

We are here to help you, but your posts have been confusing as now you are implying your ex is a stand-up guy....

I'm leaving it at that. I have no more advice.

achase123 · March 2011

::shrugs shoulders::

I still stand by the advice I gave, I don't think he should be allowed overnights or unsup. visits until he is proven to be clean. A drug addict/criminal father could potentially be dangerous.

haleyw458 · March 2011

I agree. Plus it's pretty hard to believe he had to go to jail for drug charges from "3 YEARS ago" just because he didn't call in 3 mornings or show up on time. I think someone is a little naive.

lilmommalcw · March 2011

Well unless you know drug court, you really wouldn't understand. They can add on the time that you serve in drug court at any time, for any reason. For him it was simply because the judge wanted to have him take more Cognitive Behavioral Therapy classes. Well this all added up to 3 years worth of time. If you complete drug court, the original crime is taken off your record. If you fail/get kicked out of it then you go to jail & get sentenced for your original crime. My ex's alarm didn't go off (he forgot to set it for 5:45am after the power went out) & therefore he overslept & missed his drug test. The other 2 he missed while I was together & living with him for different stupid reasons. They only allow you to not show up 3 times then they kick you out. So by the time he gets out & resumes 50% custody of our son (4 years after his original crime) he will have had 4 years of recovery classes & therapy & AA.

achase123 · March 2011

lilmommalcw:
Well unless you know drug court, you really wouldn't understand. They can add on the time that you serve in drug court at any time, for any reason. For him it was simply because the judge wanted to have him take more Cognitive Behavioral Therapy classes. Well this all added up to 3 years worth of time. If you complete drug court, the original crime is taken off your record. If you fail/get kicked out of it then you go to jail & get sentenced for your original crime. My ex's alarm didn't go off (he forgot to set it for 5:45am after the power went out) & therefore he overslept & missed his drug test. The other 2 he missed while I was together & living with him for different stupid reasons. They only allow you to not show up 3 times then they kick you out. So by the time he gets out & resumes 50% custody of our son (4 years after his original crime) he will have had 4 years of recovery classes & therapy & AA.

Really, he missed drug court THREE times for "stupid reasons" and you are buying that?

Here's a thought, read the book "Codependent No More" and look into al-anon. You are doing your child no favors by listening to your ex's excuses and enabling his behavior.

lilmommalcw · March 2011

He didn't "miss drug court". He missed UA's. I was with him 2 of 3 times & the other he was with my brother. I know why he missed them & it sucks but it is human error. Just because he doesn't know how to set a damn alarm clock, had car trouble, & didn't hear his alarm does not make him a bad person or father. If I were to keep my son from his dad based on this reason I would be a bad mother for not allowing my sons amazing dad in his life.

achase123 · March 2011

lilmommalcw:

He didn't "miss drug court". He missed UA's. I was with him 2 of 3 times & the other he was with my brother. I know why he missed them & it sucks but it is human error. Just because he doesn't know how to set a damn alarm clock, had car trouble, & didn't hear his alarm does not make him a bad person or father. If I were to keep my son from his dad based on this reason I would be a bad mother for not allowing my sons amazing dad in his life.

What is so "amazing" about him? Just curious?

lilmommalcw · March 2011

Honestly he is just a great dad. He takes our son camping, rock climbing, golfing, to movies & lots of other fun things. He always spends time with him during the days he has him. He has never been a "dead beat" dad in any way. He always provides him with the things he needs. He cooks him 3 meals a day. He teaches him to love God. He just is.

fauxshelley · March 2011

Where is Patti when we need her?

If your ex is sooooooo awesome, why aren't you with him?

Unknown · March 2011

This content has been removed.

Soontobemrspaulding · March 2011

I am not a single parent and honestly I don't really deserve to pipe in EXCEPT my DH is a recovering addict. He has had 10 years of sobriety and I can tell you RIGHT now that he would NEVER miss a drug test if it meant going to jail. Especially not 3 times...once is understandable but 3 times is a lot considering what was at stake.

achase123 · March 2011

Soontobemrspaulding:
I am not a single parent and honestly I don't really deserve to pipe in EXCEPT my DH is a recovering addict. He has had 10 years of sobriety and I can tell you RIGHT now that he would NEVER miss a drug test if it meant going to jail. Especially not 3 times...once is understandable but 3 times is a lot considering what was at stake.

Right. One time MAYBE I could buy that (even though you'd think he would've set three alarm clocks along with his cell phone). But three? Ridiculous.

Hate to compare but he sounds entirely too much like my XH and every other addict I've ever encountered.

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