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Need some security item ideas...longish

sapphire angelsapphire angel member
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

I posted awhile ago about some behavior issues I was having with LO and after meeting with our Early Childhood Intervention case worker, I now have some ideas to go forward with. Our case worker believes that LO may be acting out at home because she does not feel safe enough to do so at daycare which is where she is the most frustrated (I'm working on figuring out what the frustration is...). It's a reasonable idea considering almost 90% of the episodes occur on weeknights within an hour of getting home. So three things were suggested:

1) Security item signaling time to go to daycare so she is more prepared than just showing up at daycare

2) Security item signaling time to go home (recommended to be different from above item) so she knows that whatever was wrong at daycare is over with for now.

3) Mommy and LO together time immediately after getting home. Last night we read a short book and LO actually sat on my lap for most of it, about 8 pages out of 10. So I think this shows some promise considering she rarely sits on my lap for more than a page or two. Other suggestions are welcome: I'll probably read something new every evening for as long as she wants until she gets bored with the books...

I am also going to start sign language with her. Maybe if she feels like she can communicate with me easily and successfully it will help this situation also. 

The main problems though: LO has NEVER been attached to any kind of security item. No blankie, no stuffed animal, no favorite toy, no pacifier, no teether, no special cup or bottle, nothing. We have a seahorse that is only used to signal bedtime and it has gotten to the point that LO will not go to sleep without it, but as soon as I hand it to her she will lay down like going to sleep. So the seahorse is out because I don't want to confuse her and mess up  the bedtime routine. What else could we use?

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Re: Need some security item ideas...longish

  • amy_rskiamy_rski

    Oh that's a tough one.  We have nightmarish nights on daycare days too.  DS is just so tired and overstimulated that when he gets home he is just miserable.  He won't let me put him down, so I try to snuggle with him, read books, etc. while DH makes dinner.  Sometimes it works and other times it doesn't.

    If you want to try a security item, maybe another type of stuffed animal?  Or just a different routine for going to daycare versus staying home for the day?  On daycare mornings I talk all about going to play with his friends and see his teachers and I think he understands what we're going to do.

    Do you think switching daycares might help?

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  • sapphire angelsapphire angel member

    We should be switching rooms next week and I am hoping things will be better there. I think there is one teacher in particular that LO does not like/get along with. If this teacher is there during drop off (she is if I'm running really late) then LO starts crying before I even set her down in the room. Other days during drop-off, LO and I have a happy routine of waving bye through the window then again when I reach the corner before going out of sight. I am hoping that with the room change, we find this was the problem and have it eliminated.

     I do talk to her about going to see Mrs. R (the teacher she adores) and about getting to play with her best friend (the two are really inseparable during the day) and seeing all the other teachers she likes and about which toy she is going to play with first, etc...I guess this isn't enough to make her completely realize she is going to daycare rather than just any other outing. I talk to LO constantly because it's just the two of us so if I don't talk to her, who will? Maybe I am so chatty she ignores half of what I say now...

    LO could also be overly bored at daycare, she and one other girl have been held back in the 6-12 month room when there is space in the 12-18 month room. The director is still trying to give me a plausible reason for this and I have said that by April 1st my daughter will be in the next room or I need a really good reason not to just leave this daycare and file a complaint (and I listed ALL the complaint I could file with the state licensing right now).

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