How well do you get along with your ILs? Clicky Poll!

TrendyTina · March 2011

I've been dealing with more annoying IL drama and I want to know if I'm the only one! How well do you get along with your ILs and how often do you see them? [Poll]

blindvictory · March 2011

Kind of different for me, because I get along GREAT with my FIL, but not so well with my MIL. He's a wonderful, kind, sweet man, but my MIL is bossy and intrusive and opinionated and rude.

CarolinaGirl82 · March 2011

blindvictory:
Kind of different for me, because I get along GREAT with my FIL, but not so well with my MIL. He's a wonderful, kind, sweet man, but my MIL is bossy and intrusive and opinionated and rude.

Um, stop living my life.

pennyandandy · March 2011

Ugh. I chose the tolerate them one, but we have an interesting set up. My DH is the only child to a single mother (yeah, don't get me started). So she and I have our differences, as in she is BSC, but I love his grandma. She is like a 2nd mother to him and she is incredible.

They consider the aunts and uncles and grandmas "immediate family." And mine does not. Does anyone else have this problem? It makes scheduling stuff really difficult because EVERYONE has to come.

On the up side, it definitely could be worse. They are not mean or horrible people, just neurotic and unflexible.

brookelynpaisley · March 2011

I really like my MIL a lot, but she's a doormat. My FIL is an a-hole and always has been. We think he's got some bipolar disorder going on (but refuses to acknowledge it or see a doc), and has been very difficult and emotionally abusive DH's whole life. He also makes racist and other crass jokes. He just rubs me the wrong way entirely.

annerz22 · March 2011

It's mutual...IL's don't like me and I don't like them. Granted I don't like them because their reasons for not liking me are absurd (they have to do with SIL). DH isn't too fond of them either so that makes it a bit easier.

balihaigirl · March 2011

my ILs are fine... it kind of helps to live about 2k miles apart though.

Cynthia7461 · March 2011

pennyandandy:

Ugh. I chose the tolerate them one, but we have an interesting set up. My DH is the only child to a single mother (yeah, don't get me started). So she and I have our differences, as in she is BSC, but I love his grandma. She is like a 2nd mother to him and she is incredible.

They consider the aunts and uncles and grandmas "immediate family." And mine does not. Does anyone else have this problem? It makes scheduling stuff really difficult because EVERYONE has to come.

On the up side, it definitely could be worse. They are not mean or horrible people, just neurotic and unflexible.

In my family the aunts and cousins are considered immediate family. In my DH it is not but since I married him, his mother get upset because I have to invite my aunts and cosuins and we dont invite his. The reason is because they never invite us to thier stuff but MIL gets upset. (Trust me if it wounld't cause WWIII, I wouldn't invite my aunts and cousins)

TrendyTina · March 2011

annerz22:
It's mutual...IL's don't like me and I don't like them. Granted I don't like them because their reasons for not liking me are absurd (they have to do with SIL). DH isn't too fond of them either so that makes it a bit easier.

I have the EXACT same situation! It's so frustrating! Since I met DH I have gone out of my way to be the best SIL and DIL possible, but it's gotten me nowhere. I finally had to come to realization that they, for whatever reason, will never like me and I should put my time and energy toward something more productive. Glad to know I'm not the only one!

salt78 · March 2011

The first and second ones would apply to me. As in...I think they are SUPER GREAT! but I'm not needing to be around them or anyone else every 5 minutes.

TrendyTina · March 2011

balihaigirl:
my ILs are fine... it kind of helps to live about 2k miles apart though.

I'm jealous! Mine live about 1.5 miles away. Ughhh!

Dwinalsinlove · March 2011

MH parents are nuts. My MIL was awful to DH when he was growing up. She always picked men over him. Now when we go over she cries when we leave because she says she misses us. DH doesn't believe it one bit. Her actions while he was growing up speak louder then her words do in the present. Plus she has never acknowledged that she has done anything wrong.

My FIL hasn't been a part of MH life since he was 12. We found him and tried to build a relationship with him right before we got married but FIL never put any effort into the relationship so DH and I gave up.

TrendyTina · March 2011

salt78:
The first and second ones would apply to me. As in...I think they are SUPER GREAT! but I'm not needing to be around them or anyone else every 5 minutes.

Good point. I should have made it say something like. "Great! I love them and I love spending time with them!"

cheese.fiend · March 2011

I vacillate between 2 and 3... they really are nice people but my FIL is pretty stand-offish and my MIL is SO intrusive and jealous of our relationship with my parents. It helps that DH recognizes their faults (especially MIL's) b/c then I don't feel alone when they (she) is being ridiculous. If he were a mama's boy, I'm not sure we could have gotten married!

Bizzy98 · March 2011

I love my MIL and FIL! They are both so laid back and fun to be with. I do have issues with my SIL as she is the exact oppositve. Quite the drama queen and very self centered and is the baby in the family so has gotten away with it all these years.

Kashy · March 2011

love my IL's. Both DH's Mom and Step dad and Dad and Step Mom. They are all so great and they have always treated me as one of the family since the first time I met them, over 9 yaers ago. They live in a diff province so we do not get to see them as much as we would like though. My family fells the same towards DH as well. I love that we all get along so great.

annerz22 · March 2011

TrendyTina:

annerz22:
It's mutual...IL's don't like me and I don't like them. Granted I don't like them because their reasons for not liking me are absurd (they have to do with SIL). DH isn't too fond of them either so that makes it a bit easier.

I have the EXACT same situation! It's so frustrating! Since I met DH I have gone out of my way to be the best SIL and DIL possible, but it's gotten me nowhere. I finally had to come to realization that they, for whatever reason, will never like me and I should put my time and energy toward something more productive. Glad to know I'm not the only one!

Yeah it upset me for quite awhile, especially the way they were treating my DH. Finally I realized that there was nothing I can do so I need to stop wasting my energy. I am so so close to my family and my family adores my DH and he adores them. We focus on that relationship instead. It just sucks because IL's live 2 miles away and my fam is 700 miles away.

huskymomma94 · March 2011

I do not speak to my MIL at all. She almost didn't come to our wedding.

Summers02 · March 2011

My FIL is great, hes easy going and a nice guy. My MIL is a very nice, caring person in general but she drives me a little nuts a lot of the time. She can be very neurotic, repetitive, worrisome and overbearing. I know she means well, but I wish she would be more relaxed and just chill sometimes..

The problem is that they are 200+ miles away so we always have to see them for an entire weekend and that can be exhausting.

KellieJH · March 2011

My MIL always means well, but she wasn't a great mother from 13-18 (18 is when my H went into the Navy), so now she is trying too hard to be that mother she wasn't and smothers us! She really doesn't have boundaries, but she loves me so it could be worse. MIL's husband (not my H's dad), well he is an awful awful awful man! And when my H and I do have a baby, the only time he will see that child is when we are around, and if MIL wants to baby-sit, her husband will not be around!

SHUVUU · March 2011

For once I fit in the 'Special Snowflake' group. I am currently on my way to Columbus, OH for my SIL's wedding where I will meet FIL for the first time. MIL came for our wedding 2 yrs ago but left when we got back from our honeymoon and didn't spend any time with us. They will be going back to TX and staying with us for 3 weeks - I will be able to respond then : )

pennyandandy · March 2011

Summers02:

My FIL is great, hes easy going and a nice guy. My MIL is a very nice, caring person in general but she drives me a little nuts a lot of the time. She can be very neurotic, repetitive, worrisome and overbearing. I know she means well, but I wish she would be more relaxed and just chill sometimes..

The problem is that they are 200+ miles away so we always have to see them for an entire weekend and that can be exhausting.

This to a T with my MIL!!!

rxyb13 · March 2011

salt78:
The first and second ones would apply to me. As in...I think they are SUPER GREAT! but I'm not needing to be around them or anyone else every 5 minutes.

This! I am so fortunate to have such great ILs. They live 3 hours away, so it's great to visit and don't have to worry about seeing too much of each other.

pennyandandy · March 2011

Cynthia7461:
pennyandandy:

Ugh. I chose the tolerate them one, but we have an interesting set up. My DH is the only child to a single mother (yeah, don't get me started). So she and I have our differences, as in she is BSC, but I love his grandma. She is like a 2nd mother to him and she is incredible.

They consider the aunts and uncles and grandmas "immediate family." And mine does not. Does anyone else have this problem? It makes scheduling stuff really difficult because EVERYONE has to come.

On the up side, it definitely could be worse. They are not mean or horrible people, just neurotic and unflexible.

In my family the aunts and cousins are considered immediate family. In my DH it is not but since I married him, his mother get upset because I have to invite my aunts and cosuins and we dont invite his. The reason is because they never invite us to thier stuff but MIL gets upset. (Trust me if it wounld't cause WWIII, I wouldn't invite my aunts and cousins)

I don't get upset about it (and my parents totally don't-they are flexible and work with whatever we do) until they start trying to invite family members that "Just HAVE TO COME!" or that will be insulted if they don't get an invite when DH hasn't seen them for years, doesn't know them and/or doesn't care if they are there or not. It gets ridiculous. EVERY holiday is a big event, even Mother's Day, Father's Day, Labor Day, Memorial Day, and everything in between. It is so overwhelming.

bostonbluejay · March 2011

CarolinaGirl82:
blindvictory:
Kind of different for me, because I get along GREAT with my FIL, but not so well with my MIL. He's a wonderful, kind, sweet man, but my MIL is bossy and intrusive and opinionated and rude.
Um, stop living my life.

This!! Some moms are crazy possessive of their sons...

Cynthia7461 · March 2011

pennyandandy:
Cynthia7461:
pennyandandy:

Ugh. I chose the tolerate them one, but we have an interesting set up. My DH is the only child to a single mother (yeah, don't get me started). So she and I have our differences, as in she is BSC, but I love his grandma. She is like a 2nd mother to him and she is incredible.

They consider the aunts and uncles and grandmas "immediate family." And mine does not. Does anyone else have this problem? It makes scheduling stuff really difficult because EVERYONE has to come.

On the up side, it definitely could be worse. They are not mean or horrible people, just neurotic and unflexible.

In my family the aunts and cousins are considered immediate family. In my DH it is not but since I married him, his mother get upset because I have to invite my aunts and cosuins and we dont invite his. The reason is because they never invite us to thier stuff but MIL gets upset. (Trust me if it wounld't cause WWIII, I wouldn't invite my aunts and cousins)

I don't get upset about it (and my parents totally don't-they are flexible and work with whatever we do) until they start trying to invite family members that "Just HAVE TO COME!" or that will be insulted if they don't get an invite when DH hasn't seen them for years, doesn't know them and/or doesn't care if they are there or not. It gets ridiculous. EVERY holiday is a big event, even Mother's Day, Father's Day, Labor Day, Memorial Day, and everything in between. It is so overwhelming.

Thaksfully, our only big days our kids birthday, Thanksgiving and Xmas, otherwise I would lose it.

bwe1100 · March 2011

SHUVUU:
For once I fit in the 'Special Snowflake' group. I am currently on my way to Columbus, OH for my SIL's wedding where I will meet FIL for the first time. MIL came for our wedding 2 yrs ago but left when we got back from our honeymoon and didn't spend any time with us. They will be going back to TX and staying with us for 3 weeks - I will be able to respond then : )

Good luck! I feel lucky that my ILs really like me a lot, but their parenting style is so different from what I was raised with that they drive me up a wall. They mean well, but are incredibly overbearing - I swear, it's a wonder DH ever learned to do anything himself, his mom is so quick to take care of it for him. This summer while we were visiting them and MIL insisted on going with us to the bank just in case MH needed her (and her 33 year old son wouldn't just say no), I almost lost it.

HauntGirl23 · March 2011

I love my IL's! My DH has two moms... no dad... and they treat me better than my own parents do!

mrsfowler1016 · March 2011

I tolerate them. They are nice and sweet to me and my family and do whatever they can for us and I appreciate that. They are just extremely hypocritical and racist and I am nothing like that. My MIL told me the other day I shouldn't be watching Ellen because she is a gay sinner. Really MIL...really? My FIL tosses the N word around like it's nothing and continues to denounce liberals, communists, democrats, and anyone that isn't to his liking. It really bothers me. I just try to avoid it. My MIL calls us about 10 times a day and treats DH like he's a god. She still talks to his ex and has pictures of her hidden although DH has told her to stop. My older SIL is 31 and I love her to death. She's a great mother and a motivated,loving person. My younger SIL is 12 (she was an OOPS!) and she is disrespectful and spoiled. She talks to MIL like she's a maid and yells/cusses at her. She also Skypes with 20 year old men and texts boys in high school about the size of their "goodies". Kids these days...

blindvictory · March 2011

bostonbluejay:
CarolinaGirl82:

blindvictory:
Kind of different for me, because I get along GREAT with my FIL, but not so well with my MIL. He's a wonderful, kind, sweet man, but my MIL is bossy and intrusive and opinionated and rude.

Um, stop living my life.

This!! Some moms are crazy possessive of their sons...

Indeed. MH is the baby, and neither of his two older brothers are married. She FLIPPED when we got engaged, because we were "too young" (even though we were the same age that she was when SHE got married). Yet when DH's brother got engaged recently after dating the girl for 4 months, she was so excited. Part of the time she loves me to death...but part of the time, I think she views me as the woman who "stole her baby boy". (Note: DH is NOT a mama's boy, nor has he ever been. But I think she wants him to be.)

GraceInCA · March 2011

balihaigirl:
my ILs are fine... it kind of helps to live about 2k miles apart though.

Ditto. I love them, and I like spending time with them. But it helps that they live in another state.

melissa721 · March 2011

My MIL can be annoying but my ILs aren't terrible.

UnicornKisses · March 2011

Our families are split a little due to our differing political views....I try to stay out of it!

bostonbluejay · March 2011

blindvictory:
bostonbluejay:
CarolinaGirl82:

blindvictory:

Indeed. MH is the baby, and neither of his two older brothers are married. She FLIPPED when we got engaged, because we were "too young" (even though we were the same age that she was when SHE got married). Yet when DH's brother got engaged recently after dating the girl for 4 months, she was so excited. Part of the time she loves me to death...but part of the time, I think she views me as the woman who "stole her baby boy". (Note: DH is NOT a mama's boy, nor has he ever been. But I think she wants him to be.)

My DH used to be a mama's boy, but isn't anymore. He tries to have as little contact as possible. There's so much crazy there though that it would take a really really long post to explain it all.

buckeyebride22 · March 2011

blindvictory:
Kind of different for me, because I get along GREAT with my FIL, but not so well with my MIL. He's a wonderful, kind, sweet man, but my MIL is bossy and intrusive and opinionated and rude.

You just described my life! Love my FIL...but MIL is a bit much.

jaworski84 · March 2011

CarolinaGirl82:
blindvictory:
Kind of different for me, because I get along GREAT with my FIL, but not so well with my MIL. He's a wonderful, kind, sweet man, but my MIL is bossy and intrusive and opinionated and rude.
Um, stop living my life.

Amen. :0)

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