2nd DS dx with ASD

Lyn0206 · March 2011

Does anyone have 2 or more children with ASD? If so, how do you handle it?

Sobachka · March 2011

Lyn - I think someone asked and you responded to the same question back in January and got a lot of great responses. How are you doing? How is your DS#1?

Are you concerned about #2; how is his speech? Tell us more

Andrewsgal · March 2011

I have a really good friend who has two boys on who are diagnosed with ASD. I just spent a week with her and her boys to help with some behavior stuff, it is hard but they are amazing! Also in my teaching/behavior career I have had 4 families with siblings on the spectrum.

Lyn0206 · March 2011

DS#1 is doing really well. He's in preschool through are school system. He has made great gains. He loves to talk, however its not clear. The school speech therapist seems to think he has motor planning issues. Otherwise he's doing great.

We had DS#2 evaluated yesterday and he was dx with PPD-NOS as well. He is very content. Has no interest to speak. He only has about 6-7 words. His early intervention therapist feel he has apraxia. He doesn't initate play but will play when played with. He really doesn't have any behaviors that we're concerned with, just the expressive and receptive language.

I love my boys and will do anything for them. Some days I'm ok and can handle anything and then other days I get overwhelmed. I guess I find it hard when family members brag about their kids or grandkids about he can do this, he did this.. blah blah blah. I just want to say something to them nicely but shut them up in a way too.

I know I'm not alone, but just want to know how others handle it. I don't know about anyone else but this puts a strain on my marriage at times.

Thanks for listening,

bugmommy · March 2011

That would be me. My older DS has a dx of autism and the younger one's dx is PDD-NOS. How I handle it is, like you, largely dependent on the day. Some days I feel like I rock it - engaged play with no tantrums, encouraging speech and new self help skill, blah, blah. Other days I'm pretty convince I'm the most horrible mommy on the planet - not enough patience, too much tv, crap food, etc. What works for me better than anything is to just try to keep it in the middle. I don't have the energy to sustain supermom for more than a couple of days at a time without a crash and I think the crash is what's really bad. So I aim for pretty decent mom that does a couple of planned activities every day and try to reserve my strength for that moment I really need it (the horrible tantrum over pants or the huge mess created by my sensory seeker). My psychiatrist tells me that more than anything children need CALM parents that love them. In the past I've also done therapy and anxiety meds.

I have to run to pick up the kids, but if you have any specific questions or just need to talk please feel free to PM me or reply here and I'll check in later.

Lyn0206 · March 2011

what worries me is how to find the time to get all therapies in. I need to schedule therapies when my oldest son is in preschool. He is a distraction to my youngest son. I just don't know how to fit it in. I want my ds#2 to get all the services he can get and I just feel like I'm going to be burnt out.

Does anyone have a daily schedule that I can get an idea how to plan my day?

I just go with the flow now. I don't have much of a schedule.

Thanks

bugmommy · March 2011

Lyn0206:
what worries me is how to find the time to get all therapies in. I need to schedule therapies when my oldest son is in preschool. He is a distraction to my youngest son. I just don't know how to fit it in. I want my ds#2 to get all the services he can get and I just feel like I'm going to be burnt out.
O.K. I definitely understand your concern. How many hours of therapy do you plan on him getting and how many hours a week does your older DS go to preschool? What are their ages? In general I used to plan therapy for #2 when #1 was in school. This was made easier by the fact that DS#1 received therapy at school (services through the local school system, but he received them at a private preschool). We were only offered 2 hours a week of speech and 1 hour of OT for DS#2. I used to plan it so on Tuesdays we had speech and OT (about 1.5 hours apart) at home and the other speech session was on Thursday when he was in preschool. I used my sessions with the OT and SLP to figure out how to work on things with him. We then incorporate this stuff in everything, which after a time becomes second nature and not nearly as stressful as I found it in the beginning.
I liked grouping therapy on specific days so I had off days too, but it really depends on how hard this is for your little guy. It worked really well for us to do OT directly before speech because he got all the wiggles and was able to focus better. Until recently I had a rule that we didn't do therapy in the afternoon because my guys were too tired to really get anything after it. I actually do speech for #2 at home in the afternoon now with #1 home as well and let him use headphones and play on the computer at the kitchen bar. This is a special treat only when the SLP is there, so he's perfect the whole time. Another option is to hire a mother's helper to play with him in another part of the house.
In the afternoons we do very little pure therapy, but I do keep it pretty structured. Every afternoon I know in advance what we are going to do and prep everything that morning. Each afternoon we either do art, cooking, outside play, games, or an outing. I mix them up according to the weather. We talk about it that morning at breakfast and I obviously incorporate in all of the other stuff.
My state has crappy services which basically means I provide about 90% of what they learn with therapists acting like consultants most of the time to help me figure out how to break stuff down and problem solve. I hated it at first because I felt like I didn't know what the heck I was doing, but it has been effective.
Is that what you wanted to know or am I misunderstanding your question?

Does anyone have a daily schedule that I can get an idea how to plan my day?

I just go with the flow now. I don't have much of a schedule.

Thanks

mommyof4boys · March 2011

Our youngest has a dx of 16p11.2 duplication, PDD_NOS, apraxia. and intellectual delays. We are now in the process of looking into the same duplication and Asperger's for one of our 5 year olds.

Lyn0206 · March 2011

My kids are 2 and 4. My oldest is in preschool 5 days a week, but 2 are 1/2 days and 3 full days. I 'm currently working on getting my youngest son private ST and OT. I'm not sure what the schedule will be for that at this time. With Early intervention my little guy will be receiving up to 10hrs/wk. It makes it really hard b/c he naps in the afternoon. I really want to do all the therapies during school hrs. I may have to do some therapies with my oldest at home. Thank you for all the comments.

Sobachka · March 2011

I have just one kid, but working FT is hard when you have to mange all the therapies. I feel silly saying this - but I am very visual. I need to write this down.

So sine your DS#1 goes to school, start with him: write out his schedule and mark when he is out of the house. The see how you can use that time for DS#2.

Again, write all the options down - it will be clearer. You can do it in google calendar in 30 minute increments.

As for daily struggles with tantrums, behaviors, etc - I think we all have this. Even NT parents struggle. Meds, therapy , me-time, exercise, support groups - you need to find an outlet for you and focus on you. This is the hardest part.

Hugs to you!

Lyn0206 · March 2011

Thank you. I started to do that and figuring out how many hours I want my son to have therapy each day.

Again, Thank you all for your comments and suggestions.

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