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Two Under 2
are we the only parents that feel like we could lose it?
This is soooo freaking hard.
I don't even know where to begin! We never have a minute to ourselves. It's nearly impossible to get out of the house. And when we do, it's so much of a hassle that we might as well stay home and go crazy inside the house.
We have only one sitter so it's really difficult to get out just the two of us. In fact, we haven't been on a date or done more than run errands together cince before the new baby was born. And, I think we ran errands together just once.
To say the house is a disaster is an understatement.
I never have time or energy to make myself look nice. I feel like an ugly, frumpy mess. Not that it matters since I never leave the house anyway.
How on earth do people do this?!
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Re: are we the only parents that feel like we could lose it?
I've found that one of the keys for going out with the kids is to take a shower before dh leaves the house, then get the kids ready right when they wake up. I try to get the diaper bag ready, bottle and sippy cup made, and have everything by the door asap. I also made a spare bag for the car with formula, bottled water, a bottle, extra outfits for both and diapers and wipes. That way, I don't stress out if I forget something. another thing that has helped me a ton so far is my Baby Bjorn. I'm not an expert by any stretch of the imaginiation and i still talk myself out of going out more often than not, but I'm trying to take baby steps because it's not going to get any easier in the forseeable future.
We've had family watch our kids once and my mom and sister watch them together while I go to therapy once a week. My ILs rock....they live about 13 hours away, but are driving in next week and insist that dh and i go away for a night because we look so tired in the pictures that we send them. We haven't had a night away since my dd was born 22 months ago.
our kids are so close in age! funny!
I LOVE your idea of keeping a spare diaper bag in the car - that's a good one, and so obvious. Don't know why I didn't think of it.
I'll have to force myself to get up before the girls do. It's so hard b/c I'm so sleep deprived but if I can do that, it'll help our day a little.
I just asked my parents if they know of teenages from church to watch the girls here and there... maybe that will work out too.
Are you a SAHM? I'm going back to work next week and I'm half dreading it andhalf looking forward to it.
Our baby is actually really easy... well, as far as babies are concerned. Our toddler is the most challenging. She throws a tantrum every ten minutes or so. Never sits and never stops getting into our things. Typical toddler behavior. But so exhausting.
No, you're not the only parents that feel like this. It gets easier, trust me.
You're in survival mode right now. It takes me a year to get into a GOOD routine, not a decent routine, but a good routine. It also takes basically a year before any of my kids STTN. I do not function well being sleep deprived.
Do what you can, when you can. You'll settle into a groove soon enough.
GL!
DH and I feel like we're losing it pretty much all the time from M-F. 2u2 wasn't that bad before I went back to work, but holy crap has it been hard since I went back five weeks ago. I just got confirmation today that my request to go part-time has been approved, but not for another four weeks. I feel like I'll be in heaven when there will be just three days a week to get everyone up and ready. DH feels like he'll be in heaven on days when I can get dishes done during naps.
Really you just go through the motions until one day, things fall into place and you realize it's not so bad. That day will come for all of us. Hang in there!
Brayden (5 1/2) born 12.28.06
Hailey (4 1/2) born 2.25.08
Taylor (8 Months) born 12.26.11
The change from one to two was so hard! You are not alone!! We keep a packed diaper bag in the car as well, and I live by the mantra that there is always target, or walgreens, or walmart somewhere if we are out and forget something.
It was a good maybe 5-6 months before I felt like I was "getting it down" with two... and number three was on her way! hang in there, and try to find moments you enjoy! This goes so fast. Your house will be a mess, and you know what? Your kids will never remember!
I feel like this 98% of the time. As soon as I sit down to get a quiet moment to myself or with DH, one of them starts crying. It's like they know when you're trying to rest.
Having extra snacks, a clean sippy and extra diapers in the car helps a ton and I wouldn't survive without my Bjorn. DD#2 is kind of a fussy baby and the only way she is quiet while we're out is to carry her, but that of course makes it impossible to run after DD#1. Don't even get me started on the house or trying to remember the last time I felt cute. Ugh.
I don't know if this is possible for you, but we take everyone up on their offer to help, even if they were just doing it to be nice. Seriously, I don't have the pride to care anymore. If you're offering, I'm taking. I've had my parents and/or the in-laws here WAY more than I did with DD#1. It's the only way to get a break!
I'm kind of hanging on to the idea that it gets better eventually, but it doesn't really help in the here and now. Just be really grateful for the good days and do whatever you have to to get through the hard days. At least we're all in it together, right?
Ha ha they probably will, because toys + clothes x 2 (or 3) is a mess that lasts a lifetime. lol My parents had 3u3 and my 'rents never got back in the groove of keeping a super clean house. To this day, there's still toys etc laying around from the grandkids.
I was there. It gets SOOOOO much better. I had to force myself to go out - trust me, it's worth the effort. Wear the little one, and put the other in the cart. Errands became "dates" for DH and I early on, even if we had the kids. It was just nice to get out of the house.
Can your DH watch the kids so you can do some chores? Vis versa? It helps my frame of mind so much when the house is clean. Just this morning, I was so refreshed to be able to see the living room floor when I woke up before everyone else, lol.
You're right in the thick of the worst of it right now. Maybe even have your baby sitter come over and watch one of the kids while you take the other one out. Have your DH take care of the two of them while you take a nap or a quick bath. Order take out and relax (I know, bad choice of words) for the night.
I really felt like I was drowning at your point. I went back to my doctor and got a Rx for antidepressants. They made a HUGE difference almost immediately. I suddenly had quite a bit more energy and my patience stretched so much further. There were still rough times, but it really got me through those first four months or so.
**hugs** I promise, it'll get better soon.
I second the idea of getting up and getting dressed before everyone else on the days you want to get out of the house. I did this twice in the past week and it made a huge difference in how our day went--I was able to get both kids out of the house (once by myself!) and have a productive day overall becuase it started off right, instead of starting out with me in pajamas, the kids in pajamas and me scrambling to get everyone fed before their screaming drove me to tears! lol
I have loved 2u2 until now....NOW is when it is getting hard. The TT tantrums and both kids walking in opposite directions and BOTH getting into everything. It's exhausting and emotionally draining. Me staying at home was a big part of having kids...but boy, I think life would be so much easier if i worked....if nothing else but mentally!!!
Just once I'd love to walk into the house and not have it look like we just got robbed! Haha!!
It takes so long to get them ready to go somewhere...and they both don't nap anywhere but in their beds.
I could go on and on....but yeah, I feel like I could lose it most of the time
You aren't alone - although I have no advice. I've heard it gets easier with time...and school. 
My kids are a year and a half apart as well.
Wear the baby if you can. I used a bjorn but lots of moms use a Moby or similar. That will free up your hands to do almost everything. I remember shopping with my toddler in the cart and wearing the baby for months.
Your DH needs to step up in the housework department. Not that it truly matters, but for me a messy, unkept home just made me feel more frazzled.
It was months before my husband and I went on a 'date' after the second was born. We did continue with weekly dinners out as a family though. Something that we do still. It is something to look forward to and a night I didn't have to cook or clean.
Ask for help. People want to help, let. them.
It really does help so much to get ready before they get up. I do SAHM, but lately I've been so tempted to go back to work. I know I won't anytime soon, but damn it's hard being home with them all day long. I've noticed how close our kids are in age and i think I even mentioned it to you on ML one time!
The first six months with 2u2 was EXTREMELY hard. When the baby was three months old, I noticed that it got significantly easier, but it was still difficult. Now that the baby is eight months old, it is MUCH easier (but will still never be quite as easy as just one, obviously).
I remember thinking we must have been crazy to have a second baby, I never had a second to take a shower, I felt like the baby was so needy (and she was!) that I couldn't focus on anything else. Once she was six months, and started sitting up on her own, and became slightly more independent, it became easier. Also, around 7 months, I got her on more of an eating schedule, and she only takes four bottles a day now (as opposed to nursing around the clock like the first few months).
I know six months sounds like forever, but it kind of flew by, and now I *almost* miss having a newborn. Almost. :-)
Praying for this day!! Thank you...
This is EXACTLY the right mindset. I'm in the same boat- no family (everybody is 6 hours away). I went into this being scared out of my mind thinking it would be super impossible and stressful and it hasn't been ANYWHERE near as scary as it seems it will be. Of COURSE you'll have stressful times and of COURSE it won't always be easy. However, if you keep that mindset- of one day at a time, you'll find that your good days will generally outweigh the bad and before you know it, you'll be in a good groove and feel back to "normal" again. One other thing that I tried to do with LO #2 first came home from the hospital was to not put off anything for tomorrow which could be done today. It drives me NUTS to have a messy house (which mine often is), but it helps to keep on top of it rather than allow it to totally turn into a disaster zone. Of course it IS a disaster zone from time to time but if I have a moment/energy to wash the breakfast dishes right away, then I take it. It makes it a lot easier to maintain sanity at our house. Another thing I found to be a big help this time around was breastfeeding. It was really hard (as it usually is) the first month or so but as time went on it has shown itself to be a big time saver (no washing/making bottles) and it allowed me to get a decent nights sleep from the jump. I'd just bring LO in bed with me and nurse while I slept. Best wishes to everybody and may God bless us all!!!
I'm still trying to figure this one out too.
My 17 month old only sleeps all night if shes at my moms house. Which she's not there very often. It's up and down all night and frankly I don't want to fall asleep at work anymore.
I love my munchkin to death... but why won't she sleep!!!??!!