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September 2011 Moms
Wedding Anniversary: August 7th 2010 BFP: December 22nd 2010 Beautiful Little Birthday: August 30th 2011
Cousin's baby shower vent
Okay. So my cousin is 18 y.o. and having a "planned" baby. I don't really understand that because her bf is in and out of jail and their relationship is on again, off again. So in my mind, I am like, "she needs love, support, help"... BUT she is really getting on my nerves. Here's why:
Despite the fact that she claims this was a "planned" baby she didn't find out till 11 weeks, when she interrupted thanksgiving dinner at my great-aunt's house to be rushed to the hospital for cramps. She comes back all happy with an u/s pic, and a guess what I'm pregnant! 1) I don't see how you're planning a pregnancy and don't realize you're pg until ELEVEN weeks. 2)I really feel like this was a crazy AW scheme.
The day after she finds out she made an insanely huge registry at Target. Like, toys up to the toddler years, dvds, even slippers for herself. When people congratulate her on fb she says,"Thank you. I am registered at Target"
She made additional registries (at JCP and Journey Kidz) for clothes. I shot her a quick comment on fb when she posted them and said, "LOL don't worry about registering for clothes, people will not be able to resist buying cute things for your little one as is" and she said back, "Yeah, but I don't want ugly f*cking clothes, my baby will be stylin" Really? Yeah, really.
She named her baby a rhyming name. For example, Lucy Bucey... Someone pointed this out to her and she was like, "crap, well I guess she'll just use my last name" FWIW, she DID change the first name and baby is registered under father's last name NOW.
She lived with her dad in the southwest, my family is from Michigan, including her mom. (she was visiting for thanksgiving, but went back early December). She publicly facebooked her mother about her uncle and his FI who recently had a baby, like at this point the baby was 2 weeks old, and they were having hard times and staying with my cousins grandmother. Here is an edited version of what she said, "mom u need to start being nice to me and stop exspecting things from, I need your suport more then others becuase you know were I'm coming from, so help me kick that baby n ur brother out of that house so I can come "home" which I havnt had since 2007 literally bc they have been bumming for years, I have college I'm starting nearby so u can come over and watch my baby while I'm in school. and plus I would like grandmas help in baby 101 for the first few months, idk wtf I'm doing yet besides the obvious. I'm 18 not 28 I think it only makes sense and is fair to have it this way." AHHH I was like wtf? Did she really say that publicly? And FWIW, her uncle moved out yesterday and she was posting victorious statuses all day.
Finally, she is planning her own baby shower. She invited over 500 people on facebook, and said, "don't worry alcohol will be provided!" It was originally for a Sunday, but then she changed to Saturday. Why? "UPDATE: Because my fam has to work on mon, and this is gonna be a ca-ray-zee party i changed the day to sat!" And now a 2 people have told her they couldn't make it, one of them being a close cousin of mine, because they had a wedding and she said, "UGH i am gonna have to change the date again because none can come!" Mind you, she doesn't have a venue yet. She just wants to nail everyone down.
This is probably the longest vent in the history of the Bump. But I had to get it all out. I cannot attend the shower myself as I live out of state with no vehicle (we bus everywhere) and she constantly pesters me about it. I would just delete her and call it a day, but our family is (usually) close-knit and I'd get grief from her mom, her gramma, my great aunt, etc... (she is actually like a 2nd or 3rd cousin, I think, IDK I just call them all cousin). Seriously, am I over-reacting about her rudeness? I am just baffled, and I'll admit, somewhat entertained by her self-centeredness. AHH
Gold Star to anyone who read this!
Wedding Anniversary: August 7th 2010 BFP: December 22nd 2010 Beautiful Little Birthday: August 30th 2011
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This discussion has been closed.
Re: Cousin's baby shower vent
Wow...
I have no words..
Wow, she is incredibly immature and rude. It sounds like somebody needs to teach her some manners and etiquitte! I don't think you are overreacting, but I think this is what happens when people haven't grown up and were never taught proper manners. I don't know if there's anything you can do/say to make her stop acting this way, or if you'd even want to at the risk of starting drama. What does her mother say about the way she's acting (or does she even know about it?) If I was acting like that my mom would absolutely kill me b/c that's not how she raised me! Your best solution is just to try to ignore it and send a small gift for her shower.
This. I'm at a total loss...
Unbelievable. She sounds like a lost cause.
I think you can adjust your Facebook settings so you don't get all her updates.
Even if you had a car, you shouldn't go to the shower.
My mom said her mom was very similar. She had her at 18/19 and expected everyone to help her to the nth degree. But like my mom said, "most people are only naive enough to believe this until the reality doesn't meet the expectations... Those girls aren't in that mold"
I love her grandmother dearly (who is my mom's 1st cousin) and her great-grandmother (my grandma's sister) is one of my favorite people ever. I don't wanna cause drama, but I feel like this girl needs a slap!
I am just waiting till we announce our LO (doing it at April Fool's Day on fb, and no- she wasn't considered close enough to tell yet) and I am hoping to be polite and mature and NOT say, "thanks we'll be registered at BRU and the shower will be the end of July!"
Wedding Anniversary: August 7th 2010 BFP: December 22nd 2010 Beautiful Little Birthday: August 30th 2011
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All I can say is wtf, hide her from your fb and I want my gold star
You're not alone! I would go into detail about DH's niece but I was already flamed on another board for judging her.
Are you sure she's 18? she sounds like 14 to me..lol Just rude and totally disrespectful of others. I'd say stay away from her, save yourself from stress and annoyance. If I those kind of people around me, I just pull myself out of those crowd.
I hope she gets guidance, she will be a mommy soon.
Not much you can do about crazy I don't suppose. However, you need to make sure you keep us updated for sheer entertainment!
About her uncle and his FI:
"Cant wait for these fools to move out today so i can finally start decking out the Nursery! Boo-Ya!"
Sorry just felt like adding one of my fav statuses from yesterday
Wedding Anniversary: August 7th 2010 BFP: December 22nd 2010 Beautiful Little Birthday: August 30th 2011
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THIS! Definitely hide her from your feed (you don't need the stress of her annoying updates). I feel sad for the baby. Hopefully being a mother helps her with her priorities a bit.
ooooohmy.
I think we should all get in one big bus and go crash her "ca-ray-zee party"
she sounds like a WINNER.
Wow. Um, yeah, wow.
That baby is going to need as much outside influence as he/she can get.
I don't know, she's 18 and clearly immature. You aren't gaining anything by sitting there being worked up over all this. It's not your job to be her registry police. She's excited and doesn't seem to know any better. Big deal if she registers for DVDs and at Journey Kidz. It's something she wants to do, it doesn't mean you have to buy her those gifts - or that anyone else actually will either. And who cares what she names her baby. Lucy is a pretty nice name, she could be naming it Neveah or Destynee. Yes, it's annoying, but let it go. Hide her from your news feed and stop reading what she posts on FB.
Remove yourself from the drama, focus on your own pregnancy, and just ignore her.
You forget these kinda people are out there.... then ... well... thank you for the reminder.
:P
Sorry for your troubles...
Married Filing Jointly Blog
Yeah she sounds like trash but you are really getting worked up over it. It's not your problem. You have your own to focus on right now (like maybe getting a car). Just don't go, and don't send a gift.
There was a similar post like this recently on the showers board. We all said the same thing to them too....not your problem, let it go...
For the record, we choose not to have a car. We live in a city that its not an inconvenience under 95% of the circumstances to take a bus, and when I want to go home, taking the train is just a bit more costly than gas these days. We just don't want to pay car insurance and gas and etc when its free to take the buses and we can save money for a down payment on a house or for our LO
Just adding that!
Wedding Anniversary: August 7th 2010 BFP: December 22nd 2010 Beautiful Little Birthday: August 30th 2011
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I would block her on fb, she won't know you did and neither will any of your family members. You will still remain "friends" but just won't see each other's status', be able to comment, see pics, etc.
She needs help. But being that she's 18 she needs to grow the eff up. Being ignorant isn't cute at all. I really hope you don't have to deal with her the rest of your life, ugh.
Ok, so just be glad you are not in her situation. And that you are smart enough and have planned ahead to NOT be in her shoes. Your baby (I'm sure) will have a much better set of parents and home life.
I'll be the first to admit that the drama of this situation is amusing to me, but I also want(ed) to help her out... Guide her a little, for the baby, my mom's cousin and my great aunt's sake. I know its not my job, but she posts her junk on fb and makes it everyone's business. I am so entirely baffled by the situation I guess I am just going to throw my hands in the air and mark it a lost cause...
We'll see how it all goes.
Wedding Anniversary: August 7th 2010 BFP: December 22nd 2010 Beautiful Little Birthday: August 30th 2011
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Seriously, I really REALLY wonder if she knew she was pg at Thanksgiving and just wanted the big dramatic reveal. I mean, she obviously didn't miscarry or even have bleeding... how bad could the cramps have been if she thought they were just regular period cramps that she had to go to the hospital? My mom and I have 2 theories (1) she knew she was pregnant and had some cramps, and worried about the baby- went to the ER. (2) she knew she was preg, had NO cramps, but wanted some drama and a ton of attention/gushes over her being preg...
I wasn't there, but the story says she showed up and just before grace had to leave, but was back just as the dessert plates were being cleaned up. If the doctors were worried wouldn't they have kept her longer (ie- if she was really cramping?)
Wedding Anniversary: August 7th 2010 BFP: December 22nd 2010 Beautiful Little Birthday: August 30th 2011
BLOG.
She seems way beyond the point of any guidance, and you seem a little too judgemental to really give her much anyway. Since you don't even live near her, don't make it your lost cause. Life will ultimately be her biggest teacher....who knows 5 years from now she may surprise you and be a changed person.
I definitely plan on sending a gift to her. Something useful, and I don't think it'd be an outfit. I did send her a "congrats gift".... "What to expect when you're expecting," and sent her a card when she found out the sex with a $10 gift card to "buy some pink onesies!" I'm not entirely heartless, and she and the baby are always family, but I do regret the card because I never even got so much as a fb IM saying thanks for either... Perhaps another reason I am so jaded.
Wedding Anniversary: August 7th 2010 BFP: December 22nd 2010 Beautiful Little Birthday: August 30th 2011
BLOG.
This totally!
She's 18, even if you sat her down and explained her naivety, she won't get it. At 18 I remember "knowing it all" too. Now I look back and realize I was an idiot!
I just wanted to say thanks to all the ladies on here. Unfortunately, the gold star graphic isn't working and I should REALLY be studying for an exam instead of finding a gif... So here's a complimentary martini for us all that won't hurt the babies!
I'll keep you all updated when something "amusing" happens (at least IMO) and if you don't wanna read it, just don't click on the post. :P
Enjoy your Grey's Anatomy night, ladies!
Wedding Anniversary: August 7th 2010 BFP: December 22nd 2010 Beautiful Little Birthday: August 30th 2011
BLOG.