I don't normally rant on here but...

Pinkwoman · March 2011

I need some advice, or at least some support:

So my older sister is child-less and doesn't want them, but is SOOOO excited about my little guy (first baby in the family). She lives literalyy next door to the school I substitute at, so she will be my main child-care a few days a week when I work (she has a schedule that allows it).

Anyways, here's my problem...my sister us very used to bossing me around and she isn't the nicest or most understanding person on earth. She has completely TAKEN OVER my pregnancy. She has made rude comments about the hospital I am birthing at, the travel system I chose, the travel system I ultimately got because she berated me over the first one, the fact that my husband (who used to manage a Babies' R Us) has opinions on what the baby needs, and now the fact that I might be kicking everyone out of the delivery room when the nitty-gritty stuff starts. I think she assumed that because "this is a once-in-a-lifetime" experience for HER, I would let her stay...Ugggghhhh!!

My DH is getting so frustrated with her putting me under this much stress!!! She is not the kind of person you can talk to honestly, as she will flip out and just throw all that she has done in my face...she has bought a lot of stuff for the baby, and even a lot of her own furniture and gear for when she baby-sits...

I am now getting worried that this whole child-care arrangement is doomed, if she is feeling this entitled already. But that was my only plan for being able to work!!!

Anyways, sorry for the long rant...any thoughts or support will make me stop being so upset

samfish2bcrab · March 2011

Come up witha new plan. If she's this opinionated while you're pregnant, it's going to get worse when she feels she "knows" the baby and knows what's in it's best interest.

If she flips out, give everything back. You need to stand up for yourself and yoru family.

ashleah83 · March 2011

Yikes. All I can really say is I'm sorry. It sucks that she won't listen to an honest conversation. Are your Mom or Dad able to back you up at all?

cvl105 · March 2011

samfish2bcrab:
Come up witha new plan. If she's this opinionated while you're pregnant, it's going to get worse when she feels she "knows" the baby and knows what's in it's best interest.

If she flips out, give everything back. You need to stand up for yourself and yoru family.

I agree! It's only gonna get worse when she's watching the baby. She'll do what she wants to do and not what you want her to do, etc.

MommaA117 · March 2011

my Godmother was like this and although even still she is like a 3rd parent to me it really got to my Mom when I was little. She watched me while my parents worked and always felt she had a say in everything....I know it really got to my Mom when I would cry for Meme or want to be at Meme's all the time. Oh and she sure did use it to her advantage but I know it hurt my Mom's feelings. She meant well and it was all because she loved me so much but as a future parent, I'm sorry. No one but DH and I will have a say so when it comes to our babies needs unless we ask for the advice or it's given by the Dr of course. I think I would put a little distance there if she's already trying to show such control.

That or put your foot down. When she tries to tell you what do do just state "No, we are doing it like this". Hopefully she will get the point that it's your baby, your choices.

JayElleJayCee · March 2011

I don't really know what to say.... It is such a tough situation. My first instinct is to smack a ***! However... that could turn out bad so you need to think it through. For your sanity... I would research other childcare options and try to talk to her and tell her how you feel. It is YOUR child!!! And she needs to understand that. Yes you appreciate everything she has done but at some point there needs to be a line. If she wants kids - she should have them herself or adopt! If she throws things back in your face - that is herrrrr problem! Not yours. She is the one who bought everything because she wanted to. Not because you made her. If she can't understand that then it is her fault. Ultimately it comes down to your sanity vs. your money. You have to decide which is more important.

Pinkwoman · March 2011

Yeah, I might bring my mom into it. She will back me up. I am just so disappointed, but I should have known better, she has been this way all of her life!!!

This pregnancy has been more about making her an aunt than me being a mom. Everytime I bring anything up that I am struggling with, she laughs. It is so rediculous

Uggghhh!!!

MammaBear81 · March 2011

I'm sorry you are going through this, but if she is like this now, I think you need to come up with a plan B. I went through a similar situation with my mom (she wasn''t as bossy, but "she knew best" for MY baby and she did it the way she wanted no matter what I said) and it made it really hard for me. You don't need to be stressed out, you need to feel comfortable. You still have a few months, see if you can crunch some numbers and get creative!

helenejr · March 2011

samfish2bcrab:

Come up witha new plan. If she's this opinionated while you're pregnant, it's going to get worse when she feels she "knows" the baby and knows what's in it's best interest.

If she flips out, give everything back. You need to stand up for yourself and yoru family.

This!!! great advice!! i agree - you need to be comfortable enough to raise the child your way - and if she doesn't listen to you now she won't do it when you have her take care of the baby and that will only mean more conflict and stress

sunset+skies · March 2011

cvl105:
samfish2bcrab:
Come up witha new plan. If she's this opinionated while you're pregnant, it's going to get worse when she feels she "knows" the baby and knows what's in it's best interest.

If she flips out, give everything back. You need to stand up for yourself and yoru family.
I agree! It's only gonna get worse when she's watching the baby. She'll do what she wants to do and not what you want her to do, etc.

This is exactly what I was thinking. She is going to undermine every single parenting decision, routine and procedure you implement.

Unless you can get her to see reason, and you are 100% certain she's not going to eff up your parenting, I'd look for other alternatives.

Want a personalized experience?

I don't normally rant on here but...

Re: I don't normally rant on here but...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards