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writers of recommendation letters

brittlandkbrittlandk
in Babies: 6 - 9 Months

I have many undergraduate student advisees who frequently ask for rec letters for grad school, internships, employment, etc. I don't mind writing them and I actually kind of enjoy the time as I reflect on the relationship I've had with each student.

My question: Almost all of the submission routes for these letters are confidential, but should I share them with the student(s) anyway? I feel like they might be curious to know what I say; on the other hand, I don't want to make them self-conscious with these microscopic analyses their qualities. (Everything I say is positive, although some letters are more strongly positive than others.)

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Re: writers of recommendation letters

  • kofmkgkofmkg member

    I frequently write recommendation/reference letters for interns, but I do not share them. 

    If they trust our professional relationship enough to ask me for my recommendation, then they should trust that I will write a professional recommendation for them (which would include objectively include strengths and some weaknesses).  If I am unable to recommend them or provide a favorable reference, I tell them so and decline the offer to write a letter.

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  • mrsjenglemrsjengle member

    I think some traditions should continue. I don't share my recommendations when I have a grad student-teacher, and I probably never will. I think the ones who know you wouldn't say good things about them know not to ask for letters of recommendation.

    However, when I went through grad school, I also worked in the grad office. I had access to my file. I did look at my letters from my professors. I'm glad I did. It showed me I was way too hard on myself.

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  • brittlandkbrittlandk
    imagemrsjengle:

    I think some traditions should continue. I don't share my recommendations when I have a grad student-teacher, and I probably never will. I think the ones who know you wouldn't say good things about them know not to ask for letters of recommendation.

    However, when I went through grad school, I also worked in the grad office. I had access to my file. I did look at my letters from my professors. I'm glad I did. It showed me I was way too hard on myself.

    That would be the reason I'd want to share them. I've had two letters of rec for me that were given to me by the writer and it really brought on the warm fuzzy feeling. Usually my philosophy is: If you can do something to improve someone's day, do it. But maybe some people might not want to read their letters?

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  • emilydholmes1emilydholmes1 member
    I never share my letters. I think it is unethical. If I agree to write a letter, that means I think highly of the student and will write something positive. If a student I don't like, or don't know, or isn't fitted for the position, then I tell them when they ask me that I don't feel like I would be the best person to write the letter for them. I've only had to do that once or twice and the student was always okay with it.
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  • brittlandkbrittlandk

    Thanks for all the opinions, ladies. I guess I will not share!

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