if you have adopted siblings i have a question

yourfaceyourface · March 2011

how old were they when they were adopted?

i was adopted when i was approx a week old. i never even thought that my little brother (other brother was adopted as well) might refer to us as being adopted instead of a regular sibling. he very well could though since he always referred to himself as my parents "real child." ha.

Pocky873 · March 2011

I don't, but my nephew is adopted. My SIL and her husband adopted him when he was about 6 months old (I think). He was born in Taiwan and lived in an orphanage in Taipei. They had to go through a ton of red tape to get him. I'm not sure how long the process took, but I believe he was older than 6 months when he actually moved to the U.S.

yourfaceyourface · March 2011

cassie and pockstar-

it's understandable to me to refer to them as adopted in those situations. i imagine the majority of people on here who have adopted siblings were either much older once the child was adopted or the adopted child was older/or from another marriage type deal.

i was just curious.

mothling · March 2011

My brothers were 10 and 6 when my parents adopted them. I am the youngest of my natural siblings and was 19, but still lived at home for a couple years with them. I refer to them as my brothers, but it's obviously no secret to anyone that they are adopted. If I introduce the older one to people as my brother and people look confused because we look nothing alike, then I'll explain it to them. Otherwise, they are just my brothers.

ToastieSimons · March 2011

I have a very small family, 1 brother, 3 cousins. My cousin was adopted when he was about 4 months old. We are 6 months apart and they only live a mile away so it's practically like a sibling.

I have never referred to him as adopted, in fact I didn't find out till I was like 9 (he was adopted from Columbia and it never even occured to me that he was a lot more tan than my aunt and uncle). My brother who is 5 years old than us has never referred to him as adopted either, and he can clearly remember a time before he was adopted and that my aunt and uncle did adopt him.

teamsweet · March 2011

Well, I'm adopted and I've never heard anyone refer to me as "their adopted sister". I would actually be pretty offended. I've read a couple of posts where people say they have 3 sisters, 2 brothers and 1 adopted brother, and it irks me honestly. I can understand having a "step" or "half" sibling that you refer to as such because they were not a part of your nuclear family, but how does adopting a child make them less than a full sibling?

I have a step-sister (who became a step when I was 21) and 6 half-siblings that I found out about when I was 16. So if anyone asks me half the time I tell them I have 2 sisters. And my 2 sisters would answer that they have 2 sisters...even though 2 of us are adopted and we're different races.

I mainly think of my step and half siblings as separate because they didn't have my mom as a mom and never ever lived with me. I grew up with my mom and no contact from my dad until I was 16 and then met his whole other secret family (who are all 10-20 years younger). So I think it's fair that I don't automatically think of them as my sisters and brothers.

But when I introduce them to people, I introduce them as my sister or brother without distinction. And half the time I tell people that I have 2 nuclear sisters, 1 step, 4 half sisters and 2 half brothers when they ask me.

ETA: while I'm venting, I also don't see the point in saying I have an "adopted" step-sister vs a regular step-sister. So and so is related to you in that way, who cares that they are adopted?

yourfaceyourface · March 2011

teamsweet:
Well, I'm adopted and I've never heard anyone refer to me as "their adopted sister". I would actually be pretty offended. I've read a couple of posts where people say they have 3 sisters, 2 brothers and 1 adopted brother, and it irks me honestly. I can understand having a "step" or "half" sibling that you refer to as such because they were not a part of your nuclear family, but how does adopting

how old were you when you were adopted?

i would be offended as well if that's how my brother referred to me but it wouldn't surprise me. he is the golden child and like's to make sure we all remember that.

JamesMom10 · March 2011

i have two step sisters (they're biological sisters) who were adopted from korea by my step mom and her first husband (my dad is #2) when they were 3 and 4. i met them when i was 16 and we're all around the same age (27, 28, 28). i do usually refer to them as my adopted step sisters, but only to illustrate that my family is very unconventional (as i said in another post, i have a brother, step sister and step brother from my mom's second marriage and from oldest to youngest we're 31, 28, 28, 28, 27, and 24). anyhow, when i was reading some of the PP, i realized that it might sound negative, but i didn't see it that way until now.

Pocky873 · March 2011

yourfaceyourface:

cassie and pockstar-

it's understandable to me to refer to them as adopted in those situations. i imagine the majority of people on here who have adopted siblings were either much older once the child was adopted or the adopted child was older/or from another marriage type deal.

i was just curious.

No one in my family refers to this nephew as adopted. Most of the adults know, but it's never spoken of. His sister refers to him as her brother and doesn't make any distinction. He's about 7 years old and doesn't know he is adopted.

berrybuzz · March 2011

my aunt was adopted however you wouldnt know it she fits well with our family but she was very young when adopted. we are actually quite close because she was still in her teens when i was born. she isnt from another country or anything (not that i have anything against someone that is)

however i have two half sisters(both 19 one born in july the other in march) and a half brother(12). (one sister and brother are my dad and step moms children and one sister is my mother and step fathers child) however i see them as my siblings brother and sisters not half in anyway in fact my mother and step dads daughter mentioned something about me being her half sister and i got quite offended, told her how i always see her as my sister no matter how it happened she understood why i was upset.

yourfaceyourface · March 2011

Pocky873:
yourfaceyourface:

cassie and pockstar-

it's understandable to me to refer to them as adopted in those situations. i imagine the majority of people on here who have adopted siblings were either much older once the child was adopted or the adopted child was older/or from another marriage type deal.

i was just curious.

No one in my family refers to this nephew as adopted. Most of the adults know, but it's never spoken of. His sister refers to him as her brother and doesn't make any distinction. He's about 7 years old and doesn't know he is adopted.

ah, ok. are they going to tell him he was adopted? i think i was around the same age when my mom told me. i remember being like oky doke and then running back upstairs to play, haha. my mom said she spent forever preparing herself to tell me and then it turned out to be no biggie.

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