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August 2011 Moms
How well do you get along with your in-laws?
I feel like a horrible wife sometimes, but I just don't enjoy spending time with my in-laws at all. There is always some sort of drama going on with them -- it is never-ending. I really envy those people who absolutely love their in-laws instead of just tolerating them...
DH and I are starting to talk about visitors after the birth, and I'm already dreading that we'll have to spend more time with them when the baby gets here. Isn't that horrible? I wish I could change how I feel, but it is what it is.
How well do you get along with your in-laws?
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Re: How well do you get along with your in-laws?
I get along with them but they aren't my first choice of people to hang out with. There is usually a lot of drama and it seems that more often than not i manage to offend DH's brother thought that seems to be getting better with time. There are definitely big differences in their family and mine and I have to work on how to deal with them.
They don't live to close so the stream of people coming to visit after the birth shouldn't be to intense which I am happy about.
This EXACTLY! Spending time with them is SO DRAINING!.. I stand corrected FIL is a Dream... MIL is the Draining One ... but since they come as a package deal.. DRAINING wins everytime.
We love to hang out with them as much as possible. We get together for all-day couchfests or hiking or day trips almost every weekend.
I talk to my FIL/MIL/BIL/SIL all of them at least once per week on the phone.
I *squee* love my ILs.
I know I'm barftastic, but they're an amazing family.
I also like being with my family, but my ILs are more fun.
the best way i can answer this is to provide a link to a post from last night:
https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/50907353.aspx
sorry i couldnt make it clicky-my mac is smarter than me and won't cooperate.
anyway, he says he wants to come for a month...
This. My husband doesn't have a father, but now has a step father (only for the last 5 months). We get together for breakfast or lunch about once a month, but I feel like it is hard for me sometimes. I feel more comfortable with my family than my husband's mom. She is really sweet and wants to have a strong relationship with me. I think I am having a hard time because I lost my mom a little over a year ago and I compare everything his mom does to how my mom would have done them. I know that's not fair to my MIL, but I can't help it. Hopefully with time we will become closer because that would be the best thing for everyone.
Not well - I try to be polite. ILs never liked me and I've been with their precious baby son for 14 years now (married 6). They even tried to push other girls at him - one time in front of my parents. Now they claim to like me, but I frankly have my doubts. Crazy people.
Do they live nearby? Ours do and I found it an absolute MUST to set limits early on. No dropping in, no unplanned visits, etc. When DD was little they would come over every Tuesday night (planned) and every other weekend or so for a bit. Frankly this was a grudging agreement on my part - DH wanted it. Now that DD is older it's actually easier. She spends Friday with them - I drop her off in the morning and they bring her home around bed time. It both gives DH and I a bit of alone time after work and means I don't have to spend time with them. There are, of course, still issues (like why they can not understand that get her home by 7 means just that, not 7:30 or 8 just because she had a longer nap than usual mid-day).
I get along fine with my in-laws but their family is so different from mine. MH's parents are divorced and MH works with my FIL so they see each other everyday and we rarely spend time with him. I haven't seen him since Christmas.
MIL and SFIL are super nice and we have a good relationship with them, BIL, his gf, and SIL.
The problem I run into his MH's extended family. They just very inappropriate a lot of the time. They cuss and drink like crazy and smoke around everyone, including small children. A good example of this is this story: the extended family gets together once a month for a family beer pong tournament for the adults. MH's cousin starting coming and bringing her kids, 16, 14, 7, and 5 year old twins AND LETTING THEM PLAY! They play with soda but I still have a big problem with 5 and 7 year olds knowing how to play beer pong and having experience.
I think we'll run into some problems once our baby is old enough to know what's going on around them because I just don't want my child exposed to the type of things MH's family finds appropriate.
This, for the most part. I get along very well with my ILs. We don't get together every wknd, but we have been known to hang out for a few hours watching tv & chatting. I get along very well with my BIL & SIL. If they're back from school, we spend the day or evening together. I also get along very well with my parents.
That being said, I am looking forward to having my parents & ILs around when the LO is born. My mom is a Godsend. I know she will help with cleaning & cooking when I get home from the hospital (& my dad will probably help around the house, too). My ILs have made it clear that MH & I have our own life that we are building & do not want to impose or step on our toes. Everyone keeps their boundaries, which I freely admit- I am very lucky in that department.
#3 BFP 11/17/12 EDD 8/5/13 Born 8/4/13
#4 BFP 1/26/14 EDD 09/29/14 Born 10/01/14
This is EXACTLY how I feel!!!! Luckily, they live in South Jersey and we are in the burbs of Philly which is absolutely not far at all but they are petrified of crossing the bridge into PA. This makes it much easier to avoid them
We live 5 miles from them. We have virtually no relationship with them. They're OK people, they just choose to NOT be a part of or interact with their 2 grown sons. I see them only at major holidays. They do have one grandchild that they keep regularly.
I have a feeling they are going to want to be more involved in our child's life than I am comfortable with... They are very cold, disciplinarian type grandparents, and that's not how I believe grandparents should interact w/ their grandchildren.
LOL, I wish that a bridge kept mine away!
Mine are in Florida, and when they come up, we GET them! Unfortunately....but the reason is, their friends live in our area, lucky us!
I get along with them, because I have manners, but I do not care for them. My MIL is and has always been a selfish person, always caring about her own wants, and ususally gets her way. My FIL is a big fat pig that camps out on our couch, farting and picking his nose, I can't stand it! They do NOTHING to help out when here, except order food in, or take us out to eat. Neither of them are warm towards my DD, if they are, it seems kind of unnatural. My mom is the warm, loving Nana with our DD, my dad passed way a little over a yr ago, but my mom has met someone in church and they are planning to get married, so far I like my impending step father and am happy that they will be moving closer to us.
If my MIL only knew, when DH was looking for qualities in a wife, he wanted someone opposite of what his mother is. I guess that is a compliment to me!
This exactly!!! My IL's, well I'll clear this up, my MIL is a weirdo. If you are not in her "inner circle" she will barely speak to you, thinks the world is out to get her, keeps her house totally locked up "incase" someone were to break in, hasn't drove in 17 years because of one little accident that was all her fault, is the biggest horder I have ever met, and is just plain rude to me. My MIL has never cared for me, but my FIL on the other hand adores me. I can handle him, but her... ughhhhhh, just the thought of her makes my skin crawl!! I know once the baby is here he will not be treated the same as her other grandkids just because I am his mother. I love my SO, but wish I could have picked different IL's. : ) She already told SO that she is nervous about my baby shower because my family is throwing it, so basically she is nervous it won't be on her turf and she won't have total control. I know she is going to go and just sit in a corner and not speak to anyone but his sisters, which just pisses me off! This is about the baby, not her!! Whew, ok, just needed to vent a bit. : )