Does your SO take over baby duty when he gets home?

TempeWick · March 2011

I'm in a quandry... I'm on maternity leave and DH works full-time in the city (long commute/long hours). When he gets home (if LO is even awake still) I try my best not to just pass DS off so I can eat/sleep/do laundry etc. I understand that he's worked all day too, even though I just need a few minutes to myself. How does this time of day work for you? What about weekends?

RubineLime · March 2011

DH has a pretty stress-less job, so he knows once he walks in the door, he's on DD-Duty. A toddler is just harder to deal with than a newborn, so he gives her a bath, plays with her, reads, and puts her to bed.

GracieMaeLovey · March 2011

i've got to say, dh is pretty amazing and offers his hand quite often...weekends we alternate sleep-in days and weekdays (evenings), he'll feed, bathe, soothe, etc. if he's not caring for lo, he'll prepare dinner...however, i will say the overnights can be rough! when lo has a fussy night, there's a huge piece of me that wishes he would get up- unfortunately, im bf and that's not usually an option....

harmony3d · March 2011

I don't try to pass her off (although most days I can't wait to chuck her at him!), but he gets home, takes off his shoes, and immediately is like, "let me hold my daughter!" I'm pretty lucky and I recognize it... who knows how long it will last!

Aviee · March 2011

I give the man about 2 hours to himself after work to play video games, ect... then I 'ask' him for a shower as I shove DD into his arms. I at least might get 15 minutes to myself to get clean sometimes. Most of the time, tho, he'll let me do everything because he really doesnt know what to do with DD. At least she's quiet when he's home.

Mallyboomer · March 2011

DH is really good with her, (total natural at changing, swaddling, getting her to nap) but it seems most of the time our schedules are a bit out of sync: whenever he has a free moment, that's when the baby gets hungry...and I'm EBFing, so there's not much he can do to help there.

On his days off, he takes care of her a large portion of the day. I'm very blessed to have him

amanicen · March 2011

DH usually takes over diapers when he gets home and holds her for a bit, but overall I'm still 'on' for most of the night. He does help out alot overnight- if she wakes up he'll change her and bring her to me for a feeding, and during her scream-marathons this week we've alternated trying to soothe her. I know I should let him sleep since he's the one working, but sometimes I can only handle so many hours straight of bouncing, humming, singing, & rocking before I have to pass her off to him.

Days off are still pretty much on me, but I'm sure that will change as she starts to play more.

Molluskwrangler · March 2011

H comes home, he checks his email/FB etc, cleans up and then takes Mollusk while I make dinner. We then get her showered (she showers with me H lotions her up) H gets her ready for bed bottle etc. She goes down to sleep, he usually takes her so I can have some "me" time. We go to bed, he'll take her if I ask.

Weekends he takes her one full night and I go to the grocery store and shopping alone and he has her.

I feel very lucky, it took some time for us to get to this point.

ETA: On nights that just go on and on (screaming 'til 5am), he is right there for me ready to give me a break.

MrsNiner · March 2011

DH did fairly well at taking over once he got home the first 2-3 weeks. But then I think the newness wore off. He will still take care of DS if I ask him to so I can shower, cook, clean, etc. But unless I ask, he usually doesn't offer to anymore. Weekends are the same.

Lord knows I'd love for him to be the one who gets up all night with the baby, but I am BFing. After a few rough nights earlier this week, I told DH that for one feeding last night he was going to give DS a bottle so I could sleep. Little did I know that DS would decide to sleep from 10-5 and then 5-8! He got the boob for being such a good sleeper.

littlefamilyof4 · March 2011

With how hard he works and how many hours lately, its been 60 hour work weeks this past month. He does pretty awesome. He is a BIG help with our older son so that alone takes stress off me. When he gets home after work he will unwind with our older son than offer to take LO and spend time with her and let me do what i need to do. He is such a blessing to be married too. He's a wonderful husband and a great father. Even when he is dead tired he still manages to let me have some me time.

chardonnay24 · March 2011

H only helps if I ask him to, which I do. I don't feel guilty about it. We are both working, even if he is the one who has to get up and actually go to work. Whenever we disagree about who should have evening baby duty, I remind him that he at least "gets" to shower, have a lunch break, and the pleasure of a baby free commute. I sometimes don't shower for a couple days, can barely brush my teeth most days, and skip meals from time to time. I feel like I am on baby duty 24/7...he just doesn't take initiative, so even those he does things when I ask him to, I can't just give him the baby and walk away.

We take turns on weekends. I sleep in on Saturday while he takes baby duty and he sleeps in Sunday while I do. We run errands and deep clean the house together.

Sonadora · March 2011

Yes, but he's usually only home for 30 minutes before she goes to bed and he's gone in the morning before she's up, so if he didn't take her then, he'd only see her on the weekends.

Bluescarf · March 2011

I let my DH have some time to himself when he first gets home to change, play computer game, etc. After a feeding I hand over LO to DH and start dinner, switch out laundry, etc. He's not as much of a help as I had pictured him to be while I was pregnant, but he also isn't the worst. If I seem tired or upset he will pop up from whatever he's doing and offer me a break. I just wish I didn't have to look so upset or tired for him to help!

RileyGrace · March 2011

My DH has a very stressful and busy job, but he gets LO as often as possible when he's home. If he's not busy working from home at night then he gets LO from approx. 6-midnight depending on the night. Then again from 6am until he has to leave for the office. If I didn't pass LO off to DH then he really wouldn't ever see him. Plus, I need a break. LO still isn't on a schedule so we'll be doing this routine until we're on a STTN schedule. Then DH will still play with him from dinner-bedtime and in the morning before he leaves for work, it just won't be for as long.

etude de la vie · March 2011

HA no!

DH works 70 hours a week, sometimes more. He has a very stressful job and he needs to relax. Most of the time he eats and goes right to sleep.

He tries to help on the weekends but I have learned to survive without him. He would love to help more but the nature of what he does he is lucky to see the kids 1 hour a day in the morning while he is getting ready.

laurapalmer · March 2011

DH is a teacher and he works nearby so his hours are relatively short. He comes straight home after work, eats dinner then takes DS for at least two hours so I can eat dinner and clean/set up. Then he usually keeps him a bit longer so I can go for a run and take a shower. After that I take DS and DH goes for a run and showers. By then it's bedtime. DS doesn't nap on his own so I'm extremely grateful for all the time DH gives me when he gets home.

cfranklin1 · March 2011

DH works from 7:30 to 3:30 and gets home at 4:00. If I'm extremely tired or just need a shower or something, he takes the baby and lets me have some alone time. He gives DS his 6:00 bottle and they have some daddy time. It's nice...DS and I actually laid down for a nap at about 3:00 today, and when DH came home from work, he took DS into the living room because he was getting fussy. I woke up at 6:30 feeling rested, and they were perfectly content on the couch.

ksyknelvr73 · March 2011

Most days, DH is on baby duty when he gets home...not like the SECOND he walks in but probably half an hour or so. He changes, goes to the bathroom, whatever...then comes and gets the baby. And on the weekends, we pretty much share. DH will take him if he wakes up early in the morning so I can sleep in but then the rest of the day we just trade off although I end up with LO more than he does.

KeriMac · March 2011

No. I am lucky if he sits with the kids while I shower. He works 12 hour days, so I understand he is tired when he gets home. Weekends he is more helpful, but more so with DD. She is at an age where he can take her somewhere or play with her and it's pretty low maintenance. I should also mention that he has yet to change DS's diaper.

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