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Single Parents
Crystal318
member
To the Exes of Addicts........
Crystal318
member
What was the last straw for you?
Long story, kinda short.....My FI is a pill addict. About two weeks ago I finally gave him the choice to either be in a detox/treatment program Friday, March 25th or be out of the house. He has two days left and I will stick to this 100%. I am so over it, it's not even funny. I am getting to the point that I can't even look at him, everything thing he does and says make me sick because I know everything he says and does is because he is high. I dont want to get to the point of no return with him because if he does get treatment, I would like to stay together and try to work it out but the more I see him f*cked up, the more I cant stand him!!! It takes all I have to even kiss him good night or good bye in the morning. He is two completely different people when he is on/off pills. I feel like the person I fell in love with dies everytime he gets back on them.
I just wonder if and when your SO left, did he ever change/get clean? How long did it take? Do you let LO visit with them (supervised/unsupervised)? Are they still on drugs?
Sorry for the rambling but this is what the inside of my head looks like......going a million miles and hour! 
TIA.
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Re: To the Exes of Addicts........
My advice: You aren't married. Run like the wind and never look back.
My XH is addicted to meth, alcohol, etc (whatever he can lay his hands on I'm sure). I didn't discover this until I was eight months pg. The day I found the drugs, and realized how much of a problem it was, I left. I kicked him out and filed for divorce.
Why would you stay, hoping that he will change? If he does get clean, how long will that be for? Get into counseling and do some reading about addiction, this cannot end well if you stay with him, I promise.
Anyways, to answer your questions:
No, my XH is NOT clean. He has been in and out of jail since we separated, all on various drug related charges.
I had taken pics of the drugs so XH got supervised visits (3 days week/3 hours at a time). he exercised his visitation rights less than 1/4 of the time and eventually stopped altogether. He hasn't seen DS since June and in December his visitation rights were revoked.
And yes, to the best of my knowledge he is still a full blown needle junkie.
The thing that you need to realize is that an addict is not going to get clean until they WANT to. no amount of threats are going to make a person clean up their act.
My EX-H was and still is an alcoholic (and he liked to buy xanex from friends and occasionally uses cocaine) . I gave many ultimatums and finally decided that I did not want DD to grow up in that kind of environment. I loved the person that I knew he was capable of being but HATED the person that he chose to be.
In April we will be divorced for a year and he has only seen DD a handful of times. Yes it sucks but I am where where I am today because of all the poor decisions he has made.
I know it is hard, but you cannot change him, no matter how much you love him or how much you want to make it work.
Good Luck!
Would you like another perspective? I am the daughter of an addict. My dad drank so much that one time when he was picked up by the police his blood alcohol levels were 0.4 (0.08 is the legal limit). They also found that he was abusing opiates as well. I cannot begin to tell the emotional repercussions his addiction had on me. When he was drunk on day he attempted to hit me in the stomach while I was pregnant with DD#1. My dad would have NEVER even raised a finger towards me had he been sober. I am happy to say that he is sober now. Want to know how he got sober? He killed himself. Yep he took opiates and drank himself to death in a motel room. That was four years ago this May and I still have emotional issues because of his choices. (BTW he only drank the last three to four years of his life, he wasn't an addict before then)
So for the sake of your child, remove yourself from the situation. Your child does NOT need to be around any type of addiction, let alone the manipulation and lies that I am sure he is spewing out his mouth. Is it possible to get clean? Yes, but trust me, the only person in the world that can motivate someone to get sober and STAY sober is the person themselves.