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Two Under 2
katykat17
member
Anybody with no family near them?
katykat17
member
in Two Under 2
I moved from Florida to Pennsylvania when I was pregnant with DD#1. My parents were supposed to be retiring around 2 hours away from where I moved so I figured they would be close enough to come by and spend weekends and vice versa.
The backstory is my little sister is pretty much the scum of the earth. She has two sons from two different fathers, she is on drugs, multiple arrests for selling and stealing. She doesn't take care of her sons and my parents now raise them. My parents actually did retire near us but had to move back to FL after 5 months because of my sisters antics and her not taking care of her son. (at the time she was pregnant with #2) Now DCF is involved and the boys live with my parents until my sister either steps up or signs them away.
Fast forward. Visits up to see me and the girls have become less and less frequent. When they can come visit it usually is nothing but drama with my sister calling every 10 minutes with some emergency or b/c she is in jail and needs someone to watch her kids etc etc. Once my mom brought one up with her but since my parents act more like grandparents than parents. my nephew is a wild spitting/biting/cussing 4 yr old. It was just too much with 2 small children of my own to deal with.
Now I'm pregnant with #3 and would usually rely on my mom to fly up and watch the girls when it comes time for the birth. She has already canceled her vacation up here this summer for DD#2's 1st birthday. I haven't told her I am pregnant yet because I am afraid that when she says she will not come help it will put a major strain on our relationship. I tried to test the waters by asking her what would happen if I needed surgery or something and needed help and she said she didn't know and she didn't think I would really need her (during/after having surgery!?!?!!?)
Anyways now I am crazy and hormonal and hurt by how much my sisters actions effect my family and I am freaking out about what to do when #3 comes.
I just need hugs 
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Re: Anybody with no family near them?
I'm sorry. That sounds very hard. Im sure your parents feel guity as well for not being there for you and the kids as much.
I live in SC and my parents and extended family is in NY. My one sister is in LA and the other was in NJ but moved 30 away from me this past Aug. She has 3 kids and they play well with my kids. I love having them here, but prior to that I was alone. My DH works away for weeks at a time and so I was really alone. My sis is great, but I see her once a week. She has her own kids and so she helps me some, but she can't do much. It's hard, but I have a really great group of friends here. Two of my closest friends I met online, one here and the other at meetup.com. They are wonderful people who help me as much as they can. I hope you have some support in teh form of a playgroup or moms club. It would be worth looking into.
As for your family, I would TRY to not overthink it all right now. You are hormonal and emotional so you dont need to go there yet. I forgot to look at your ticker but I assume you are early if you havent told mom yet. You have time. Hang in there and when the time comes to tell her, Im sure she will make time for you.
hugs
C
I'm sorry about your situation.
To answer your qestion, yes, we also have no family nearby (we are from MI, moved to NC three years ago). My mom is flying into town next week so I'm kind of hoping this baby holds off until then so that I can breathe a little bit easier about the possibility of having to find someone to care for DS overnight.
Otherwise, my co-worker graciously offered to come stay overnight with DS if we need and one of our friends also offered (but I don't think they are as reliable as my co-worker would be). I would just hate to ask that of them in the first place but you gotta do what you gotta do! It can be a little bit stressful not having family nearby, that's for sure.
Matthew Kevin
7/31/83-7/20/11
Met 1/8/00
Engaged 4/21/06
Married 9/29/07
Two beautiful legacies: Noah Matthew (2 yrs) and Chloe Marcella (8 mos)
Day Three
That sucks about your sister, but try and keep perspective...it's your sister's kids that are the victims here. Your parents are, I'm sure, just trying to do the best they can by putting out fires wherever they see them. Unfortunately, since they know you are responsible and capable, their priority is your sister's kids. *hugs*
We live in VA and my parents live in CT, DH's split time between CT and FL (they'll be in CT when this baby is born). We haven't really sat down to come up with a "plan" for DD yet, but we have a list of friends we can call on to take her. We'll start with the next-door neighbors, if they can't take her when I go into labor, she'll go with a SAHM friend I know, if she can't take her, she'll go to her godparents who live farther away (up to 1.5 hrs with traffic, the opposite direction from our hospital). Worst case scenario, I'll go to the hospital on my own or DH will drop me off then take care of DD. We plan to have contingencies for our contingencies lol. My in-laws will drive down as soon as we call them, and the drive takes around 7-8 hours. At that point, they'll take DD home and take care of her there and probably stay for a week or less. My parents need more notice to get time off, so they probably won't come down until a few weeks later and likely will only spend a long weekend.
You'll figure it out! Start by listing all the people you'd trust to take care of the kiddos
I know that her kids are victims and I do feel bad that they will always have to deal with having my sister for a mother. Sometimes I just need to vent because it is still a sucky situation for my kids, and they barely know their grandparents because of it.
Thanks ladies, sometimes I just need to let it out somewhere so I don't unload on my parents.
It does stink...especially since you're doing everything right, but aren't getting anything for it and she's effing up over and over and they're doing everything they can to help her. It's a crappy situation, no two ways about it.