Not sure what to say. (pg mentioned)

FraggleChic · March 2011

As you can see from my signature, my husband and I have been TTC for over three years with a one year forced break due to his second deployment to OIF.

I came out of the IF closet last fall because I was tired of people being insensitive about us being married for six year with no kids. People were really supportive for the most part.

My sister started trying for #3 last summer and told me that she was concerned because she was using the CBEFM and never got a + test. She's 34 and told me that they weren't going to to keep trying too much longer because she didn't want BIL to be having a kid at 40.

Anyway, I got an e-mail from her last night and she's expecting.

M,

I have wanted to write this to you for several days, but have been struggling because it is too hard to say. I want you to be the first to know we are expecting again. I wanted to tell you before we share with the rest of the family in a week or so. I wish I were there to hug you?I don?t know if that would even do any good. I know you?ll be happy for us, but I know it?s painful, too, and that?s okay. Call me when you feel like it. I?ll understand.

Love you,

K

I got this e-mail mere minutes after I found out that my husband's unit got orders to deploy in four months. Mine doesn't have to go because he's injured right now (never thought I'd be thankful for a bum knee!) but it was still upsetting. So, of course, when I read this email I started sobbing. I LOVE her for e-mailing me and being so empathetic. I just don't know what to say. Of course I'm happy for them! I love my two nieces and my sister is a wonderful mom. I know I have to call her soon--we're taking an international vacation with them in two months!

All I can do is be hopeful that I will get pregnant soon and we can have babies together.

kthappy76 · March 2011

It is really tough, but I am glad that you have such an empathetic sister as that makes a huge difference. My older sister has had her three kids since we've been married and two since we've been TTC. She is a super fertile (1st time every time) and has no clue what to say/do about what we are going through. I'm glad that your DH doesn't have to deploy again and hope that your baby is just around the corner for you guys. (((hugs)))

07may07 · March 2011

I have been on the receiving end of these emails. I think your reaction is totally normal (or at least your reaction is how I have reacted to these emails). I think your sister is wonderful and really understanding. I think she'd understand if you took a day or two to be sad for yourself before responding.

((hugs)) I hope that you get your BFP soon.

FraggleChic · March 2011

Thanks ladies. I still don't have any friends here and most of them don't understand what I'm going through since it seems like EVERYONE in the Army has kids. All the events are geared toward people with kids too!

Jlynn3 · March 2011

Big (((hugs))) This type of news is never easy. Sounds like you have a really awesome sister tough and I am sure she will understand how you are happy for her and yet sad for yourself. She will also be ok if it takes you some time to respond.

Good luck to you!

DeputiesWife · March 2011

It is really tough - and I think her message to you was nice.

If it were me, I'd thank her for respecting your feelings and congratulate her.

::hugs::

sterpstra10 · March 2011

((HUGS)) Your sister's e-mail was very thoughtful. IF is not easy. I'm praying for your BFP soon!

Delta04 · March 2011

I can totally relate and understand that it is hard. It does sound like your sister is very understanding - though it doesn't make our struggle any easier. ((HUGS)) to you.

dreamalotmp · March 2011

I agree with everyone... It is really really great of your sister to be so sensitive to your feelings. At least there's that, right? Of course it doesn't make it easier,b ut it doesn't make it harder, I guess. (((hug)))

theworms · March 2011

Jlynn3:
Big (((hugs))) This type of news is never easy. Sounds like you have a really awesome sister tough and I am sure she will understand how you are happy for her and yet sad for yourself. She will also be ok if it takes you some time to respond.

Good luck to you!

ditto

i prefer being told over email so that i can process and then respond

MegW21 · March 2011

It's so hard to get those types of emails and phone calls. How wonderful that your sister is understanding and sympathetic--but I know that doesn't take away the frustration you have. I'm sure she would understand if you take a little while to respond.

Good luck!

MarriedinCali · March 2011

What a tough email- I'm so sorry (((HUGS))).

naybird · March 2011

Every pregnancy announcement is always hard. I'm glad your sister had enough sensitivity twords your situation to let you know first.. so you weren't just hit with it around other people.. and have to try and put on a strong face..

Take care, big hugs, and I hope it's your time soon..

ak146550 · March 2011

I just wanted to say that I am sorry. I know how much these hurt every time even though you may be happy for the person they are coming from. Congrats on coming out of the IF closet and be happy that you have supportive family. Your BFP will come soon!

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