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So, I got my cousin's baby shower invite...

Delta04Delta04 member
in Infertility

...and I feel kind of crappy because...

  • she is 20 years old, lives with her mother, and dropped out of school
  • can barely support herself
  • the father lives with his mother
  • apparently didn't even get any prenatal care until last month but is due next month...uggh

 

...and the biggest reason why I feel crappy is because

  • if IVF#1 had worked, my baby would have been due around the same time...

Don't get me wrong, I love her dearly, it just really hits me hard that I will have to smile at a baby shower - that will be hosted at my mother's house - while thinking that it should be me. 

Okay, pity party over...sort of...

TTC since 3/07. IVF#1 = canceled. IVF#2 = 0% fertilization. IVF#3 = BFN. IVF#4 = c/p.  
Moving forward with Adoption 2017!
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Re: So, I got my cousin's baby shower invite...

  • ellenchris0506ellenchris0506

    That is completely understandable for you to feel crappy.  I certainly would.  It just seems so unfair :-(

    I'd suggest not even going.  I just went to my sister's baby shower this past weekend and it was much harder than I anticipated.  I had a horrible time with it.  My mom and I both agreed that I shouldn't torture myself by going to any more showers.

    Good luck, and I think pity parties on this board are inevitable!

    Ellen & Chris 5/6/06
    -------------------------
    TTC Since 10/2007 with no luck and a 'go with the flow' attitude
    1/1010 FINALLY decided to have testing done, dx MFI
    7/2010 - DH starts Clomid to increase testosterone and hopefully sperm count
    10/2010 - Still low (but improved) sperm count.
    11/30/10 - IUI #1 and only = BFN
    February 2011 - IVF #1 w/ ICSI =
    Chemical PG (Beta 1: 10, Beta 2: 19, Beta 3: 17) :-(
    April 2011 - IVF #2 w/ ICSI = BFN :-(
    September 2011 - IVF #3 w/ ICSI = BFFN
    November 2011 - AMH level tested - .83 (normal for age range)
    February 2012 - IVF #4 w/ ICSI = (best response ever yet still) BFFN
    April 2012 - DNA testing - NORMAL, RE suggests cycling again with own eggs or using DE
    On Break indefinitely...not sure we can afford the emotional and financial roller coaster anymore.
    *PAIFW/SAIFW*
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  • 07may0707may07
    ((hugs))  IF is so unfair.
    *P/SAIFW* TTC since 1/08 Clomid, 2 IUIs, 4 IVFs, FET 7 losses Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • pennylanehdpennylanehd
    I think your feelings are completely normal...try not to be too hard on yourself for feeling the way you do.  Big (((hugs)))!
    TTC since 11/09
    Two C/P and Lots of Tests
    Me = LPD + cancer survivor, DH = low count and morphology
    IUIs #1-5, January 2011 - June 2011 = BFN
    IVF #1 in July/August 2011 = BFP!!!!!
    image

    BabyFetus Ticker
    "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear."
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  • Delta04Delta04 member
    Thanks for the support guys - IF is just so unfair. 
    TTC since 3/07. IVF#1 = canceled. IVF#2 = 0% fertilization. IVF#3 = BFN. IVF#4 = c/p.  
    Moving forward with Adoption 2017!
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  • sterpstra10sterpstra10
    IF sucks!  We just found out that my SIL (who knew we had a m/c and still decided to tell us she was pg 8 days after our loss) is due ONE DAY before we were due.  All her "milestones" are going to be sooooo hard.  Hang in there!
    TTC since 11/2009
    11/2010 DH SA good...01/2011 HSG is clear...01/2011 Consult with RE
    suprise BFP but m/c on 2/7/11
    03/2011 50 mg clomid=BFN
    04/2011 clomid+bromocriptine+IUI=BFP at 11dpiui
    Beta #1(11dpiui)=33, Beta #2 (13dpiui)=96, Beta #3 (20dpiui)=1910, Beta #4 (26dpiui)=20,134
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • DeputiesWifeDeputiesWife
    ::hugs::

    TTC #2 since June '08

    ~*DD 10.21.07*~

    dx unexplained

    IUI #1-4 BFN

    IVF#1 June 2011 BFN

    IVF#2 Dec 2011

    Beta#1 12/21 : 812 Beta#2 12/23 : 1634

    EDD 8/25

    *PAIFW/SAIFW*

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  • Delta04Delta04 member

    imagesterpstra10:
    IF sucks!  We just found out that my SIL (who knew we had a m/c and still decided to tell us she was pg 8 days after our loss) is due ONE DAY before we were due.  All her "milestones" are going to be sooooo hard.  Hang in there!

    My goodness - I am so sorry.  Of course we can't expect for our family and loved ones to stop living as we go through this IF journey, but it still doesn't make it any easier either.  ((HUGS)) to you too.

    TTC since 3/07. IVF#1 = canceled. IVF#2 = 0% fertilization. IVF#3 = BFN. IVF#4 = c/p.  
    Moving forward with Adoption 2017!
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  • sterpstra10sterpstra10
    Thanks, hun!  So good to know we are not alone, right?  :)
    TTC since 11/2009
    11/2010 DH SA good...01/2011 HSG is clear...01/2011 Consult with RE
    suprise BFP but m/c on 2/7/11
    03/2011 50 mg clomid=BFN
    04/2011 clomid+bromocriptine+IUI=BFP at 11dpiui
    Beta #1(11dpiui)=33, Beta #2 (13dpiui)=96, Beta #3 (20dpiui)=1910, Beta #4 (26dpiui)=20,134
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Jlynn3Jlynn3
    (((hugs))) The unfairness of IF really does suck
    SAIFW
    TTC since 2008 dx PCOS & MFI
    Clomid/Femara no "O"
    IVF #1 BFN
    FET #1 cancelled for biopsy
    FET #1.2 c/p, July 2012 c/p
    IUI #1 & 1.2 canceled
    IVF #2 ER 12/1, Freeze all due to OHSS
    FET #2.1 cancelled due to DVT risk, FET #2.2 Jan 2013
    my blog
    image
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  • Delta04Delta04 member

    imagesterpstra10:
    Thanks, hun!  So good to know we are not alone, right?  :)

    Absolutely!

    TTC since 3/07. IVF#1 = canceled. IVF#2 = 0% fertilization. IVF#3 = BFN. IVF#4 = c/p.  
    Moving forward with Adoption 2017!
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  • Edwina.McDunnoughEdwina.McDunnough
    Hugs Delta. It will be your turn soon.
    +++
    Report Reply
  • naybirdnaybird

    You have every right to feel that way.  Life can be so unfair. Have your pity party, you deserve to.  Right now, I don't go to baby showers. Personally, I think they are too hard for me right now and I need to take care of myself.. first and foremost.. The only one I may attend is my cousin, who has battled IF, and got pregnant on her 5th IUI.

    I'm sorry you have to go through this.. Big hugs.. IF sucks.. it just plain sucks...

    Renee- 37 DH - Chad - 39
    2/06 - surprise pregnancy - twins
    3/06 - m/c 1st baby at 6 weeks 
    5/06 -2nd baby had no heartbeat at 14 wks.
    D&E - Bled out. Blood transfusions. Week in ICU - Cheated Death!
    Diagnosis: Blood clotting and bleeding disorder, immune issues, & cervical stenosis
    5/10 - 1st IVF cycle - BFN
    FET - 10/12/10 - BFN
    1/11 - IVF with PGD - BFN
    IVF - May - BFN
    6/11 New RE - fingers crossed!
    9/11 - IVF - 4 transferred
    10/13 - BFP!!
    It's a boy! Clint Michael, Due in June!!!

    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker





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