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March 2011 Moms
Your Kidding Me Right? MIL Vent
So last night when we were told we are going to be induced starting wednesday night we started calling the family to let them know. Cool, everyone is super excited and happy for us understanding all our wishes and blah blah blah.
Well we call my MIL and tell her, apparently she got it in her head taht she would be there the second the baby popped out... Ummmmm no that first hour is for me and my husband to spend bonding with our baby and to get her to latch on and start to breast feed. that is super important to me that this happens.
well my mom is going to be in the room for delivery, i need her there, she is going to be such great support for me AND for my husband so im comfortable with the fact that she will be in there and seeing everything and being able to see Morrighan with us for that hour, totally ok with me. MIL is throwing a fit because my mom will be in there for the delivery and im sorry but no one but my mother my husband the dr and the nurses need to see my V-Jay. >.< not to frikkin mention that i cant try and breastfeed my baby or start that process anyway with hands trying to grab at her and touch her and all that jazz.
It really bugs me that she is being such a toddler about this. i figure she would understand that hey maybe it's ok expecially since it's so important to me to BF. idk what to say to her but im not changing the fact that MY mother will be in the room with us the whole time. i need her there.
Any suggestions as to how i can talk to her? Should i even try and talk to her? DH doesnt know what to say to her. SOS PLEASE!
"'Cause baby you're a firework Come on, show 'em what you're worth Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh" As you shoot across the sky-y-y. Baby, you're a firework Come on, let your colors burst Make 'em go "Oh, Oh, Oh" You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe" KP
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Your Kidding Me Right? MIL Vent
Can you let her in the room after the baby is born with the condition that you are focusing on breastfeeding and that you don't want anything to distract you while that takes place? If your reason for your MIL not being in the room is that you want the first hour to be just about the 3 of you, having your mother in there isn't going to come off as fair regardless of how you put it. I'm not sure how you can go about talking to her about this. Good luck
Im thinking i might do that but honestly if she wants to stay i dont have a problem with that either, my mom will be happily taking pics for us and calling other family and she know's how to be a picture on a wall so to speak but im thinking to avoid drama i might have to give her the boot. i think ill let DH decide...
This. I'd kick your Mom out of the room.
I have no advice, but I am in the same situation! It has gotten so ugly that my mom has agreed to wait until the baby is out to come in the room. She was looking forward to the whole experience, but doesn't want to make it stressful for us. I'm sure it upsets her, but she won't let me know. This crushes me because I know she would be helpful for me through labor, and she would allow us to have our private moments too. MIL thinks this baby is all about her and would change the whole mood- not to mention I wouldn't allow her to see my vagina or be there when I BF.
I think I may have just hubby and I throughout labor, but if I decide I want my mom in the midst of it all, she's coming in there damnit! And MIL is not invited till we're given the "all clear" for visitors!
Obviously everyone has their opinion, and everyone has a different relationship with their mom and MIL, but I don't get why people think mom and MIL are equal? I know it's about the baby and it's a family experience. But I look at it as: I am the patient. (you know- ME the MOM, the one that carried this kid for 40 friggin weeks and is now gonna get my vagina torn open to bring him into this world?!) If my hubby was giving birth, i'd expect he'd want HIS mom and not mine in there.
I was in THIS EXACT SITUATION! I had my boyfriend talk to his mother and explain that it was going to be just the family to bond time and that they could come later. She finally gave in.
As for my mother in the delivery room, she was there to take pictures and stood back so that my boyfriend could be my support and could be there for the baby. She didn't even step forward to hold the baby until we felt it was okay and we let her know. I am an only child and my mom means a lot to me. My boyfriend's mom has two daughters of her own and after boyfriend was frank with her about it she finally got over it... I think. I don't care either way. It is our life and this is how we wanted it.
Ick I'm sorry you're dealing with this so close to your induction date! Honestly its your birth experience and you have the right to have it any way you want, you shouldn't feel like you have to explain or justify anything. I would just simply say "my mother will be in the room with me during the delivery and after and when we are ready for visitors DH will let everyone else know." If she has a problem with it thats her issues.
The last thing you want is to feel regret later about the people you had in the delivery room with you.
Diagnosed with PCOS March '10 - Started 1000mg of Metformin
After 3 unsuccessful Clomid cycles, FSH+Ovidril+IUI+Progesterone=BFP!
Time to make Emilie a big sister!
May '16 2.0: Letrozole+FSH+Menopur+Ovidril+IUI+Progesterone=BFP! first beta-45.44, second beta-148
Thank you for all the wonderfull support and advice ladies i appriceate it!
I can't believe anyone gives in to their MIL's in this situation!! You (we, the women) are the patients here. We are spread eagle and naked giving birth in this situation. If I wanted my mom there, she would be there. Period! My MIL would never be in there with us. I love her to death, but she's not seeing me that way.
This is about you and you are the patient. Do not give in. If you want your mom there and not MIL, then so be it. Ask your DH what he would want if he was the one going through the actual birth. I'm sure he wouldn't be keen on having your mom there either!