Creepy BIL

PrincessLinLin · March 2011

Ok so my BIL just recently turned 18 and according to his family has always been socially awkward. We've had some issues in the past that got out of hand with him being very inappropriae towards me. Those issues were resolved for the most part but recently it feels like he is testing the boudaries again. Oh I should mention we live with him and my MIL while our apartment is still under construction. He will randomly walk up to me and hug me or poke me. He always just stands too close for comfort. I tell him to back off all the time but it doesn't seem to stick with him. DH told me to try and avoid being alone with him because my MIL thinks I feed into it. I'm just lost on how to get through to him without being the super mega biitch. Any suggestions? TIA!

emily0829 · March 2011

Feed into it by what, not sucker punching the dude when he touches you? Please.

Your H needs to be the one to SERIOUSLY address the issue, if what you're saying is true, and it is unwarranted. This especially, since you can't up and move out right this second.

What a creepo.

AvidVertigo · March 2011

I would just tell him that you feel uncomfortable and that he needs to stay out of your bubble or your hormones might eat him for supper. LOLz Stick out tongue

PrincessLinLin · March 2011

He's just too weird for words. I also have to tell him constanly to not get in DS's face. He is always hugging and kissing his mom even though she tells him to back off. I had DH talk to him once before when he was acting inappropriate and they got physical. BIL ended up with a black eye and still did not get the message.

Sept1799 · March 2011

Just courious but is he normal or does he have something going on mentally? My cousin did that to my mom when we visited them but he was not normal and had some idenfied mental issues.

I would try to stay away from him as much as possible.

When is your apt ready for you to move in?

Is there somewhere else you can go in the mean time?

emily0829 · March 2011

PrincessLinLin:
He's just too weird for words. I also have to tell him constanly to not get in DS's face. He is always hugging and kissing his mom even though she tells him to back off. I had DH talk to him once before when he was acting inappropriate and they got physical. BIL ended up with a black eye and still did not get the message.

Well now it kind of sounds like that it goes beyond just "socially awkward" if he isn't changing after an apparent black eye. The repeated behavior and the social awkwardness really lead me to believe that he should at least be looked at for Asperger Syndrome. I'm not a doctor, but something is clearly not right.

Has anyone ever considered something like this before?

PrincessLinLin · March 2011

Sept1799:
Just courious but is he normal or does he have something going on mentally? My cousin did that to my mom when we visited them but he was not normal and had some idenfied mental issues.
I would try to stay away from him as much as possible.
When is your apt ready for you to move in?
Is there somewhere else you can go in the mean time?

I've asked if he has some sort of defect and they say that is just how he is, so he could possibly have some undiagnosed condition. Our appartment will hopefully be ready by the end of April but I'm not totally sure. Nowhere else to go really.

abc123xyzandsoforth · March 2011

Wow, I guess tb is very easy to forgive and forget. That sucks your BIL makes you uncomfortable... of course, not catastrophe uncomfortable... you poor dear.

margotmacomber · March 2011

abc123xyzandsoforth:
Wow, I guess tb is very easy to forgive and forget. That sucks your BIL makes you uncomfortable... of course, not catastrophe uncomfortable... you poor dear.

I was just coming in to ask when everyone started taking this chick seriously again.

PrincessLinLin · March 2011

margotmacomber:
abc123xyzandsoforth:
Wow, I guess tb is very easy to forgive and forget. That sucks your BIL makes you uncomfortable... of course, not catastrophe uncomfortable... you poor dear.
I was just coming in to ask when everyone started taking this chick seriously again.

like 2 days ago, sorry you didn't get the memo.

doremi29 · March 2011

PrincessLinLin:
Sept1799:

Just courious but is he normal or does he have something going on mentally? My cousin did that to my mom when we visited them but he was not normal and had some idenfied mental issues.

I would try to stay away from him as much as possible.

When is your apt ready for you to move in?

Is there somewhere else you can go in the mean time?

I've asked if he has some sort of defect and they say that is just how he is, so he could possibly have some undiagnosed condition. Our appartment will hopefully be ready by the end of April but I'm not totally sure. Nowhere else to go really.

I'm no psychologist, but boundary issues and awkward social skills could be on some level of the Autism Spectrum even just at a mild level. We have many students that do things like what you're talking about. Some of them have an Asperger's label and some aren't labeled at all. Or he could just be creepy I would firmly explain your boundaries and avoid contact!!

emily0829 · March 2011

Cassie730:
PrincessLinLin:
margotmacomber:

abc123xyzandsoforth:
Wow, I guess tb is very easy to forgive and forget. That sucks your BIL makes you uncomfortable... of course, not catastrophe uncomfortable... you poor dear.

I was just coming in to ask when everyone started taking this chick seriously again.

like 2 days ago, sorry you didn't get the memo.

You are in denial. Just because 5 people are dumb enough to think you know what you're talking about doesn't mean that you're taken seriously. Some people just post because they like to post not because you need legitimate help. And a lot of the advice you're getting isn't good advice in the first place. You're his fvcking SIL and YOU are supposed to have him evaluated for Aspergers syndrom and he's also what...18? This is all ridiculous.

PS- I'm glad to see you at least took the Red Cross Banner down. Tacky biitch.

I'm not bored, nor am I naive.

I never said that SHE needed to get him tested for Aspergers. Where did I say that? I said I wasn't a doctor, but it sounded more than just socially awkward IF what she is saying is true.

emily0829 · March 2011

Cassie730:
emily0829:
Cassie730:
PrincessLinLin:
margotmacomber:

abc123xyzandsoforth:
Wow, I guess tb is very easy to forgive and forget. That sucks your BIL makes you uncomfortable... of course, not catastrophe uncomfortable... you poor dear.

I was just coming in to ask when everyone started taking this chick seriously again.

like 2 days ago, sorry you didn't get the memo.

You are in denial. Just because 5 people are dumb enough to think you know what you're talking about doesn't mean that you're taken seriously. Some people just post because they like to post not because you need legitimate help. And a lot of the advice you're getting isn't good advice in the first place. You're his fvcking SIL and YOU are supposed to have him evaluated for Aspergers syndrom and he's also what...18? This is all ridiculous.

PS- I'm glad to see you at least took the Red Cross Banner down. Tacky biitch.

I'm not bored, nor am I naive.

I never said that SHE needed to get him tested for Aspergers. Where did I say that? I said I wasn't a doctor, but it sounded more than just socially awkward IF what she is saying is true.

Even if this is a real situation (which it's probably not) there is no advice necessary. She's already said they've got nowhere else to go and she's staying there regardless. She doesn't need advice and no one needs to speculate about where this kid falls on the autism spectrum. He's 18. He's probably had more than one evaluation in his lifetime. Can things go undiagnosed? Yes. But is it even relevant? No. He's probably not even a real person.

You could be right.

I don't want to pick an argument with you anyway, especially not after we got along regarding bullying. We were doing so well.

soko987 · March 2011

PrincessLinLin:
I'm just lost on how to get through to him without being the super mega biitch. Any suggestions? TIA!

::snort::

Tell him to fvck off. You had no problem telling millions of other people to do the same. What's one more?

emily0829 · March 2011

Cassie730:
emily0829:
Cassie730:
emily0829:
Cassie730:
PrincessLinLin:
margotmacomber:

abc123xyzandsoforth:
Wow, I guess tb is very easy to forgive and forget. That sucks your BIL makes you uncomfortable... of course, not catastrophe uncomfortable... you poor dear.

I was just coming in to ask when everyone started taking this chick seriously again.

like 2 days ago, sorry you didn't get the memo.

You are in denial. Just because 5 people are dumb enough to think you know what you're talking about doesn't mean that you're taken seriously. Some people just post because they like to post not because you need legitimate help. And a lot of the advice you're getting isn't good advice in the first place. You're his fvcking SIL and YOU are supposed to have him evaluated for Aspergers syndrom and he's also what...18? This is all ridiculous.

PS- I'm glad to see you at least took the Red Cross Banner down. Tacky biitch.

I'm not bored, nor am I naive.

I never said that SHE needed to get him tested for Aspergers. Where did I say that? I said I wasn't a doctor, but it sounded more than just socially awkward IF what she is saying is true.

Even if this is a real situation (which it's probably not) there is no advice necessary. She's already said they've got nowhere else to go and she's staying there regardless. She doesn't need advice and no one needs to speculate about where this kid falls on the autism spectrum. He's 18. He's probably had more than one evaluation in his lifetime. Can things go undiagnosed? Yes. But is it even relevant? No. He's probably not even a real person.

You could be right.

I don't want to pick an argument with you anyway, especially not after we got along regarding bullying. We were doing so well.

LoL you know how it goes on TB...besties one post enemies the next. You might not be bored but I truly am. I don't ever try to pick fights I just say whatever comes to mind.

I don't try to pick fights either, but I tend to argue about ridiculous things.

I don't have work to do, but I can't say that I'm bored. I finished my book, posted on TB, e-mailed some friends... it's been quite the productive morning. Are you at work?

emily0829 · March 2011

Cassie730:
emily0829:
I don't try to pick fights either, but I tend to argue about ridiculous things.
I don't have work to do, but I can't say that I'm bored. I finished my book, posted on TB, e-mailed some friends... it's been quite the productive morning. Are you at work?

Yup. And I do actually have work to do but I like to avoid it because it's boring as well. I actually get pissed when work gets in the way of my bumping. I'm very grateful for my job but it's by no means my dream job. It's just a paycheck. I work four 10 hour days and then I'm off Friday, Sat, Sunday so I should be thanking my lucky stars to get the time off with DS but part of me still always wonders if I should have gone for something I loved instead of settling into an easy profession just because I'm "good" at it. Oh well :-)

I'm envious of people in their dream job in this economy.I like my job, I'm grateful for it, but it's not my dream job either. It pays well enough, and the people are generally great. But still.

What's your dream job?

PrincessLinLin · March 2011

AshPal61:
PrincessLinLin:
Sept1799:

Just courious but is he normal or does he have something going on mentally? My cousin did that to my mom when we visited them but he was not normal and had some idenfied mental issues.
I would try to stay away from him as much as possible.
When is your apt ready for you to move in?
Is there somewhere else you can go in the mean time?
I've asked if he has some sort of defect and they say that is just how he is, so he could possibly have some undiagnosed condition. Our appartment will hopefully be ready by the end of April but I'm not totally sure. Nowhere else to go really.
Ouch...you make it sound like he's a piece of stereo equipment.

I wasn't sure how else to phrase it. I think he may have a problem. My DH and SIL aren't nearly that awkward and they were all raised together so I can't really blame the environment.

robinsokj · March 2011

PrincessLinLin:
AshPal61:
PrincessLinLin:
Sept1799:

Just courious but is he normal or does he have something going on mentally? My cousin did that to my mom when we visited them but he was not normal and had some idenfied mental issues.
I would try to stay away from him as much as possible.
When is your apt ready for you to move in?
Is there somewhere else you can go in the mean time?
I've asked if he has some sort of defect and they say that is just how he is, so he could possibly have some undiagnosed condition. Our appartment will hopefully be ready by the end of April but I'm not totally sure. Nowhere else to go really.
Ouch...you make it sound like he's a piece of stereo equipment.
I wasn't sure how else to phrase it. I think he may have a problem. My DH and SIL aren't nearly that awkward and they were all raised together so I can't really blame the environment.

You have a heart of gold.

With poop on it

amykins1283 · March 2011

Sounds like he is "on the spectrum" so to speak (probably mild Aspergers). There isn't really much you can do if that is the case because it would be up to him (since he is an adult) to make the decision to be evaluated. I would just keep on explaining and redirecting him. People with Aspergers just don't get social cues so it probably won't sink in but that's pretty much the only thing you can do. Try not to hold it against him too much if it seems to really be a case of him just not understanding.

lmpdjc · March 2011

robinsokj:
PrincessLinLin:
AshPal61:
PrincessLinLin:
Sept1799:

Just courious but is he normal or does he have something going on mentally? My cousin did that to my mom when we visited them but he was not normal and had some idenfied mental issues.

I would try to stay away from him as much as possible.

When is your apt ready for you to move in?

Is there somewhere else you can go in the mean time?

I've asked if he has some sort of defect and they say that is just how he is, so he could possibly have some undiagnosed condition. Our appartment will hopefully be ready by the end of April but I'm not totally sure. Nowhere else to go really.

Ouch...you make it sound like he's a piece of stereo equipment.

I wasn't sure how else to phrase it. I think he may have a problem. My DH and SIL aren't nearly that awkward and they were all raised together so I can't really blame the environment.

You have a heart of gold.

With poop on it

dies/

Unknown · March 2011

This content has been removed.

abc123xyzandsoforth · March 2011

Emily... weren't you going out (separated from your DH) with him and some friends and hoping to see your DH hook up with someone? His 1 hall pass? Did it happen? Did you get to see him with another woman? -not snarkin', just curious- PnR busy day

yankeebaby2 · March 2011

abc123xyzandsoforth:
Wow, I guess tb is very easy to forgive and forget. That sucks your BIL makes you uncomfortable... of course, not catastrophe uncomfortable... you poor dear.

Speaking of forgiving and forgetting, are you the one that held up a goodwill at gunpoint?

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