Anyone run swing shifts with DH?

mwhite5283 · March 2011

Just a hypothetical potential - anyone have a work relationship where you work days and DH works swing? How is it on the family - how do you make it work so you still have quality time?

tobykitty · March 2011

This is us! I work 4 10 hr shifts from 6am-4pm. I then race home (about 10mins) so Dh can race out the door to get to his job. gets home after I'm asleep. The key is having a weekend together. Our "weekends" are tues and wed. We also have most of monday together before he goes to work. We have done this for years and it really works out w/ not having to pay for childcare. We spend quality time together and really value our time off. It is sometimes hard for me because I only get a few hrs of time w/ LO and get to be the one to put her to bed every night, but it just makes my days off so much more fun. HTH and sorry if I rambled.

KNemo · March 2011

Are you going to still have weekends together for the most part, or is schedule going to be so up in the air that you don't know?

DH and I lived this life for the bulk of our relationship. He always worked between the hours of 2 and 12 midnight, and I always worked a 7-4 schedule. He also had odd weekends like Wednesday and Thursday or Sunday and Monday. We would make the most of days that we had together.

Luckily, when Max was born, I worked at home. I would still be able to spend a little bit of time with them (on my lunch) before DH went to work, but nights were rough. The benefit is that Gigi isn't an infant anymore. But it is really hard to make the time for each other and the family.

We always made sure that we did something together on "our" weekend. We unplugged and went to museums, the zoo, out to lunch or dinner, to the farmers market, to the park. The time that we had together was precious and we didn't want to spend it on devices or plugged in! We also made sure to try and get away whenever we could. It was great to recharge and just have time as a family, without anyone or anything bothering us.

I hope you don't have to live this scenerio, but it is doable! GL!

cwhip77 · March 2011

I've always worked opposite schedules from my husband as well. Right now he works days, I work nights. It's not so bad now because I work part time, so I have 3 nights off during the week, and we have weekend days when he's off and before I head to work together as well. On the days we both work we see each other for about 20 minutes between our two jobs.

Sometimes it's hard, but for the most part I think it really does make you appreciate each other more. That whole absence makes the heart grow fonder stuff.

MrsEditorJax · March 2011

Pre-kids we both worked evening/nights. Now he works from about 12-8 (sometimes at home after 6) and on game nights he can be gone as late as 11, mainly during football season, while I work at home during the day. Fortunately, I stay up late, otherwise we wouldn't see each other much. It does work, and we do stuff on the weekends, too.

itskacie · March 2011

We don't necessarily work opposite shifts but my schedule has always been "set" and his fluctuates. He is always asleep when I leave in the morning and at least 2 days a week he comes home after I go to bed. I am also always home at least 2 hours before him so the majority of the Cam care taking is my role in the evenings. He does get her up and to daycare in the AM's though. We rarely have a day off together since he works most weekends and only usually takes one week day off. It has been this way since we first started dating though so I am used to it. It sucks sometimes because we don't get much family time but we each do get a lot of alone time with Noodle so that is worth it

LittleSteph · March 2011

My H works 'normal' hours and I work 7p-7a at a hospital. It works great for our family, but I suffer in that I lose a lot of sleep, being up w S all day then working all night. I've been working nights for a ling time and, with the pay differential, It'snot worth it for me to go to days. Plus, I can't imagine missing 13-15 hours a day w S. It is best for us right now. We see each each other a lot...since I work 12's, I work 2-3 nights a week and the rest of the week we spend evenings together.

kaskade · March 2011

DH works days, I work swings. Weekdays are tough, but I was able to move my shift forward so I get off at ten instead of midnight now. So we at least get an hour or so before he goes to bed - it helps that DH stays up late.

The nice part is I work 4 10's, so I get three days off and can make sure our two days off together are full of family time.

It's great for K, she gets me in the morning, DH at night and not as much daycare as she might if we both worked full time days.

*Bloom2be* · March 2011

DH and I have been working opposite shifts since before we got married. I have generally worked nights and he's worked days. I am now on an early morning shift (4am-2pm) and he's still on his regular 9(ish)-6:30 pm (ish) shift. It has been tough at times, especially since we don't get regular 'weekends' together, just a day off here and there to spend together. We try to have quality time on my days/nights off when I'm not going to bed way before him and on the few random days we get off together here and there.

The good part is, Hudson only has to be in daycare 2 days per week with this set up. So we are saving a ton of $ and he gets a lot of quality time with us each separately. The down side is I usually do dinner/bed time on my own (H goes to bed right as DH gets home most nights) and DH has to do mornings/drop offs all on his own. We are getting used to it though and it seems to be working out ok! GL if this is what you have to do.. it can be rough but is definitely doable

IdahoGirl · March 2011

I didn't realize there were so many of us on the board! I know that Kim and Coreen's husbands work different shifts too.

Jim works nights (starting anywhere from 5 pm to 9 pm - it changes every week) and I work 7 - 3:30. With Madelyn, the toughest part was having night shift *every*single*night* and then rushing home to get dinner ready and get Jim out the door.

With both kids, the absolute toughest part is bath/bedtime. It is a challenge, to say the least, to get them both ready for bed and in bed when they're both fussy and Madelyn is expecting (and deserves!) to continue story time and rocking time like she did before brother came along.

The next toughest part of us is Saturdays. Jim comes home from work and doesn't go to bed and is up all day. Naturally, when you've been up for 36 hours, you're not as energetic or light hearted as you would normally be. He feels bad that he's not on his A game, but he doesn't want to miss any time with the kids.

Honestly - if there's one thing I could change about our family, it would be that he worked a normal 8 - 5 shift.

skenyon · March 2011

My DH works 4 10's which include weekends. I SAH so right now it's not so bad. I do wonder about next year when L starts preschool because the morning is their time together, and they wont get that if L has to be at school @ 9-9:30.

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Anyone run swing shifts with DH?

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