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Parenting after 35
Newbie here needing advice about planning 3rd baby!
Hi guys! My name is Camille and I have a question
that I need help with. I have a DS who just turned 3 and a DD who is
nine months. We are entertaining the idea of having a 3rd and I'm
starting to think that I don't want to wait too long, that I want to get
it over with so to speak. I'm already 38 years old and I don't think I
have too much more time, besides that getting older an having kids
makes you even more tired. But something is still stopping me, such as I
still have 18 pounds of baby weight I haven't lost yet. I'm not trying
that hard but still, it's harder now to lose it even though I'm still
BF. The other thing is that we have a little house in which my babies
are already sharing a room. We are doing work on our house in which we
might eventually expand and add another room, but that would still mean
only 2 rooms for 3 kids. And moving is not an option, My DH found this
place on the river and I know for a fact that this is where we are
settling for a long time. So what are everyone's thoughts on this, I'm
very interested in knowing what ya'll think.
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Re: Newbie here needing advice about planning 3rd baby!
Welcome to the board.
I think that this is something only you can decide... If it is something you feel deep inside then you'll find a way to make it work, but if something is "still stopping" you then it sounds like your gut is wanting you to think really hard before you decide!
38 is not that old...
If you feel like you're rushing it, that probably means give it more thought.
From what I understand, fertility problems can crop up as you get older, but that doesn't mean they *will* crop up. I'm 43, and my losses all happened in a span from my early twenties to my mid-thirties, then everything was fine with no interventions.
For the house size, it might be okay once there's an extra room! Can you plan to eventually add two rooms instead of one?
Hi! Like the others said, this is obviously a very personal decision, but I can share my own perspective if you like. For me, I think you still have a couple years to make a decision on this. I am going to be 40 this November and I still haven't decided whether I am ready to have one more or if we are going to stop with 2. The main factor for me relative to my age is concern about the greater likelihood of chromosomal abnormalities and whether I am willing to take that risk - and obviously that decision will be different for everyone. I would probably have a harder time considering a third baby in a smaller house - I always had my own room as a kid and that just seems normal to me, so I would want enough space for my kids to have their own rooms. And I'd probably be concerned about having a baby and an older child in a room together if you aren't able to do your addition right away. But that is also definitely going to vary per person so I'm sure you could make it work if you had to.
My 3 boys are close in age because we did not want to wait until we were older. Wanted to be done by 36. I am questioning having a 4th (will be 38 this year)- we only have a three bedroom & two of the boys share a room already & they love it.. actually they would love their baby brother in their room too ; ) My boys are 3 1/2 yrs apart from oldest to youngest & I love it.. but it is insanely busy. But I would not trade this for anything. I never questioned having the third.. I just felt there was still room in our hearts & family for the third (he is awesome!). I do waver on having the 4th... so most likely won't.