if you have fraternal twins via IVF

monkski · March 2011

Do you ever feel weird calling your babies twins? Mine were conceived via IVF and if we didn't implant two, then they both wouldn't be here. It was our choice and they very well could've been born years apart if we would've waited and done the second one later. They are essentially just siblings, but that is also the case for any fraternal twins conceived spontaneously I suppose. I often notice that I don't call them the twins...to me, they are just the babies. I guess I sometimes feel like I'm in the "club" because I know someone, not because I really belong - if that analogy makes any sense.

Not that it really makes any difference, just wondering if anyone else ever thought that way?

daisybride78 · March 2011

I definitely consider them twins, but DH and I have talked several times about how if we had frozen one embryo or the other, that it would be so strange that they could be brothers that are several years apart. I also don't think they are as interesting as identical twins. ID twins just fascinate me!!

I always laugh to myself when people are like, "OMG, were you SO surprised that you were having twins?!" I always say yes, but think, nooo....it was always very probable!

jennie13 · March 2011

no. my babies are twins. It doesn't matter to me how they came to be.

caden · March 2011

I get what you mean, even though I view my kids as twins. I do kinda feel like I cheated since they weren't spontaneous.

jamie217 · March 2011

I agree with previous posters, it doesn't matter how they were conceived, they were in my womb together and will grow up like any other set of twins, I've never thought of them as anything, BUT twins. It sucks that we had to take that route to conceive them, but I fill up on almost a daily basis when I think of how lucky I am and I don't know if that would be the case had I not had to deal with IF and IVF.

RobynK · March 2011

I carried them at the same time and gave birth to them at the same time -- they are twins. My high risk pregnancy was not my imagination, it was because I was carrying twins.

babydontforget · March 2011

No. My twins are just that: twins. They were together in the womb and for their entire lives they'll have the unique experience of having a sibling of the same age. Just like any spontaneous set.

gumiberg · March 2011

i dont think it matters how 2 embryos get into your uterus, at the end of the day you have/had 2 embryos in there...so, that makes them twins.

monkski · March 2011

yeah, I know that they still really are twins, but sometimes I just get to thinking too much :-) thanks for reminding me I'm just being silly!

Temp159135562506975 · March 2011

fraternal twins are no more similar than any other siblings- so what MAKES them twins is that they grew in the same belly at the same time..... so no, I don't feel the way you do - mine are twins for sure

BUT - i rarely call them "the twins"... i call them "the babies" b/c they are my babies (since i have an older son)... i can't call them "the boys" b/c i have 3 boys so if i'm referring just to them- i need to say "twins" or "babies" or their names.

We so rarely say the word "twins" that i realized Griffin had no idea what Twins were until we saw the sesame street twin episode a couple months ago. Now he knows that he has twin brothers- but he had no clue until then.

DH and i don't really think "we have twins" all the time- we just think "we have 2 babies... we have 3 sons".... but i never think that b/c they were concieved with ART that they are any less of twins than spontaneous fraternals.

BeenThere22 · March 2011

monkski:
yeah, I know that they still really are twins, but sometimes I just get to thinking too much :-) thanks for reminding me I'm just being silly!

I don't think you're being silly...I get what you mean (I thnk). It's not that you don't think they're twins...it's just mind boggling to think that if we'd implanted them at seperate times, they'd be the same people. Just at different times and years apart. Which is hard to wrap your mind around. I've thought about it. Hahah.

janjag · March 2011

MrsLee04:
I definitely don't relate. Two babies conceived and born at the same time are twins no matter how you slice it.

This.

nikinikinine · March 2011

I can totally relate! DH and I say all the time that they're just a brother and sister who were born at the same time. I forget sometimes that they are twins, I think it's because they're so so different. I just feel like I have 2 babies at the same time. But I think that attitude helps allow me to let them be individuals and parent them differently according to their needs. At the beginning when I had expectations for them as twins (I.e. They were "the same") I had to do a lot of manipulating and cajoling to parent them simultaneously, now that they're just "the babies" I think I treat them more as individuals.

p.s. I'm by no means saying that all twin parents treat their kids as the same person, I'm saying when we called them the twins as new parents we had preconceived notions of what "twins" meant and, for us, we had to mentally separate them.

floridakat · March 2011

I completely get what you're saying. Part of it for me is that our girls couldn't be any more different if they tried, so it's hard to wrap my head around the fact that they're twins. I think had it been spontaneous, it would feel different. But knowing that we chose to put those two embryos back at the same time makes it feel like we decided that they should be twins, which somehow lessens the "miracle of nature" aspect that surrounds many multiple births.

All that said, I'm beyond thrilled that my girls will have that special bond of being twins, as opposed to "just" being sisters.

Medtwin · March 2011

I agree with alot of the posters.. i actually had 4 embryos implanted & 2 took..soo their twins

gl!!

CV2011 · March 2011

I def know what you are talking about b/c I just said the same thing to my hubby the other night...i never call them the twins...I say the babies...or the boys...I feel the same...I forced them to be twins b.c one could have been born now and if we implanted the other one he could have been born down the line...it's really strange but I totally understand what you are saying.

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