August 2011 Moms

Criticism of Names (Clicky Poll!)

I've only have been given the side eye about my middle name choice. Since I was in high school I've wanted to give my children my maiden name as their middle name.  I learned that this is a common practice in the Philippines and Mexico, and had friends who had maiden names as their middle names. 

My MIL looked at me like this was a crazy idea.  I really don't care what she thinks, and am staying strong in my choice. 

What are other people's experiences?  I am just curious if it is true that a lot of people hear criticism about their baby choices. 

 

[Poll]
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Re: Criticism of Names (Clicky Poll!)

  • Well, I have gotten both extremely positive and extremely negative feedback. Everyone loves the name except my mother, but she's a little crazy anyways.
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  • I'll add a "Mixed Bag" option Smile
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  • For the record, my middle name is my mother's maiden name, when I was younger, I thought it was different, but I liked it and thought it was cool.  No one ever gave me a hard time about it.

    Now, it has become so popular that many people use it now as a first name....My middle name is Parker......so I personally love the idea!!!!!

  • Very cool rpm!
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  • Haven't even picked names yet, but just wanted to say my hubby is an all American boy and his middle name is his mother's maiden name and he loves it!  We've thought about using my maiden name as a mn too!  Don't let her get ya down!
  • I actually took my maiden name as my middle name when i got married and, had it been a boy, we would have made that his middle name as well. I don't see anything wrong with that at all!!!
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  • KD+BCKD+BC member

    I'm a little special snowflake because we haven't picked any names yet! lol

    I wanted to throw in there that I'm an American with Irish roots and my middle name is my mom's maiden name. It's kind of nice to have a piece of her family represented in my name. I didn't always love it because I wanted a pretty, girly mn like all my friends and sister but I do like it now.

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  • My maiden is terrible. IF I had a nice one it would definitely be something to think about. But I wouldn't ever give my baby a middle name of Duque...pronounced Do-kay LOL
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  • We are using my maiden name, Harris, as the babies middle name.  Everyone I have told LOVES the idea.  I don't know if it would have worked with other last names though. 
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  • I really like the idea of using a maiden/family name as a last name.  I would never give a child my last name as a middle name because it's awful, but I do want to use my mom's maiden name.  SO likes the name but doesn't like the idea of two middle names, so not sure what we're going to end up doing!
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  • I am totally against telling anyone IRL what name we choose, but DH keeps randomly throwing out names we are talking about and we get mostly positive feedback...but I don't want any feedback from family or friends!!
                                       
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  • With DS we told everyone his name, and most on DH's side didn't like it - they wanted a traditional Polish name.  My family like it, but it kind of bummed me out that the IL's had such harsh criticism.  This time, we have decided we aren't telling.  We also have no names or clues or what name we like, so that helps.
  • We aren't telling the name. Our name is very different and I'd rather not hear others potential negative opinions, plus I think its a fun secret to keep until the birth :)
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  • H and I won't be sharing our name choices, because we both come from opinionated families. It is our child and we will name him/her what we decided to and people will have to deal with it.

    I originally wanted to be TEAM GREEN but we had so much pressure from our families to find out we are. Since H and I have made the decision to find out I am so exited and am even counting down the days until we find out. But the Name I WILL NOT budge on.

  • We are planning on using my mother's madien name (her last night again because she divorced) as a first name for a boy at tribute to my grandparents who have both passed away and that I adored. But we aren't 100% on anything. H likes my name choices but wont commit yet.

    We wont tell our name until we know the sex of the baby and are 100% set on it. My MIL the other day at my grandmother's funeral reception started listing off "family" names that I should name the baby after because of my due date and those people birthday's or some crap like that... I politely said we wont be using a family name, maybe as a middle name but most likely not.

    My H loves to get feedback from people about what he is going to do. I swear he cant make a decision without calling 12 of his family and friends. (It gets annoying. Especially when he spent the night before he proposed to me driving around the state showing as much of his friends and family my ring before I even said yes. Talk about stealing my thunder! lol). I told him "We made the baby without asking for his mother's help and opinions so we will name the baby without her" =)

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  • I had always planned on keeping the names a secret, but when some ppl asked, I just told them some names we were considering. I decided I didnt like hearing opionions - good or bad. So now we are keeping it to ourselves 100%.

    For what its worth, I like the middle name/last name idea.

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  • I selected we're not telling, but I guess I should have selected special snowflake.

    We aren't telling any family members our name choices. Some of them are just way too opinionated and I just don't want to deal with it. Plus my mom loves to make suggestions and if we tell and she doesn't like our choices, she will not stop with her suggestions.

    I have told a few friends and honestly, kind of regret it. We have two girl names and three boy and I found that the friends wanted to tell me their preference of the list and I don't really want anyone's opinion. I will say that neither of the friends were judgemental, though.

    I want to use my maiden name for a middle name, too. The other option, is that my maiden name means Hunter, so Hunter is one of our boy options.

  • I try to avoid telling, because I don't want to hear it if people have negative feedback. Of the people we've told, we have mostly gotten positive feedback. The only negative feedback we've gotten is from MIL. For a boy's middle name DH wants to use his grandpa's first name (Alvin), which is also his dad's middle name. He is really close to his dad and was close to his grandpa until his grandpa passed about a month ago. MIL has made comments about how much DH hates his middle name of Alvin, but we're using it anyway.
  • We have told people the name of our baby and have gotten only positive feedback.  Maybe I am just telling nice people that are lying to me if they don't like it :-)  I work with babies and have said nice things about a name that I do not like.  I do know my family likes the name but I am not sure about my MIL.  She told my husband that we should just name our baby the boys name we picked out even if it was a girl.  I don't really care though people could tell me they hate the name and it wouldn't change my feelings about the name we picked.

    If I had a better maiden name I would use it for a middle name.  We are using my middle name for the middle name though.  

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  • We are not telling anyone the name we pick. I know it may sound horrible, but I don't really want anyone else's opinion! 

    What is your maiden name? My mother also gave me her maiden name as a middle name and I hated that while growing up. Everyone else had a cute "real" name for their middle name and I had a stupid last name. I'm not criticizing your choice (I bet your maiden name is better than my mom's!), just giving input from someone who's been there! But like I said above, it is your baby and your name. If you are happy with the name, I wouldn't tell anyone -- who cares what they think? 

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  • IMO if people really dont like your baby name, they'll comment whether you tell them pre-delivery or post-delivery. For DD#1 we told as soon as we had an official name. we werent going to change it so we didnt really care about the feedback people gave us. we got all positive feedback.

    for DD#2, right now we are planning on using my mother's maiden name as her middle name (if DH agrees) and i think its a great tradition! if we had a boy i wanted to use my maiden name as a first name

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  • We've told our families our boy choice and have had positive feedback. I've only discussed my girl choices with my best friend because my mind keeps changing back and forth.
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  • I'm a SS. We did not tell with DD, and I hated it. it was really hard to not tell people, and I know I slipped a couple of times. 

    This time, we'll share...as long as we are 100% decided on a name. If we're going into L&D with a list, we won't. Like we have decided on a boy's name, it will not change, so we will share. We haven't talked girl names yet.  

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  • imageMrsMiller1002:
    My maiden is terrible. IF I had a nice one it would definitely be something to think about. But I wouldn't ever give my baby a middle name of Duque...pronounced Do-kay LOL

    I KNOW a former Duque.  She just got married a couple years ago.  I don't know if she was happy to see it go or not, though.

    With DS1 we got terrible feedback.  With this one, everyone knows better.  They can spout off at the mouth about how much they hate the name, but we will put the name we choose (despite the feedback) on the birth certificate. 

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  • I think that if you tell you will get both extremes at some point. It matters most that you and your husband love it. And as someone said in my thread how often are you called your full name. 
  • im not even remotely interested in unsolicited name opinions and therefore our monniker will only be released the day of the birth, even for our nearest and dearest. in fact, family is who we are avoiding the most in telling, lol. 
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  • Interesting results.  I'm sticking with the name Smile 

    I had a relatively uncommon Irish last name so don't know if I should share it here.  It will be used for all children.  DH is on board with it because I explain to him that just because I am female that doesn't mean I want my family heritage to be lost when I have children.  I had a hard time changing my last name, but eventually did it because I want to whole family to have the same last name,  with the compromise that all middle names will be my maiden name.

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  • BK33BK33 member
    I told one person a name we were considering and they made a racial joke about it so I decided not to tell anybody else. FYI Beyonce Knowles' first name is her mother's maiden name and it's beautiful.  Just like you her mother wanted to keep that name in existence in her family.
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  • I've gotten generally positive feedback.  We like the name Jack and it seems hard for anyone to have issue with that.  The only thing my husband and I are debating is the middle name.  My middle name is Lane and it's a family name (it's both my mom's and grandfather's middle name, and it was my great-great grandfather's last name). However, Jack Lane sounds like Jack LaLane, and plus the last name will also be one syllable. So I would like to his middle name to be Watson, my maiden name.  DH isn't quite sure about that, but those I've told really like it.  My reasoning is that Jack is a family name on DH's side (no complaints, the name was my suggestion) and he'll have DH's last name (I use his name, but haven't legally changed it...will get around to it at some point), so I think his middle name should be something of mine.
  • imagetheatrechick:
    I've gotten generally positive feedback.  We like the name Jack and it seems hard for anyone to have issue with that.  The only thing my husband and I are debating is the middle name.  My middle name is Lane and it's a family name (it's both my mom's and grandfather's middle name, and it was my great-great grandfather's last name). However, Jack Lane sounds like Jack LaLane, and plus the last name will also be one syllable. So I would like to his middle name to be Watson, my maiden name.  DH isn't quite sure about that, but those I've told really like it.  My reasoning is that Jack is a family name on DH's side (no complaints, the name was my suggestion) and he'll have DH's last name (I use his name, but haven't legally changed it...will get around to it at some point), so I think his middle name should be something of mine.

    We are of the exact same mind!   When DH was questioning the decision,  I said that we could hyphenate our last names (because it is that important to me).  Given that option,  and my explanation that his family name shouldn't be given preference of my family name,  he agreed.  It look him a while to come around,  but I just reminded him that this has been a discussion topic since before we got married.

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  • Mom doesn't like our boy first name (it's too plain!), but it's part of a naming convention on FI's side.  Everyone likes our boy middle name.

    Mom was "meh" about our girl first name, but I refuse to budge.  And we haven't chosen a middle name yet, but soon-to-be MIL keeps telling me I "have to" choose the middle name she likes, and I hate it and refuse.

    I just have to roll my eyes, lol.

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