Having a meltdown...

JillRock96 · October 2008

I know, I know -- when am I NOT these days? I'm sorry if you are sick of hearing my whine, I just need to let all of this out before I explode.

First, my doctor's appt was oh-so-fun this morning. They scheduled 2 NSTs at the same time (for one machine) AND were running late, so I waited in the waiting room for an hour and a half before starting my appt. My BP was 150/98 -- just wonderful. But, because the baby looks good and my labs from last week came back ok, they are content to let me keep waiting. But -- that super fun 24 hour urine collection that I did last Saturday that they couldn't find the results for on Monday? Yeah -- the hospital screwed up and didn't run the right tests on it. So, next Monday I am looking at another NST, another ultrasound, more bloodwork, and probably another 24-hour urine collection. And I'm now actually on bedrest, not just "taking it easy."

So I walk out of the appt (starving and upset), and my phone has three missed calls from my mom wondering whether they are sending me to be induced. I call her and tell her what happened, and she blows up, telling me how she can't believe that they aren't sending me in with BP that high and how I could have a stroke at any minute. Awesome, mom, thanks for helping to reduce my BP and stress level. I pretty much lost it at that point -- what does she want me to do, induce myself? Send myself to the hospital?

And to top it all off, I am so upset with my very good friend. I e-mailed her last week that I was starting to fall apart and really needed her to call me when she got a chance. Several days later I get a response (through facebook) that she is just sooooo busy, but she has some free time this Friday and would love to stop by to visit me. I can't tell you how much I was looking forward to an afternoon of interaction with someone besides doctors, my dog, and my DH. But she sent me a message this morning (via facebook again) that her family is coming out a day early and she has to cancel, but she can't wait to come over after the baby is born. She is one of my closest friends, and yet she hasn't called me or stopped by to see me in three weeks.

Ok, thanks for letting me have my pity party. Time to snuggle up on the couch for the next four days. At least I'll have plenty of time to wallow!

Jennifer Bliss-Wohlers · October 2008

Awww. Jill. I'm so sorry you're having a rough time! Waiting in limbo is hard enough without others adding to the stress. Your mom needs to be your rock, not fuel for the fire. Tell her that! Your friend is being very selfish. She's not jealous of your being PG, is she? Just a thought from an IF'er.

I'm heading to Providence at 3. Want me to come visit?!?! Stick out tongue Wouldn't be until midnight when I get out of work though! LOL.

I hope it gets better. <<HUGS>> vent anytime.

dejavu · October 2008

you don't go to Broadway OB/GYN by chance? even though i live in MA (No. Attleboro) my dr. is in RI, and i'm not as far along w/ you and have run into some lab problems w/ them.

i am so sorry that you are going through this. it totally sux and the fact that they seem so non chalant about it would drive me nuts. i hope that your day gets better

JustaKidAtHeart · October 2008

Oh hugs. If I loved closer to you I would come hang out with you. Im tired of being home alone. Sadly Im across the country. I think it is time to turn your cell off or change your message to say something to the effect of "this message will be changed if and when something happens. Due to being told to relax all messages will be allowed to go to voice mail and not checked but once a night"

LisaMarisa · October 2008

I'm sorry. It is really frustrating when they tell you a certain thing needs to happen or not happen and then when it does they say "oh that's ok." They did this to me during my NST last week and it is worrysome. Does your doctor perform the NST or do you go somewhere else for it? Did you talk to your doctor? I'm sorry, I know how you feel thinking it could be any day and then disappointed when it isnt. She will be here so soon!! I am using these last few days/weeks to soak up being pregnant and how amazing it actually is. I think I'll miss it when it's over (can't believe I'm saying that).

lolalillie · October 2008

((((HUGS)))) I know that my Mom can make something stressful crank up 1,000 notches! I am so sorry that you are on bedrest and going through all of the tests It stinks that your friend is being so distant in a time that you really need her.

I pray that it gets better soon. Baby Ava will be here soon and this will all be a distant memory. Please take care and know that we are all here for you!

MayDayGirl · October 2008

I'm sorry Jill! My dr told me today if I reach 150/100 they'll send me over to L&D asap to start induction... I agree with your mom Sad They should induce you since you've been so high.

And I'm sorry you're feeling so crappy about this all! And about your poopy friend Sad But we don't have much time left either way and then it'll all be over and we'll have our babies!!

Since I will be induced no matter what (unless I went early on my own) I would love it to be 38w but I keep reminding myself I ONLY have 26 days left until the last possible date they'd let me go.... so hang in there sweety! You only have 19 days till EDD!!!

gambler2100 · October 2008

You're entitled to it. I'm sorry you're feeling overwhelmed and that your mom's concern for you isn't always helping. You're almost there. Try, as you said, to snuggle up on that sofa

JBSugar · October 2008

Aw, I'm sorry honey. Hang in there....it will be over soon! {{Hugs}}

EverAfterinMi · October 2008

ugh!! So frustrating. That is sooo the same place I was the three days before delivery. Just sheer misery. I really hope this baby decides she's tired of waiting to come out and surprises you with a big ole' water break soon.

Hang in there hun. (hugs!!!)

alison43 · October 2008

Oh Jill, sorry you're having such a lousy day. It's so frustrating when nothing goes the way you need it to. And your mom--what a poop! Try not to worry, of course your doctors have your best interests at heart!

Feel better!

JillRock96 · October 2008

Thanks, everyone. I am so frustrated with my doctor's office at this point. It is a big practice (7 docs, I think?), and during pregnancy I have to see all of them, not just my own. So, at every NST (twice a week), I have a different doctor, each with a different idea of what constitutes sending me to L&D. If I had seen my own doc today, I guarantee she would have sent me to be induced... Luckily I am seeing her on Monday, so hopefully something will happen then.

NewportRI2005 -- I'll probably be wide awake at midnight, so come on over!

rispergirl · October 2008

That sucks. You are having a craptastic time of it lately. You need to go home, put on your pjs, snuggle onto that couch and watch some cheesy chick movie or show that will make you cry. I personally love Little House on the Prairie for that. Or almost anything on the Hallmark channel. When I feel like you're describing, a good tv-induced cry can be so satisfying to release the tension and get it all out. Hang in there, girl! I hope you feel better soon.