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Infertility
My sister's baby shower is today
Today is the first of THREE baby showers being held for my younger sister (one of which is on my birthday). This next month is going to be so hard.
Despite being happy for my sister, I can't help but be EXTREMELY JEALOUS! I mean, I am the older sister, married before her...in fact, we started trying right after she got married, thinking her destination wedding would be our last hurrah/'party"/vacation before having kids. Three and a half years later, it is my sister who got pregnant on her second month of trying, and we are still child-less.
The shower is especially going to be difficult after just getting the news on Thursday about my failed IVF. I am very grateful that my sister and family are very supportive and understanding. My sister even told me that she would understand if I didn't want to attend the shower.
But I'd feel HORRIBLE not attending and probably regret it if I didn't go. My sister is my best friend and I can't see missing her celebrations.
I just know this is going to be such a hard day 
and I really hope I don't end up having a breakdown.
Ellen & Chris 5/6/06
-------------------------
TTC Since 10/2007 with no luck and a 'go with the flow' attitude
1/1010 FINALLY decided to have testing done, dx MFI
7/2010 - DH starts Clomid to increase testosterone and hopefully sperm count
10/2010 - Still low (but improved) sperm count.
11/30/10 - IUI #1 and only = BFN
February 2011 - IVF #1 w/ ICSI =
Chemical PG (Beta 1: 10, Beta 2: 19, Beta 3: 17) :-(
April 2011 - IVF #2 w/ ICSI = BFN :-(
September 2011 - IVF #3 w/ ICSI = BFFN
November 2011 - AMH level tested - .83 (normal for age range)
February 2012 - IVF #4 w/ ICSI = (best response ever yet still) BFFN
April 2012 - DNA testing - NORMAL, RE suggests cycling again with own eggs or using DE
On Break indefinitely...not sure we can afford the emotional and financial roller coaster anymore.
*PAIFW/SAIFW*
-------------------------
TTC Since 10/2007 with no luck and a 'go with the flow' attitude
1/1010 FINALLY decided to have testing done, dx MFI
7/2010 - DH starts Clomid to increase testosterone and hopefully sperm count
10/2010 - Still low (but improved) sperm count.
11/30/10 - IUI #1 and only = BFN
February 2011 - IVF #1 w/ ICSI =
Chemical PG (Beta 1: 10, Beta 2: 19, Beta 3: 17) :-(
April 2011 - IVF #2 w/ ICSI = BFN :-(
September 2011 - IVF #3 w/ ICSI = BFFN
November 2011 - AMH level tested - .83 (normal for age range)
February 2012 - IVF #4 w/ ICSI = (best response ever yet still) BFFN
April 2012 - DNA testing - NORMAL, RE suggests cycling again with own eggs or using DE
On Break indefinitely...not sure we can afford the emotional and financial roller coaster anymore.
*PAIFW/SAIFW*
This discussion has been closed.
Re: My sister's baby shower is today
Oh hunny, I am so sorry. It's really great that your family is understanding. Go, show your support, but if it gets to be to much for you, just say you aren't feeling well and leave early. At least then you know you tried and you made an appearance.
You can always come and cry with us on the boards after. Just know we are all here for you. Good luck and take care.
2/06 - surprise pregnancy - twins
3/06 - m/c 1st baby at 6 weeks
5/06 -2nd baby had no heartbeat at 14 wks.
D&E - Bled out. Blood transfusions. Week in ICU - Cheated Death!
Diagnosis: Blood clotting and bleeding disorder, immune issues, & cervical stenosis
5/10 - 1st IVF cycle - BFN
FET - 10/12/10 - BFN
1/11 - IVF with PGD - BFN
IVF - May - BFN
6/11 New RE - fingers crossed!
9/11 - IVF - 4 transferred
10/13 - BFP!!
It's a boy! Clint Michael, Due in June!!!
Hugs! I am so sorry! I think you're brave and strong for going to the shower, and still being so happy for your sister. I honestly don't think I'd have the strength to do that. Good luck today. I'll be thinking about you.
I am so sorry. Baby showers are difficult to attend, especially when it's a younger sibling's. I went to my sister?s shower two weeks ago. Stay strong. The motto I used to get through my sister's shower was fake it till you make it. Your sister will appreciate you being there. GL!
::: Married June 2003:::
TTC #1 since: Aug. 2008
Me: 34, DOR, MTHFR-A1298C (heterozygous), decreased blood flow to uterus, Mild Endo
DH: 38, Balanced translocation 5&10, unexplained MFI, normal SA and SCSA
Tx History: IUI 1&2= BFN
IVF# 1 W/ICSI= BFN
IVF# 2: cancelled d/t no response
IVF# 3= 1 egg retrieved=immature/not viable
IVF# 4= c/p
***CCRM ODWU***
Found DHs BT and Me-decreased blood flow to uterus
Recommended DE IVF w/PGD, incorporate electro-acupuncture. Decided to cycle locally
***New RE***
DE IVF# 1(cycle #6) w/pgd, (freeze all): 30R, 23M, 15F, slow/poor embryo development, 4 biopsied, 1 Normal "Norm"; DE IVF w/PGD, incorporate electro-acupuncture.
IVF# 6: (OE/DS) cancelled
IVF# 7: (OE/DS) 1R, 1M, 1F, arrested day 5
Plan-DE IVF# 2 (cycle #8): DE/DS in May 2015
http://icanhazbabyz.blogspot.com/
so sorry...
3 failed IVF with OE and 2 failed frozen DE cycles
Last fresh hail mary DE cycle starting Feb 2013
PAIF/SAIF always welcome
Two C/P and Lots of Tests
Me = LPD + cancer survivor, DH = low count and morphology
IUIs #1-5, January 2011 - June 2011 = BFN
IVF #1 in July/August 2011 = BFP!!!!!
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear."