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redshoegirl
member
kids and houses
redshoegirl
member
So I read this post the other day. I'm over simplifying (and the original post is worth reading if you have time), but basically some people say that they don't or wouldn't want "evidence that a child lives in their home" - for example, no toys in any living areas. Others argue that it's not just the parents' home and although you may not want to be knee deep in Fisher Price in every room, there's nothing wrong with people coming into your home and instantly realizing that a child lives there.
Then I read this from Lori in the independent play post down below:
Married2MrWright:
Someday, I hope to have a larger home that has at least two living areas (some homes here have three!) so we can have an "adult space" and a "family space" and if there's a 3rd area (typically what they call a "game room" which is in the attic space or basement) then a fully dedicated kid space (other than their rooms).
As you all know, this is similar to what we've done - downstairs, we have our kitchen, a living area, a family room and a dining room, and we've turned the dining room into a playroom and the family room has become the dining room since it's right off the kitchen anyway. We wouldn't have a fully furnished living AND family room regardless, so turning one room into a play area was a no brainer for us - it gives us somewhere to contain the boys' stuff (leaving the rest of the house virtually kid crap free), and since we could close it off at each end with babygates, it's a safe and contained space for when we need to briefly leave them unattended.
It's VERY clear that there are young kids in our home and obviously I don't have a problem with it - it's Will and Dash's home too, and although I like to keep it relatively clean and tidy, it's not a museum. So I guess I was surprised that people might get judgey about the fact that when you walk into our house you see the play area almost right away. I know it's not what everyone would do, but it never occurred to me that people might actually think it was bad - that our house had been overrun with kid stuff.
How do you organize your house? Do you have a kid zone and a non-kid zone? Or is it a free for all? Do you think you'll set up rules to try to keep the house kid stuff free (e.g., one poster mentioned only allowing her future child to have one toy downstairs at a time)? Other points of discussion?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: kids and houses
I agree with the handful of response posts that it really depends on the size of your home. We live in a 1200sq ft townhome and we really don't have the space/luxury to have a dedicated playroom so our living room has a separated baby-gated section for LO to play. I wish it were bigger though but our living room isn't very big.
This play section is the first thing u see when u open the front door but that's because we couldn't put it anywhere else due to lack of space/walls anyway. The living room, dining room, and kitchen is one continuous room--they're along the same 2 walls going from the front door to the back of the townhome--it's like this: open front door and start walking straight, <step> you're in the living room, <step step step step> you're in the dining room <step step> you're in the kitchen <end of first floor>.
We have the spacesaver jumper thing (I linked in the previous post about where to put ur LO when ur in the bathroom) in the kitchen near the edge of the dining room (the two are divided by tile/carpet). And there's no room in his bedroom to play. So yeah, it's not possible IMO for someone to come into a home of this size/layout and not know that we have kids unless I confine him to only playing in his crib or pnp upstairs, which is not an option IMO.
With that said, we have not sold anything. We either have stuff in storage or thrown away junk (I'm a pack-rat by nature, but I purge once in a while) to make room.
OMG, this made me snort with just-you-wait laughter!!!
We do not have a kid zone and non-kid zone... We have a house that we share as a family. Alexa is a big part of our family and we want her to play where we hang out so that we can all spend time together.
Sunroom: We have our TV and couch in our sunroom, which is also crammed with her toys! That said, we put away most toys in a bin that slides under the side table. Her big toys (easy chair, rocking giraffe, piano, doll house, etc) are arranged around the perimiter of the room. She has pretty toys that are cleaned and taken care of, so it looks nice. I think. I like it.
Dining room: We have a very nice table that has placemats and no tablecloth so she won't pull it. We have a gorgeous china hutch and pretty shelf with photos and pretty things. We also have her high chair in one corner and her play kitchen in the other. We stuff all her toys and books into her play kitchen so there aren't things lying around. Eventually we will move her kitchen to the basement when we make that into play room. But for now, we want her playing where we are and where we can watch her. So, having it where it is works for us. For now.
Living room: This room has the least kid stuff... Nice couches, coffee table, entry table, coat rack, beautiful photos on the walls (of our kid, of course). Her baby doll carriage, shopping cart, ride-on toy and tricycle are all neatly parked in the corner of the room. A small chair with her name on it is by the window so she can climb up and look out. Nothing "lying around," everything neatly pushed into the corner. She will play with her toys and then we put them back.
I'll stop there... To a non-kid person, maybe our house has been overtaken by a kid. But to us, it's been overtaken by the most amazing thing that has happened in our lives and the little person who makes us laugh and smile more than anything! Eventually we'll move things to a play room in the basement, but the way things are arranged now works for us now. And most of the time, it's just us three who are here so we are who matters most! :-P
Malia & Dave & Alexa
Happily married since 2-17-08! Three since 9-9-09!
Baby Blog
I would add that I think it's stupid that someone sold their "beloved handmade dining room table" to have more room for her kids to play. I think you have to find a balance between your lives and your kids' lives. Just my 2 cents.
Malia & Dave & Alexa
Happily married since 2-17-08! Three since 9-9-09!
Baby Blog
So true!
And so true again!
We do have a family room in the basement and a more formal living room upstairs (where you enter the house). Our original plan was to keep the living room fairly kid-free, but that hasn't really happened. Mostly because when we do have visitors (usually our parents), we like to hang out in the living room. So we lay down a blanket for Henry and have a bin of toys in there. We fold up the blanket and put it in the corner with the toy bin when we don't have visitors. Mostly we hang out in Henry's room or the family room (where he has a section that we plan to gate in for him to play once he's more mobile) when it's just the three of us.
Yes, I suppose Henry has overtaken the house, as MH made me promise he wouldn't when I was pregnant. But honestly, neither of us cares like we thought we would. It's his house, too, and his stuff deserves to be here as much as ours. It's not like it's everywhere.....just a bin of toys and maybe a bouncy seat or jumperoo in each major room/area (not counting his room and family room, which have more). And besides, it's more convenient for all of us to have toys close at hand wherever we are in the house.
I think this is a really good point. Sure, if you have a 5 bedroom home with 2 living areas and a basement, not having toys and other stuff scattered around is a valid option. But if you have a smaller home? Odds are that at some point it's going to happen. You can try to keep it to a minimum, but it's just not realistic to expect otherwise, even if you have great storage systems.
OMG I know! I try really hard not to be one of those, "*sigh* You'll understand when you have kids....." people but when I read things like this it DOES make me laugh a bit!
I think you made some really good points about wanting to spend time together as a family. We toyed with the idea of making the dining room into Ben's man den and putting the playroom in the tiny bedroom upstairs (where Ben's room currently is) but you know what? We LIKE having Will and Dash right in the middle of things. We LIKE spending time with them and hanging out and just watching them play while we prepare dinner or do other stuff. And that wouldn't happen if we had them shut up in a room upstairs (at least not as organically).
Oh and I totally agree about the table. But to be honest, I read that blog and...well, I think the author and I probably don't really have the same worldview anyway lol.
This was another reason we decided to have the play area right in the middle of all the action downstairs - it's just more convenient. It's hard enough hauling the boys up and downstairs to have naps (since you have to make multiple trips), and I can't imagine it being much fun to have to go up to get a toy, or bring them down for a snack, etc.
It would really depend on the house. Our house has a basement that is finished, but just one big 700sf room. 90% of J's toys are down there.
The rest of our house is pretty much the same as it was before we had a baby. He has a small basket of toys and books upstairs near the kitchen b/c he plays there while I cook, and of course we have a nursery, and the pnp in our bedroom. But otherwise it's just nice to have all his stuff in one area.
Also, our basement furniture is more durable, I admit, I do try to keep him away from our off white furniture and white bedding. Glad he has lots of room to play elsewhere. (and outside too).
This. I don't know what the difference is between a "family room" and a "living room". Which is which? Anyway, we are raising our LO in a 732sf, 2 bed, 2 bath townhome. I guess that makes us awful parents in some people's books. Since our place is so small, we have had to come up with creative solutions. LO's stuff is pretty much everywhere. No clear line of demarcation, whatsoever. As soon as you walk in our front door, we have a little repurposed printer stand. Family photos sit on the top and LO's smaller toys, stuffed animals and books are in canvas bins (with giraffes on them) on the shelf below. We have no dining area. We have our couch, TV, Rainforest Jumperoo, travel lite crib and activity mat all in our living room. The activity mat folds flat and the Jumperoo based kind of collapses a little.
Our 2nd bedroom was originally our office. Our dining table has been turned into a changing table, which now lives in this 2nd bedroom, along with LO's swing and other miscellaneous items. LO's crib is in our master bedroom along with his infant car seat and infant-to-toddler rocker. There is literally about 6 inches of space between the foot of our bed and his crib. LO's clothes are in my closet in plastic drawers that you find at Walmart.
I used to be totally bummed that LO would not have his own room. I was sad that I wasn't able to decorate a "nursery" and do DIY projects for his room. No color schemes or cutesy decor. No glider. No dresser. No changing table. No bookshelf. Nothing. I've (sort of) gotten over it. It would be nice to have a central place for all of LO's things. Our home would look nicer and things would be more organized. Other than that, I don't think we'd spend much time in a nursery. We spend most of our day in the living room and it's not as if I'd ever banish LO to his own room to play while I'm in the kitchen or paying bills or doing laundry.
I'm sure we could better utilitze the space we have, but we'd have to pretty much gut our place and start over. LOL...we don't have the time or energy for that right now so we are making do.
You know, I was raised in small houses (and apartments! seriously, kids in apartments grow up just fine lol) and only ever had one living area, so I don't really quite understand the point of having two of them. I know one is meant to be more formal than the other, but do you really spend your time evenly between the two? Wouldn't you end up defaulting to one or the other unless you were entertaining? Maybe that's what having two living areas is really useful for: people who entertain a lot. Which isn't us lol! Does anyone who has two living areas use them equally (not snarky - genuine question for anyone who has them)?
Maybe part of the reason people are so divided on this issue is because of how they were raised? I wonder if the people who would want to keep their LO's stuff totally separate from the rest of the house grew up in homes that were similarly laid out (presumably larger homes where it was possible)? The places I lived were always small so adults' and children's possessions and activities intermingled as we all interacted during the day, so that's what I'm used to and that's the expectation I have in my own home.
FWIW, it sounds like you're using your space really well to me! And also FWIW, although we do have a nursery (and I'm glad of it since I don't know where else we'd put two cribs), we spend very little waking time there. They pretty much sleep in there - naps and nighttime - and that's it. All playing is done downstairs or out of the house.
Nope. Honestly, I would much rather have a one big living space. I like homes that have the kitchen, dining area, and living area kind of all in once big space on one floor......more social, you know? Our house is from the 50s,and it's a 4-level split-level. The kitchen is actually a separate room with a doorway, which I hate. We rarely use the living room, it's mostly just a room to enter the house through. We only use it for guests, which we have very rarely (just family about once every month or two). I kind of think it's silly to have two separate living spaces myself, but MH bought this house before we met, so I'm stuck with it's non-ideal layout.
This is so true!!
For us we don't have enough space to have a separate play area and honestly I'm not sure I'd be happy with that. DH would like the living room to have less kid stuff but it is what it is
The living room has the toy box thing that Lisa posted about buying her kiddos, it has her kitchen that we made and a small karaoke thing that she LOVES. NOW it also has a baby swing and bouncy seat! Kid stuff EVERYWHERE but since they are at different stages they need different things.
Bella's room has a basket of books and a small basket of toys and her cozy coupe. Grayson's room has a basket of toys too. The only room without toys is our room and even then a few strangle in from time to time.
I like that our kids are where we are, playing, giggling, laughing, loving! I may not always be interacting with them but part of what brings me joy is watching them discover new things on their own.
This would have *never* occurred to me. I guess I'm closer to those who think that NO evidence of kids is sad...
We do have 2 living areas (plus a basement, which I'll touch on in a bit). The "formal" living room currently consists of one bookshelf and a card table overflowing with baby stuff I still need to put away, hah. These are mostly the gifts that we're not going to use and/or I need to return/exchange...otherwise the room is empty. It does have the nicest views in the house, and the most light - it actually would be the perfect area to entertain guests (if we bought a whole other set of couches first!).
Our family room and kitchen is one big open space, and that's where we spend most of our time. We moved the coffee table off to the side and the middle of the room now has E's activity mat and a blanket where we play.
While I would love to have a nice "formal" living room for guests, I really want a dedicated playroom for E on the main floor where he can run around and we can keep the majority of his toys, and be okay if that room looks like a tornado blew through it. We will get a lot more use out of our formal living room space as a playroom than as a living room showpiece, heh.
While we were looking for a house, I fully expected I would turn the dining room into a playroom, but it turns out our dining space isn't suitable for it - and we don't have a good space to eat in otherwise. If we had another bedroom on the main floor that we could use as a playroom, that's what I'd prefer to do instead, but since we don't, <shrug> we're saving our money (ie: not buying furniture for the formal living room) and instead just leaving it empty until E is little older. At that point, I'd expect the toys to mostly be contained in the playroom, and anything that leaves the room will be put back after we're done playing with it. If we have a play kitchen though (and I hope to, some day!), that'll be in/by the kitchen so we can "cook" together
As for the basement, it needs a lot of work and is a whole different story...it's W's man cave right now, and I almost never go down there.
One day, I'd like to completely down-to-the-studs remodel it, so we can get a lot more use out of that space. ...one can dream...
We use the nursery strictly for diaper changes, and occasionally for E to look at his mobile. Even when he does sleep in that room (some day), I don't expect to ever keep a lot of toys in it - just books. Also, it's on the second floor, and I prefer to have him play downstairs near where we are.
...all of that is a long way to say - in our house, the bedrooms (upstairs) are for sleeping in, and we spend awake time together downstairs in the living areas. we will have a playroom, but there will also be evidence of kids probably most everywhere you look - artwork, pictures, the stray toy here and there. in fact, i *want* people to know I have kids (more than 1 someday) as soon as they walk into my house - they are a big part of our lives and who we are! (wow, all my rambling above I summed up pretty well in this last paragraph. thanks if you made it this far, hah)
Chiming in late...our house definitely looks like a kid (and pets!) live here! Her stoller is on the front porch, you come in the door and you're right in our dining/living room where her high chair is as well as a smattering of toys/books. We do keep them picked up at the end of the day...most are in a small cloth bin under a side table and the rest are stashed in a little cabinet that's right in our entry way. She loves to open the door and find her toys in there.
The majority of her toys and books are in her room...and we spend a fair amount of time there each day with her. That said, our home is not big at all and even if she's in her room we can see her (as long as the door is open) from our bathroom and living room.
I grew up in a family of 5 in a small, three bedroom home with one bathroom. The main living space was a dining/living room combo. We were allowed to bring toys/games into that space but when we were done with them they had to be stored back in our bedrooms. We didn't keep our playthings in the main living area. But our home surely looked like three children lived there as our school portraits, artwork, etc. was prominently displayed, etc.
Ideally, when we buy a home, we will want a space that's kid-friendly but an "adult space." This would ideally be the front room of the home, off a formal dining room, and a space that we would use when visiting with friends or family and entertaining guests. I personally feel there is value in teaching children that some spaces are more "formal" and need to be respected in that way. We would also have a more "casual" living area and dining area (eat-in-kitchens are way popular here) and the kids would certainly have their stuff there. It's not that they'd ever be excluded from the more formal (aka "adult") spaces, but there would be an understanding that there is a difference between our more "public" living area and our "private" one. Same goes with a guest bathroom. I won't be keeping kiddie toys, etc. in that bathroom.
Again, all of this is "someday"...for now we're living in a 1300 sq. ft. 3 bed/1 ba home with three adults, a toddler, four small dogs and a cat!
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No way! I grew up in apartments and in a 3-bedroom house shared by 6 adults and some babies... with only one bathroom! Even though I always wished for my own space, it wasn't a bad experience by any stretch of the imagination, and sometimes I miss the coziness and having all my family members so close. I'm pretty sure that's the norm around here anyway. Price of paradise!
I just wanted to add that before we had LB, MH thought we would keep him and his stuff in this one corner of the living room. Now, the entire living room is covered with those colorful mat things, the couches are pushed back to the edges of the room, and it's one big play area.
I think MH was one of those people who didn't want it to look like we are overrun by our kid, but you guys are right, LB does live here too - it's his house and he deserves some space too!
In our bedroom and the office upstairs, there are maybe 2 toys, the rest are in his room or downstairs in the living room, but he even has some toys that live in the kitchen and the car too.
see this is kind of how our house is. It's so small (relative to many "newer" homes - our house is a 1920's cottage style home with small BR/living areas) that it is easier to keep all his toys in one area. We are lucky to have the basement (it was definitely a main selling point) because LO is really able to run around and has plenty of room for bigger indoor toys - very nice in the rainy PNW and I don't mind the constant mess
. I like keeping him downstairs for lots of reasons, and it's where we spend the most time as a family. That way the other small rooms can be used mostly for the intended purposes (Ex. BRs will probably only have bed/clothes and do intend to have our children share a room if we more, and another bonus, I haven't had to babyproof much on the main floor) and it's easier to keep the upstairs areas clean since I don't have a ton of extra stuff to pick up or move.
Funny PP mentioned it - this is A LOT like how my house was arranged as a child. We had a large basement game/play room and didn't spend too much time in other areas of the house. DH's family home has a family room extension that was used the same way. Haha, never thought of how we were probably both drawn to our home's layout because of that (and how lucky we are to have actually found something like that in the older home style we wanted).
i really want to remodel our basement so that we can use it as a playroom! some of the houses we saw were already like that, and I really liked that feature, but unfortunately, not this one.
i'm late to reply - been so busy... but we used to have everything downstairs in our family room/living area (we don't have 2 separate areas like some homes do) but i ended up moving everything to an upstairs room....not so much b/c we wanted her stuff "hidden" but more b/c it was way easier to baby proof the room upstairs than to babyproof the downstairs (with fireplace, marble ledge around the fireplace, etc)...esp since the room just flows into the dining room/kitchen w/o any doors.
i do enjoy not having to pick up downstairs as much when we're expecting people over and i do like being able to close the door and have her contained upstairs now that she is so mobile and such a trouble maker
for me it was more about convenience than hiding any "evidence" of a baby!
Jaime & Brent
Oahu, Hawaii | Sept. 9, 2005
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