Washington Babies

I wish I had said something

I was at the mall earlier today and I overheard a mom being horrible to her young daughter, who was maybe 6or 7. The girl was looking at shoes and her mom snapped at her to put the ugly shoes down and hurry up and kept repeatidly asking her why she was so dumb. I shoud have said something but she looked like the kind of lady that would hit me if I crossed her like on Jerry springer. It's still bothering me. I'm sure she's worse to her at home if she didn't care about being verbally abusive in a public place. I feel really bad for that little girl.
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Re: I wish I had said something

  • I make a point never to judge a mother based on 15 minutes if possible. For all you know the kid could have called her a "fat b1tch" right before you walked by and it may not even be her mom....maybe an aunt or family friend just trying to buy the child some shoes. 
    Mama to Z - 5.5 years, G - 3.5 years, & M - 1.5 years.
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  • It's tough to see something like that.  And it's really tough to wish you reacted differently.  But, honestly, I think not saying anything was the right thing to do.
  • I would not be ballsy enough to say anything.  However, I do not think it is ever acceptable to call a child dumb, especially repeatedly, regardless of your relationship to them or what they might have said to you prior to that.  She would definitely have gotten a side-eye from me for that.
  • As tempting as it would be to say something, keep in mind that if she is verbally abusive on a regular basis and someone calls her on it, chances are she'll just take it out on her kid...  Sad
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  • Instead of saying something to the mother (and I don't really know how you could make that work), maybe consider complimenting the child. Say "I hate to interrupt but I noticed you a little while back and wanted to let you know I really think you had nice manners when you were talking to that clerk. You must be a really special girl".
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  • here's how someone handled it with me one day...I was having a HORIBBLE day - just rotten - and I can't remember why.  I had both kids in the car, they were probably 7&9 or so?  maybe a year younger...

    But I was trying to get gas and struggling with trying to get somewhere - the details escape me but I know I was yelling at the kids.  Enough to get another woman's attention.  She went to her car, got something out of it and approached me quietly.  She said "I think you may need this, it sounds like you're having a bad day" (or something to that effect) and handed me a small glass angel (probably 10 for $1 at the dollar store - but priceless at the moment).

    She stopped me in my path.  I realized how I must sound to both my kids and to outsiders.  Her actions made a difference.  And years later, I still have that glass angel.  And the memory of sometimes just needing to stop and breathe....

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