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Feeling guilty

Klmorgan83Klmorgan83 member
in Cincinnati Babies

Yesterday we made a family decision to switch to formula feeding Levi and I'm feeling so guilty about it.  It's not the I have a problem with formula in general because I don't, I just feel like I failed him.  I'm still having horrible back pain that makes it nearly impossible to get into a comfortable position to nurse him.  I wasn't producing enough because I was away from him for so long, he just wasn't satisfied.  I can't get comfortable enough to attempt to pump as much as I would need to in order to get my supply to where it needs to be for him, the pain meds don't help much.  Add to that the fact that I have a 2 year old running around who is desperately seeking attention, it's nearly impossible to have the time to pump as much as I would need to.

So he was on formula all day yesterday and he's a completely different baby already.  He's so much more content now that we know he's getting enough, so I know we made the decision that was best for him...it's just hard to not feel guilty and angry that breastfeeding was taken away from us because of the stupid complications from his birth.

Ok, I know there was no real question in all of that...just had to get it out.

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Re: Feeling guilty

  • sistrkatesistrkate

    I am so sorry that you are feeling so guilty.  You have had more than your fair share of difficulty.  Hopefully as you start getting better (and you will), and some of the postpartum fog clears, your guilt will dissipate.

    Big hugs.

    Justin Thomas joined us on 8.4.07
    Tyler Anthony arrived on 9.21.09
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  • JLPT830JLPT830 member

    Big Hug to you.  It's hard enough to be in so much pain when all you want to do is love on your new family, but to throw the guilt in too can be overwhelming.  It sounds like you have made the best decision for your family.  I'm sure right now it seems really hard, but looking back one day, I think you will be glad that you chose the option to allow you to spend more time with your family instead of hooked to the pump.  I hope you are able to find peace (and relief from the pain) soon.

     ETA:  I just saw your new siggy....what a beautiful boy!

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  • Traycee1242Traycee1242 member

    Hugs, Mama. I can't imagine how hard it is. It's much different when you choose to be done with breastfeeding than have it done for you. It's really not fair. Vent away! Time heals all and I bet in a few days you will feel even better about it.

    And Levi is just GORGEOUS!!!

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  • adamsbabbleadamsbabble member

    (((HUGS)))

    I also felt guilty when I finally made the switch, because I feel strongly about BFing and you can't deny the benefits of it- but I really wasn't doing Ava any favors by sticking to my breastfeeding convictions if she was starving.  Making tough decisions is what good mommy's do, and you are a good mommy!  Don't look at it is as giving up, but making a tough decision to do what is best, even if it's not what you expected.

    Ava Caroline 8.27.07 I Charlotte Grace 5.18.09 I Lila Katherine 1.20.11

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  • megan1019megan1019

    I'm sorry! I don't have a choice but to use formula since I'm not producing enough & he would have to be supplemented with it anyway since he is a preemie but I feel your pain on failing him. 

    I've yet to produce enough & I totally forget to pump as well because I'm so caught up in things.

    It's so hard when it's what you want to do but your body fails you! Hang in there! Hopefully seeing how content he is now that he is getting it helps some (it does me) Hang in there & big hugs!!

    He is REALLY cute!! 

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  • Ttimes3Ttimes3
    I completely understand your frustration and feelings of "failure" (however unwarranted they really are). Although I KNOW it is easier said than done, please don't beat yourself up. All Levi NEEDS is your love. Hang in there, mama.
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  • AgathiP04AgathiP04 member
    I totally felt that way with my DS.  I had a traumatic emergency c-section and due to the recovery and trauma (now I know I have a blood disorder that contributed to all of this), BF wasn't successful.  I felt like a failure.  However, I have a healthy, sweet 4 yr old and that is what matters :)  Anyway, I remember the feeling!
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  • escape1stescape1st

    (((Hugs to you.)))

    I know all too well that guilty feeling of not being able to produce enough to BF and needing to formula feed.  I spent so much time feeling like an inadequate mother for not being able to BF.  Please don't feel that way!  As long as he is getting the nutrients he needs from the formula and the snuggles and love from you, he will be a happy little guy! 

    Congrats again on an adorable boy!

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  • kel716kel716 member

    It's ok.   Mommy guilt is normal!!!  Don't forget the biggest thing:  Happy Mama = Happy Baby.  That is the most important thing..  Right now you're doing what is best for you and your family. 

    Try not to look back, and enjoy the control.  I loved knowing exactly how much B was eating, and I honestly think because that was controlled he STTN much earlier (6 weeks to the day). 

    Oh, and Levi is beautiful!!!

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