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Pregnant after 35
XP: My Mom passed away
Sorry ladies for the link...but I wanted to share over here also since I feel like TTCa35 (that got me here) is my original home and I know so many of you on here and there that lurk over here.
https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/50674310.aspx
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Re: XP: My Mom passed away
Delivered 3 weeks and 2 days early via emergency c/s due to pre-e
I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is heartbreaking.
I think they will know their grandmother through you, through the stories you tell, the pictures you can show them, and the parts of your own personality that you got from her. I am sorry that's not very comforting...
DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d
Char I am so so sorry! I came by here looking for you and a few others to see how you are and I see this
Heartbreaking. Again so very very sorry. ((((hugs)))
Oh Char, I gasped with sorrow when I read your subject line. You have my deepest sympathy. I know it will be hard to stay behind, but I'm sure your mom would want you to do what's best for her grandchildren, and I'm sure she's watching over them right now. Like pp's have said, they will know her through you.
I will be thinking of you and wishing you strength through this difficult time.
((((((HUGS))))))
Ten months: Mr. Giggles!
A10 March Siggy: Next vacation - Maine!
kikijbunny (formerly kikijbird)
Our jbunny born April 17, 2011 at 34w 1d (EDD May 28) due to irritable ute + early dilation
Mommy Blog: And Baby Makes Pi
Pregnancy/Baby Blog: Eggs Over Anxious
BFP chart
I am so sorry for your loss... and can relate because I lost my mom 7 years ago. I agree with your family and all the PPs who say to stay put.. I can't imagine how hard that will be for you... but in your heart you must know/feel that it is the right thing and that would be what your mom would want...you and the babies to be safe.
As for the babies knowing her.. you can keep her alive by telling them stories about her.... and you will feel her with you when you give birth.. (I felt my mom with me when I got my first BFP and also when I delivered my DD...) I get "signs" from her all the time.. which I hope for you that you do too. Just look for them.. sounds really cooky and I wouldn't have believed it, but you'll understand the first weird coincidence that happens.. and realize.. its your mom...
Also.. I also have a feeling that your babies will help you heal and get through this incredibly difficult time.. Again.. so sorry for your loss and hope you find comfort in knowing other people care. Hugs to you.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I can relate as well. I lost my mom in 02 and my dad 19 months later for very similar reasons as your mom. You will feel your mom, and it is not kooky at all. It is tough, but she is part of you, and you her. Your babies are part of you both as well. You'll keep her alive in your heart, and your children will know those memories too.
Please take care and know that many people are sending thoughts and prayers. We are here if you ever need to talk.
(((((BIG HUGS)))))
Char, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I know none of us have the right words, but I do agree that your children will know your amazing mother through you and the memories that you share with them. Sending you lots of prayers and hugs!
I know I"m late to respond but I also wanted to send my condolences. My dad died when I was pregnant with my first child which would have been his first grandchild. He was so excited about it. I went through IF too and I always regretted not starting earlier to have my kids so he could know them. My dad also went through an illness but was doing fine and then took a sudden turn for the worse out of nowhere.
The thing that kept me going was my baby - knowing that I had to take care of him for my dad. My dad always said that there is a circle of life and you take the best of each person and you pass it to the next generation. I am definitely doing that with my kids. I also did a shutterfly photo album of my dad's life and wrote a ton of funny and sweet stories in the album that made me smile about my dad. I go back and read it/look at pictures whenever I feel sad. I also will pass it down to my kids so they know more than just some pictures of him.
My family made me go home from the hospital the night he died because I was pregnant and needed a bed instead of a hard floor. I was mad at the time but now I realize it was what he would have wanted. I'm sure your mom would also not want you to go to the funeral or be by her bedside if it was risky for you to fly. She would want you taking care of the babies. I know it doesn't make it any easier to hear but if you were in your mom's place and your child was in your position, you'd be saying the same thing.
We had our name picked out for our son- Luke- at the time my dad died. My dad's name began with a B. Now my son is Brady. That is another way we chose to honor my dad.
IUI- BFN IVF #1 -BFP! Allie is our 2nd IVF baby. Born at 36 1/2 weeks after pre-e again
Char,
I am so sorry for your loss. I too loss my mother and her birthday was yesterday. She too never met two sets of twins born the year after she passed, but she knew was sister was trying which brought comfort. Just knowing how excited your mom was to share in your pregnancy is wonderful. I pray for you and your family.