- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Single Parents
did something dumb? advice pls!
Please no flames. So bF and I broke up 2 weeks ago and I moved out of our home- been living together for 5 years. Were together 9 years & our daughter is 5 months old. I've had such a hard time with this. He's the only man I've ever been with, moved out of parents house to his. He has been my only support person for 9 years really. So today went to his house to pick things up & talk ?well we ended up sleeping together. I know it was dumbstupid all that. I know I shouldn't have but at the time it felt so comfortable again. For that time e I felt ok again. I didn't have to think about how he hurt me or how my life is lonely & a mess. Now I don't know what to do- act like it never happened, talk about it, ? I just don't know. Anyone else Evere made this mistake? How did you move on- did it make things better or worse between you & ex? Thanks. I just feel so confused.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: did something dumb? advice pls!
Oh.... you had ex sex. I did this with my ex from college - back when I was like 20 or something like that.
Yeah, it might have felt comforting, but realize this: guys will act any way- say anything- do anything to get you in bed. If you go back to him, sure, it might be great for a hot minute, but then it will turn to a big pile of crap again and the same problems that caused the breakup will just keep happening.
Cut your losses, realize you made a mistake, go get tested pronto. Sex outside of a monogamous relationship can sometimes land you with an STD and you need to be as healthy as possible for as long as possible so you can be a good mama to your LO. Also, judging by how upset you seem, this is not good for your psyche at all, so just don't do it again. How old are you just out of curiosity?
I slept with my XH a few times, even after the divorce. Never really talked about it or anything. It didn't really make a difference one way or another.
You should go to counseling, that will help you with the mourning process for this relationship.
Eh, you're being too hard on yourself. Lots of people have ex sex, a lot more than will ever admit. I didn't with my ex h because I am literally terrified by him. But in amicable situations I dont see the harm in it if you can handle it emotionally.
I second the counseling thing. It will help you process the emotions.
Good that you made him wear a party hat. Just to play devils advocate there are still STDs you can get even being protected, so just be on the lookout for those. Personally, I'd still get tested anyway, but I'm just a paranoid freak like that.
Was it good sex?
This is sooooo not a big deal (different story if it had been unprotected), but really, simmer little pot. You are fine. Who knows when you will get sex next?
http://oi62.tinypic.com/2w73hq9.jpg
heh i was kind of thinking this too.
IMO it isn't going to change anything for the better. Ex sex is highly emotional, of course the feelings are still there, but so are the problems. I kissed XH one time after we were separated, felt sick to my stomach and started sobbing, and that was the last contact I had with him.
Don't let this cloud your judgement. If the relationship is over, then it's over.
That's funny you bring this up.... my ex actually *tried* to lean in and kiss me several months ago during a drop off (yes even with the orders of protection). I jerked my head back so hard it hit the back of my seat in my car really hard and I immediately felt like I was going to blow chunks. And started crying.
I wonder if that similar reaction has something to do with the nature of our break ups (even though different stories, both traumatic in different ways, etc). Hm. Food for thought....
Everyone makes mistakes. Learn from it and move on. Don't beat yourself up over it and if he brings it up, be honest and let him know how you feel.
So many times I wanted my ex for sex. One time he offered. I did turn him down. He's a drug addict so the idea of what could be in his body made me cringe. That and the fact I don't know how many women he's been with and I just felt like a charity case. That's how he put it basically anyway.
But had it been a different situation, yeah I may have done it. Don't beat yourself up over it.
I have had sex since Aug 09 so its been a long time lol.