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Stay at Home Moms
pumpkinwife07
member
I didn't realize that having 2 kids...
pumpkinwife07
member
makes you a better mother and/or a harder worker than someone with one child. There's no doubt that having more than 1 kid is tough, but the fact that you think my life is so easy with one 18 month old is just down right rude. My favorites:
JOEBunny:
LOL! I just noticed the OP has One 1.5 year and swaps cooking dinners, bath time, playing, with her DH.
Exactly. Not even the same ballpark as doing it all for two babies AND working.
HAHA! I laughed out loud and I think I might have woke DS up from his nap when I read that. 
oh how blistful life is with only one kid.
While we plan on having more children, you do not know my backstory. What if I struggled to conceive the one I have? What if I had medical issues that prevented me from having additional children? Secondary IF?
You don't have to agree with what I write, but I do expect more out of the moms on this board.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I didn't realize that having 2 kids...
You were berating a woman for expecting her DH to come home and help her with a 2 month old and a 15 month old and working at home without childcare. STFU.
If you think people aren't being supportive, look in the mirror.
Since no one else will I will bite.
First of all the bottom line is life with two kids is harder than life with one, and the poster has two kids 13 months apart one of which is a baby and the other a toddler, I have no problem admitting that her situation is harder than mine with a 2 and a 4 year old and I don't work like she does. To bring in infertility and the like is just plain way off base. One of my BFs has been dealing with infertility for quite a while she just got pregnant after three years. I would often complain to her about how hard it was when the kids were young, she never once threw the fertility issue in my face.
Second you posted in your first response that you expect SAHMs to do all the work but then in your spinoff admitted that you and your DH split the duties when he is home, you totally contradicted yourself. The first poster got very little help, you essentially told her to buck up when you are getting help with ONE kid.
Yes the number of kids makes a difference, when I am one on one with my kid it is so very very easy. I have it a lot easier than those who have three or who have two who are close together or babies, I will admit that.
oh and the whole I expected more makes me laugh it is usually followed by you are a bully and I feel sorry for your kids. You made the spin off post people did not agree and it was laughable put your big girl panties on and deal with it.
JOE I know we don't always agree but I am so glad you are on this board:)
NEWSFLASH: life with 2 kids is harder than life with 1 kid. Just like I'd suspect life with 3 kids is harder than life with 2.
What does IF have to do with this?
Noel - August 2010
Crazy about Christmas? Check out our blog!
My good, old, rarely-updated toddler food blog
Having 2 kids, as opposed to just one, does not make you a better mother, but you defininetly do have to work much harder. You have 2 little people that need your constant love and attention and to have their needs met. How can you not think having 2 kids is more work than having one? Sure, you can take a nap when your ONE child is napping, but in my household it is rare that both my kids sleep at the same time.
Also, what does your backstory have to do with anything? No one was saying that you are lazy or a bad mom/person because you only have one kid. They are just pointing out that you can't really relate because you do only have one child and have no idea how hard it is to handle to children that close together.
Ditto. I am lost as to how difficulty getting pg has anything to do with the fact that life is harder with more than one child. You are really reaching
DS 3.12.08
DD 7.11.09
DD 8.01.13
I only have 1 kid and thought those responses were funny and dead on.
NEWSFLASH - You decided to have one more kid. Stop complaining about how much more difficult it is. You also decide to have your children 13 months apart.
If you read what I wrote, I said I'm sure having more than 1 kid is tough. My issue is don't crap on people who only have one kid. And, the reason I bring IF into it is, maybe some people want a second or third child, but don't have the choice. They shouldn't be insulted or thought that their life is easier or more "blissful" because they only have 1 child.
How were people crapping on people with one kid? Life is easier with one kid no doubt, people come on this board everyday to complain about situations they have control over, how is this any different? Most of us chose to support her you were the one "crapping" on her and the rest of us stood up for her. you have zero idea what it is like to be in her shoes.
I am still stuck on how you don't realize that life is easier with one just like my life is easier with two than those with three.
This! My LO isn't born yet, so I can't comment on life with one child or two, but I think it's absurd to say that a woman with one child works as hard to maintain her home and care for her family as someone with two children (in general). More children = more work and more demand on time.
BFP #1 9/7/10, EDD 5/14/11, Violet born 5/27/11.
BFP #2 4/9/12, EDD 12/16/12, M/C Rory 4/24/12.
BFP #3 10/6/12, EDD 6/16/12., Matilda born 6/17/13.
You are kind of annoying. Just sayin'.
Stop arguing and cool down.
Noel - August 2010
Crazy about Christmas? Check out our blog!
My good, old, rarely-updated toddler food blog
lol I agree
how is that for supportive?
Again, read my original post. I'm sure being a mom of 2 or more is tough. But sometimes, just being a mom is tough - no matter how many kids you have. My life with one toddler is wonderful - but just because I'm not chasing two of them around, or changing two diapers, doesn't mean I have it EASY. I'm not sitting around eating bon bons all day.
If you decide to have two children so close together, you have to expect things to be mighty difficult. Plain and simple. She (and her DH) did it to themselves.
I'm going to offer you a big ol' hug and a chance to stop here and save face.
Or, you could just find another place to be troll. We don't need meanie moms around here.
Lady! Settle down. Your life is really tough too - we get it. My life with one is pretty simple, so I will be happy to pass my portion of the "hardest working mom" award to you so that you can have more points for your hard work.
I don't think the OP with the initial post was complaining about having two kids close in age. Can we not complain about decisions we have made or things that have occurred in our lives? If so, don't complain about your lack of time to sit and eat bon bons since you chose to have your child who sucks the tasty treat eating time out of your life.
i think you should just drop this and let it pass instead of digging a bigger hole.
OMG stop already.
Yes she did it to herself, everything we do we are responsible for that does not mean we can't vent or complain that is what this board is for if you don't like it don't come here. People vent about their weight, their DH's their financial situations all which they are responsible for, but we are here to support them and yes even call them out when they are wrong.
So, b/c she chose to have 2 children she shouldn't expect DH to help out?
Good to know.
To the OP, how and why did this become about you? A mom came on looking for support and to vent, I'm sure, and you tell her she should be superwoman? None of us can or want to do this all on our own. I freely admit that I *expect* DH to take over as soon as he gets home. At best, he's helping while I'm finishing up dinner but often I'm going straight to work when he gets home if I've got a meeting, shoot or whatever. Either way, DH handles almost all or all of the evening routine whether I'm home or not. Yes, he just worked a long hard day at work...but so did I at home. He gets his break (and i get mine if I'm not working) when we get the kids in bed for the night, which is a lot easier now that they're all older and STTN. Even if i wasn't a WAHM, DH would be helping and/or taking over many evenings just to give me some downtime...especially when the kids were so little. A 2-month-old and 15-month-old are still both babies IMHO and need a lot of work, attention and energy. It's exhausting.
So I guess I'm back to the original point. You, with one toddler and as a SAHM, don't have a clue what you're talking about. Even if you take the two kids out of it, try to remember that infant phase that was so draining and exhausting and the add your LO into that picture. And I'm still the bestest mom ever.
Sue, I think I love you.
What is wrong with you? Of course being a mom isn't easy, BUT being a mom to 1 is EASIER that having 2. It is simple math. It is tougher being a mom to multiple children than it is to be a mom to 1. Get over it. You seem to be using your bon bon time to come on here and be crazy.
You expect more out of this board, yet you tell another mom who is facing a situation that is difficult for her that she should be doing it all herself? Honestly, you're the one who was sounding like a complete douche, not everyone else. It's effin wonderful that you're June Cleaver and can handle the housework/childcare while letting your DH sit with his feet on the sofa all night. Do you want a cookie? The OP needed help because of her specific situation and you tried to comment on something you have no clue about. You're a SAHM to ONE kid, not a working mom to 2. What works in your household doesn't work in others.
Ditto! I'm all for respecting others opinions but when you take two thoughts and group them together for no apparent reason it's no holds bard.
Damn you all-
why do you guys get to have fun on a day I am so ampted up about basketball?? I guess I am a crappy WAHM with 2 kids.
lol- obviously not on the nest fighting with a mom who clearly has it HARD.
Woohoo for March Madness. I plan to spend the next few weeks with the TV on 24/7 (ok, just when the games are on) just so I can rot my kids' brains that much more. Oh, with bonbons, of course. But I'll have to send DH out to get them. No way I'm taking three kids to the grocery store.
NICE- your little guys outfit is flippin ADORABLE! Childrens place? - And your girls are just precious! LOVE the pic. ~ Its sad- i had to 'amp' Gisele up yesterday by telling her its 'bouncy ball' day and she can wear my SPECIAL 'bouncy ball' shirt and we can clap and cheer. I have the wastebasket all set up for her to toss balls into while I TRY to watch the games (or at least follow scores on the PC) ~ its sad but i will BE DVR'ing certain games to watch later at night. That is pretty pathetic- but the only way i know i will get to watch certain games... in peace. WITH bonbons.
Thanks! Yes the girls' dresses and DS's vest were from TCP. I think DS's hat was from ON, though.
And screw the bonbons. Bring on the margarita.
Actually today's plans do involve a margarita (or two) and heating up the hot tub when DH gets home from work. The pool is too cold and too much of a PITA to heat, so the kids will swim in the hot tub while I enjoy sitting there with my margarita(s). Nothing says St. Patrick's day like margaritas and hot tubs, right?
drooling. CHEERS! ~ I love me some margaritas. I will be celebrating with a pint or two of guinness tonight though.
It's funny that you say this sarcastically but I do believe it's true. I'm certainly a better mother now that I have three than I was before.
Not that it's true for every mom or every comparison, but just as someone in a career field should be better with a few more years of experience, after caring for three children you should be a little more seasoned than a mother of one.
ETA: Back to add: This whole post just smacks of "DUH!" Are you really arguing that a family of 3 is just as much work as a family of 5? I mean just looking at the dishes, clothes, changing sheets alone and I've got more work per week. I shudder to think of what happens in 3 years when soccer season hits and I've got 3 kids = 6 practices and at least 3 games per week. You couldn't feed me enough bon bons or alcohol to convince me that is the same as having one child.
And, yes, I'm back because I'm avoiding the kitchen, the laundry room, and the upstairs.
I don't have time to read all of the responses right now, but seeing that one of the quotes you put in bold belongs to me, I thought I should respond.
A woman posted on this board, asking if she should expect more help from her DH, because she works from home, and cares for an infant and a toddler. You said something along the lines of, "I don't know about everyone else, but I'm old fashioned, and I expect that the wife will do the majority of the childcare and housework."
Everyone else thought that was loony advice, especially considering she not only has an infant and a toddler, but works from home as well. She spends nearly 20 hours a day/night working and raising children, while her husband works a normal day, then comes home to relax and sleep.
You then started a new thread, stating that you couldn't believe how you are the only one who feels the way you do, and then added a nice little line on at the end about how your DH splits up the childcare responsibilities of your one toddler with you while he is at home. (????)
Nothing you have written has made any sort of sense at all.
And why don't you shut your trap.
I was nice the first time. I'm done being nice. This is a nice board. Be nice, or get out.
Wow. This is the 2nd thread you have started to make another mom's struggle about yourself. And now you insult another?
Take your ball and go home. We don't play that game here.
DD#1~8/17/96------DS~10/24/05
Two? Last time I checked 3 kids marched out of me. It's even in my siggy.
The count goes to 4 on DH's cranky days. Although he was "adopted" of course.
DD#1~8/17/96------DS~10/24/05
THIS POST HAS BEEN REMOVED
Enough! This thread has gone too far and is starting to create a negative environment for all the other users. I'm locking this thread, no more replies will be allowed.
eclaire 9.10.06 diggy 6.2.11