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Two Under 2
Moms who already had LO#2
What were the first few weeks like at home with a toddler and a newborn? How did you get adjusted? If LO#1 didn't go to daycare, how did you manage your time taking care of both? We have a nanny right now for DD1. Our nanny just informed us that while I'm on maternity leave, she wants to take a couple months off to get an eye surgery and visit family overseas. Now I'm kinda freaking out! I was counting on her help to take care of DD while I take care of a newborn. We don't have family in the area. I'm just wondering how doable it is, or maybe we need to start looking at other options. TIA!
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Re: Moms who already had LO#2
Very doable. If I didnt have a c-section, I would have probably sent DH back to work at 2 weeks PP, but he ended up being off until 3 weeks. I was terrified of the day he went back to work, but it was so much easier than I anticipated. Considering I'm saying this right now when my oldest is cutting molars, not sleeping, and has been constantly miserable for the past week, you can definitely manage just fine.
Things that help me immensely: wearing DD in a carrier so I have my hands free to play with DS, prepping DSs meals while he's asleep so I don't have to try to scramble to make something when both kids start crying to eat at the same time (and by probability, it always happens that way!), and involving my DS in everything. I feed baby sitting on the floor so I can play with him at the same time. I let him sit in the rocker with me while I read him a book and he helps me burp the baby.
It's been over a year for me (already!!) but I remember those days well.
Like pp said, wearing the baby is key. I always needed 2 hands for DS who was not even 15 months old when DD was born. Also, like she said, prepping meals while one is sleeping. I would prepare as much while one was sleeping as I could because it got to be difficult when I would have a whining toddler at my legs while trying to get things done.
I would always nurse DD while sitting on the floor. Not the most comfortable thing, but I liked being at DS' level while he was playing. You spend a lot of time feeding a newborn, so this a way to sort of include your other LO.
Remember, newborns sleep a lot....this helps the transition go more smoothly!! GL, you will be fine!
After the adrenaline wears off it's exhausting for the first few months. We had a lot of help from the Grandma's and we sent our son to daycare and it was still tiring.
Brayden (5 1/2) born 12.28.06
Hailey (4 1/2) born 2.25.08
Taylor (8 Months) born 12.26.11
When they're little, their naps will overlap easily. I don't get all day to lay in bed like I did with DS, but I do get a few hours to rest while they're both resting.
DH took a month of paternity leave, so that was really helpful for us.
It is true that the early days are almost easier, because the little one does sleep so much more.
You could look into hiring a mother's helper for the interim until your nanny returns.
And you might suprise yourself with how much you really can do.
The first few weeks were the easiest in the first few months for us. Ben slept a LOT. Almost any time he wasn't nursing/eating, I was able to put him down in his swing/bouncy seat and play with Mia. While he was eating, I turned on the TV. Yeah, it'll be a lot of TV for LO #1, and often for a few weeks, but it dies down. It kept her entertained most of the time, so I wasn't struggling to pay attention to both kids at once.
It's when they start becoming a lot more alert and don't want to be put down (for us, at about 4-6 weeks) that it started getting hard, because then Mia really noticed that I had another child to take care of, and was demanding my attention as well.
Do you have family nearby? Friends? Someone who could take your DD to the park or watch her while you nap some during the day a few days a week? That would help. Either way, you'll get through it. You'd do just fine
My DD is 5.5 weeks, and DS will be 20 months tomorrow. I had a repeat c-section, so my recovery has been slower, but not too bad. My parents came down the first full week I was home, and DH was home the second week. DS has been going to daycare 3 days a week, and my parents come down the other 2 days. It has been a lifesaver to have the help from my parents and still send DS to daycare. My days alone with DD are more quiet, so I can run an errand or two, and also get rest and do a few things around the house. When DS is home, I am busier spending time with him too.
My recommendation is to get at least some help while you're on leave, at least so you can get some rest and spend some 1x1 time with your newborn. I guess I'm a little surprised your nanny thinks that you won't need her help while you're on leave...