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mag2point0
member
So, is there a "right" age to CIO?
mag2point0
member
I know I read several places that 4 months was ok, but at I found the Kellymom article TTT just posted and I knew that we couldn't really sleep train DD yet. She definitely nurses really well at night and during the day she gets distracted and often stops just to stare into my eyes (melt my heart). I was thinking of looking into Ferber now since she'll be 6 months. But, if she's still so much better at eating at night, should I just let it play out and read her cues? If I read Ferber's book, will I find all the answers to these questions?
ETA:typos
DD1: Sep 10 / DD2: Nov 12 / Surprise LO3: Jul 14
This discussion has been closed.
Re: So, is there a "right" age to CIO?
The short answer is yes, the Ferber book will answer a LOT of questions.
The generally held opinion is that 6 months is the earliest age to consider CIO, but Ferber is also not necessarily a straight CIO method. There is more to it than that, checking in at specific intervals, etc., to soothe the baby and whatnot.
You will find various experts to offer different ages for trying some form of CIO, but the idea is that before 6 months of age, babies aren't really capable of self-soothing, which is really necessary for sleep training to work.
Tyler Anthony arrived on 9.21.09
The Chronicles of Justin and Tyler
The short answer = no.
The long answer = with parenting, I've concluded that there really is no such thing as "right" and "wrong," as each child is so different and each situation is so different. For example, with DS1, my supply TANKED (due to thyroid issues) around 2 months. That said, we FF'ed DS1 from that point on AND we introduced solids "early," which changed the game (as it related to sleep, etc.) dramatically. Since the plan is to BF DS2 [at least] until 1YO, we will delay solids a bit. All that said, I wouldn't be surprised if sleep training isn't as "effective," at 6-7 months, with DS2 as it was with DS1. STTN is dependent upon a number of different factors - nature + nurture, so it's hard to say and no one method is going to be foolproof for all babies/families.
Whatever your plan, I would definitely recommend reading Ferber's book (and maybe even a number of other books on sleep training methods, as well). For us, we are "mostly" a Ferber household (as of now, anyway); but we didn't/won't follow the method 100%. That's pretty much the case with any parenting book/method, for us, anyway.
This, too.
I think it depends on the parent and the baby-- for us we started doing CIO at 5 months but I also think our definition of CIO is probably different than others. For me CIO means that I let him cry for 15-20 minute intervals, go in and soothe him/burp/maybe try to feed him a little more since he is such a finicky eater and then let him cry more if he isnt asleep. We let him do these 20 minute intervals until he falls asleep. We did this starting at 4-5 months and it worked for us.
ETA: Nicholas RARELY ended up crying for more than 15-20 mins. Especially when he was 4/5 months old usually it was like 5-10 mins then he would be out. Now that he is older is when we are having to do the 15 mins cry, soothe, 15 mins cry soothe, etc. Sometimes its just once we go in or not at all other nights it can be a 2 hour process lol But DS started STTN at 8 weeks old and still sleeps for 12 hour stretches & sometimes longer so whatever we did worked.
All of this.
You also have to give some thought to the child's temperament and your life situation at the time. We ferbered DD at 8 months and I swore I wouldn't wait that long to do it with DS - he was going to be ferbered at 6 months 1 day
But then we have pending travel, he gets an ear infection, he has horrible congestion and fevers. Guess what, not the time to Ferber. So it looks like we'll be closer to 8 months when we are able to do it with DS too.
Read Ferber's book. It explains a lot about sleep. There is a lot to learn from his book.
IMO, this is almost always best.
This sounds a lot like how my DH and I attempted to *solve* parenting dilemmas, early on, with DS1. Honestly, we decided to *assign* (and continue to do so) various books to each other, then we discuss the readings. This has been effective for us in a number of ways. Ironically, one of his first *assigned* readings was Ferber.
This is what happens when teachers marry. For foreplay they grade each other's love notes with red pen.
You have no idea. Hot for teacher. We are the epitome of ridiculous, squared.
My husband and I did pretty much exactly the same things with our first son, as well. I don't know when we smartened up and realized that you can't parent by the book, you can't sleep train by the book, you've got to do what feels right for you and your family. Ferber was hugely successful with both of my children, and I feel lucky for that.
But just keep doing what you're doing, relying on your maternal instinct is never a bad thing.
Tyler Anthony arrived on 9.21.09
The Chronicles of Justin and Tyler
Love this!
Maggie- I got an email a couple of days ago from Babycenter and held onto this site to refer to once I'm ready to try Ferber...
https://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-sleep-training-cry-it-out-methods_1497112.bc?showAll=true