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Success after IF
cjsbdl
member
any BFers here supplement by choice?
cjsbdl
member
So I really need to give E a bottle...I know from experience that waiting too long just makes things harder. But I am really struggling with whether to pump or just give her a bottle or two of formula a week. I pumped for Henry and he didn't have any formula at all until he was about six months old...but I have two babies to take care of now, and the idea of trying to fit in some pumping time just makes me want to cry. I know it could be different this time, but with Henry I had to pump two or three sessions in order to get one bottle's worth (I've always had good supply, but never good pumping output).
It would be so much easier to just give a bottle of formula a few times a week, but I'm struggling with the idea of not doing for one what I did for the other. I know it's totally emotionl and in my head I know that giving her formula is fine, but I can't get over the idea of her being EBF and just do it!
I guess I don't know what I'm asking here, except that if anyone has been in a similar situation and how to come to terms with giving up on EBF?
(I know I may sound like a loon here, but I've always been very emotional about BF. Sorry!)
This discussion has been closed.
Re: any BFers here supplement by choice?
No I understand completely. Can you try the pumping method out for a little bit to see how you can work it out with your schedule? If it is important to you to not give formula, go for it, even if it is easier. A little creative schedule juggling may be all you need.
ETA: by supplementing with formula, you can hinder your breastmilk supply. If you truly want to EBF, I would definitely try all possibilities to keep her EBF before resorting to formula. You don't want your supply to go down.
The first bottle of formula I gave him, I hesitated on...I was all wrapped up in wanting to say "he's never had a drop of formula"...which is ridiculous.
Anyways...I felt such relief when he took that first bottle..the pressure was off of me to provide all nutrition for him... I should have kept it up...because he only got a couple bottles of formula in the months after that...and then there came the time where I NEEDED to supplement due to my supply..and he refused. so now I live in fear each day of not being able to pump enough for his bottles the next day. I hate it. I wish I had just given him at least one bottle of formula regularly and taken the pressure off of myself!!! I feel so trapped now...and it really sucks. I'm sure I could get him "over it" by playing hardball and "forcing him" to drink formula...but I don't want to do that...I just want him to accept it and drink it like normal. so...I'm stuck. Bottom line, I think I would be a happier mommy if I had the freedom that being able to supplement as needed would provide..and I think I lost my chance at that by not giving him formula regularly (and then ending up with a picky baby...obviously some babies don't have any problems switching back and forth).
Honestly, I'm not too worried about this. I've always had GREAT supply...through illness, supplementing (we supplemented Henry with formula from 6-8 months when I weaned completely to TTC again). I'm really not worried about 2-3 bottles a week affecting my supply. I know that it does for some people and I guess it oculd change for me at any time, but i guess that's one of the few things I'm NOT worried about.
I don't have any advice but I'm in the same situation. Bfing is very emotional for me as well and I understand how you want to do the same thing for both kids. I feel the same way and I have the same struggle going on right now. H never had formula and refused a bottle with pumped milk so she was ebf for 11.5 months (and at that point was fully transitioned to WCM). I feel a lot of pressure to do the same for J.
I've pumped twice since J was born and have a grand total of 10oz frozen. I hate pumping (does anyone enjoy it though) and don't know how to fit it in during the day. It would be SO nice if someone else could give him a bottle once in awhile and I really think I need to introduce one soon so he doesn't reject it all together. We don't have any formula in the house but I've been tempted to buy a can just in case I have a total melt down one day and need it. I think it would make my life easier but I can't come to terms with it just yet and I keep telling myself it's going to get easier once he spaces out his feedings more and if I just keep pushing through one day it won't seem so hard or complicated.
It sounds like we're have the same day/week in terms of illnesses and now this whole bfing situation:)
Clomid M/C 8 weeks 2/08 *IVF #1-DD born 3/09
*Surprise BFP-T18 baby lost at 13w 1/10 *FET #1-DS born 2/11
Like you I had good supply but not so good pump out put. When I returned to work I tried the pumping schedule I could best work with and decided that it would be affecting my productivity at work, so I decided to give the one bottle of formula.
I'm not in the same situation as you because I don't have to compare to another sibling but I would try and see if you could work out a pumping schedule and if it doesn't work out than give formula..
In the end you will be doing what is best for your family in this situation..this time around. Try not to look back at what you did with your first one..I know easier said than done but worth a try
Weeeeelllllllllllll, I have EBF and honestly, I think I might regret it b/c it is almost an obsession. I am in a good place now only b/c I pumped like crazy to build a stash and that is what saves me. I almost wish I had supplemented with formula b/c I would probably be an easier person to deal with in those earlier months. So since you are only a few weeks into it, first I say try the pump and see if you can get a stash going. You never know. It won't hurt to try.
Right now this seems like a big deal to you. When DD is 4 I bet it won't. At that point you will have done a lot of things for one and not the other. Here is a good way to break yourself in! Best wishes!
I didn't at first - I actually found it easier to let DD just nurse because caring for the 2 of them, like you, I didn't have time to pump and it was easier for her to just feed. when I went back to work, though, I pumped at work, but we started giving her bottles of 1/2 formula, 1/2 breast milk. That way, I wasn't always pumping for the next day and managed to build up a bit of a stash. I went away for a ladies weekend when DD was 5 months and she was fine with the amount of milk I had, combined with formula.
If you supplement with formula, would you pump at that time? If so, maybe you could try that - 1/2 formula with BM. I didn't do this with my DS, but wish I had. I was always so stressed at work trying to find enough time to pump so that he would be ok the next time I worked with the amount of BM I had. And that way, your DD is still getting BM, too.
I had a bit of guilt about doing this, too, but now DD is on all formula (like DS was at this time as well), and I had already forgotten about it until you mentioned it. So in a few months, you may not even remember feeling guilty about it!
Good luck!
I don't have any answers, I just wanted to say that I understand your question
The main differences being that 1) I did have supply issues, and 2) I've not always been emotional about BFing -- but I am already really emotional/ guilt-ridden about doing for one what I did for the other!
All that said, it is still my "plan" to supplement with formula occasionally for DD. I really, really hope it doesn't tank my supply - if it does, I'll just have to deal with that. I just know that it will be so healthy for my frame of mind to be able to get out and about and not be tied to the house (I personally don't BF in public, call me crazy), and I have a huge emotional block when it comes to pumping (I managed to avoid pumping with DS, but was tied to the house as a result). And, as you know, I'm not thrilled with the idea of BFing again in the first place
(But, ah, the guilt!!) So, this is what I've come up with as my compromise.
GL, whatever you decide!
I understand exactly how you feel but don't have any helpful advice. I was hoping there would be some magic answer here when I opened the thread. When I pump I get almost nothing. I pump 2x a day and I'm lucky to get a total of 1 ounce. I really feel like it is not a good use of my time at all. I spend most of his first nap pumping. I know I should stop and say, "ok, when I can't feed him he gets formula". But the idea of not having any milk saved at all just isn't something I can accept now. And then I feel like I should just suck it up and not leave him, and not drink until he stops nursing. But I just can't do it. I would tell you - and sincerely mean it - that there is nothing wrong with giving the baby a bottle - but I can't convince myself.
And when I try to ask anyone about it they give me advice for upping my supply. People just don't get it that the pump doesn't work for everyone. I hate that I'm willing to pump and am unable to get anything. Even if I pump right after a missed feeding I get no more than 1 oz total. Infuriating.