Single Parents

needing some advice.. sorry its alittle long

a little back info...

My boyfriend and i have been together for over a year and when i was about 6 months pregnant we found out a was pregnant, we were already living together and had the talk about trying to get pregnant and what that would be like. We both agreed it would be something that we BOTH want.

 Its been a pretty hard pregnancy, lots of sickness, hormones, and i had to have surgery.Been off work since November. And he has been pretty supportive, and is really excited.

Yesterday i noticed that he added some girl from Russia onto his facebook account, and it got me thinking. He had left his facebook open and there was a message from this girl. Of course i opened it and read it.

He was at work, and from 630am to when i read the message which was about 2pm they had been messaging back and forth pretty fast.

To sum the whole conversation up she was an exchange student back when they were in grade 8! And were talking about how they first kissed ect. Which would have been fine in my eyes until i read that he still "liked" her and wanted to see her hug her and kiss her... Calling her beaitful every other message. Also asking how expensive it is to fly to her hometown cause he really wants to see her.

He had also said in this conversation he lives with a girl and she is pregnant but didnt know if he was going to marry her. (which is a complete lie, he has a ring at the jewerly shop on hold)

 I am  competely hurt and have no idea how i should handle this situation. I played it off last night like nothing happened and ven made supper and his lunch for work this morning.. Mostly beacuse he told this girl he would be talking to her today and i want to see how far he is actually willing to take it.

Any advice would be amazing as I am 32 weeks pregnant and realizing now that maybe he isnt going to be the "perfect" father or boyfriend.

TIA xox

 

--lilah dorothy-- may.16.2011

Re: needing some advice.. sorry its alittle long

  • If you just discovered this imagine everything else he's been hiding.  I would advise you to ditch him, no good can come of this.
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  • imagemisscpower:

    He had also said in this conversation he lives with a girl and she is pregnant but didnt know if he was going to marry her. (which is a complete lie, he has a ring at the jewerly shop on hold)

    What makes you think this is a lie? If this is what he's telling others, then it's probably the truth. He doesn't know if he wants to marry you. I would move ahead with planning to raise your child on your own. This is a huge red flag.

    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
  • I'm sorry. When I started to discover my exFI's hidden emails, it really sucked.

    I ended up leaving. 

     

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  • I agree with PP and say ditch him and move on.  Wouldn't you rather be with someone trustworthy?  His actions are shady.
  • imageachase123:
    If you just discovered this imagine everything else he's been hiding.  I would advise you to ditch him, no good can come of this.

    Exactly.  Often, this is just the tip of the iceberg so to speak.  You deserve to have someone in your life that you trust completely and who will honor you in every way imaginable.

     Also, you want your LO to see you in a HEALTHY relationship- so they will see good examples set and learn what a good relationship is so they, too, will be able to have positive relationships when they are older.

     

    Plus, seriously, too much drama and BS.  Don't get caught up in the whole "i want this to work so desperately for LO's sake" because obviously he doesn't want it to work or just doesn't care.  You don't need that.  You deserve better.  And if you condone his behavior by turning a blind eye to it- imagine how much more outta control it will get.  People don't change, they just get better at hiding who they really are. 

  • imagekristinhart511:
    Don't get caught up in the whole "i want this to work so desperately for LO's sake" because obviously he doesn't want it to work or just doesn't care.  You don't need that.  You deserve better.  And if you condone his behavior by turning a blind eye to it- imagine how much more outta control it will get.  People don't change, they just get better at hiding who they really are. 

    This!!!

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