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How to deal with separation anxiety at gym daycare?

jalaiaajalaiaa
in Multiples

Whenever my boys go to the gym daycare, they cry when we leave. When we come back, Eli is usually playing and James is either playing or being held. They seem to take really good care of them, so I think it is just separation anxiety. 

My question then, is how do I leave them? I will try to distract then sneak out. But on my way out they usually start to cry.  Then I feel guilty for sneaking out and go through the debate of whether to go back or let staff take care of it. I never leave completely until they have stopped crying, but I'll either stay out of view or go in to them. Do you sneak out? Do wave goodbye to crying babies? Do you not go? Do you go back when they start to cry? Sorry, I know all these questions I should probably answer myself. Maybe this is more of a vent than questions. But how do you all deal with separation anxiety?

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Re: How to deal with separation anxiety at gym daycare?

  • BeenThere22BeenThere22
    It breaks your heart, doesn't it? When we used to drop C & G off at daycare DH spats used to go back and console them. They ended repeating this cycle every. single. day. Once he started just walking away and leaving (it's hard. He cried most mornings) they eventually stopped. I think they learned that when they cried daddy came back? Either way, its hard. Good luck!
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  • Temp6313048411121614Temp6313048411121614 member
    Sometimes I try to stay in there until they're happily playing with something.  Normally I just walk out while they're crying and make sure that they're not crying a few minutes later (they never are).
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  • lkstorlkstor
    With separation anxiety you should say goodbye and leave. Period. Make your goodbye brief. Don't stay and comfort. Have a smile on your face when you come and go so LOs don't know mommy is upset about leaving. Ideally you start with short periods of time and gradually increase so they get the idea that mommy is coming back soon.
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  • macchiattomacchiatto member
    I give them big hugs and tell them I'm going to go exercise and I'll be back in a little bit. Then I point out toys I know they like, "Hey, do you want to go play with the play kitchen/Toy Story pig?" etc. I know they usually stop crying within a minute or two of me leaving. Because there are glass walls, there's not a good place for me to stay and watch them to make sure they've stopped crying, where they wouldn't be able to see me (which would make them cry longer!). But the Y has a policy that they'll come get you if your child cries more than 15 minutes so I try not to worry too much. As we've gone more, they've started looking forward to it, and now Alex frequently asks in the morning to go to the Y or the church nursery. :) (These days Will is the one far more likely to cry at dropoff!)
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  • finallyreillyfinallyreilly
    DD is just starting to get this way.  I try to make my exit as quick as possible and show her some toys before I go.  She usually seems to be ok after a few minutes.
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  • gumiberggumiberg member

    how often do you go? my advice is to try to go as regularly as possible.  it did take my kids awhile to get used to it because they do not go to normal daycare, so i went tues/thursdays/sundays - matter what.  it didnt matter if i ran 10 miles on sunday morning...i kept to our routine. i would just sit by the pool, relax in the hot-tub, etc.

    its to the point now where i open the door and they run in...but it wasnt always like that. practice practice practice.

    haha, its also to the point where i pick them up and they dont want to leave! lol.

    and I agree with the PP who said to make drop off as quick as possible.  say when you'll be back, kiss them and dash out.  they will be fine.

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  • gumiberggumiberg member
    oh, and what gym do you go to?  i am wondering if its mine.
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  • togagirltogagirl

    The first few times were hard on the youngest but now he is getting better.  More used to the girls that work there and very interested in the toys. 

    It is really hard but I feel like I am such a better mommy if I get a break and good workout in during the day.  It is too hard for me to try to go when DH gets home and it's dinner time and then I have to wait until they go to bed and by then I am just spent from a day with 3 kids.  

    I would just say, mommy will be back soon.  And go.  

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