- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Cincinnati Babies
He won't sleep!!!
I don't know what to do. DS is 3.5 months old and wakes up every 2 hours to eat. He goes to bed between 6-630, we have tried to push that back but he's a mess if we try to keep him up. He wakes up at 8, 10, 12, 2, 4, 6, 8. Every time he wakes up I try to comfort him in ways other than nursing, but it doesn't work. I have tried everything! Today when he woke up at 4, I walked around with him for an hour and he wouldn't stop crying, but as soon as I fed him, he stopped and fell asleep. I thought this was a growth spurt, but it's been going on for over 2 weeks now. Anyone know how I can stop this? I think part of the problem is that he can't put himself back to sleep once he wakes up, without nursing.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: He won't sleep!!!
Does he do a full feeding each time you feed him? I would say if he is doing a full feeding each time then he very may be going through a growth spurt-- if its just eating for a min or two before falling back asleep then there may be other things you can try. Is he comfort sucking? Have you tried a paci? Its a tough place because he is so young so doing any CIO is way too early (we did some CIO once DS was about 5 months old, would only let him cry for 15 min. intervals but at his young age I would say if he is crying its more than likely because he needs something.
How much is he eating at each feeding--do you have any idea? Maybe there is another problem (like reflux) that is bothering him. If he is refluxing it will make it hard for him to sleep, the only comfort he will be able to get is by eating (to soothe his sore throat) but each time he eats it will just make him reflux all over again. If I remember correctly you were asking about reflux a few weeks back, did they start him on anything? Have they adjusted the dose since he started? If he has gained weight then he might be needing more than what he is getting or try a different kind. GL mama-- being sleep deprived is the worst! I would definitely make sure that you are alternating baby duty w/ DH so that you arent 100% sleep deprived.
You arent going to like this....
Here is how I see it knowing M and what you are going through...
Options
1. CIO
2. Try and feed him more during the day... Like if he falls asleep during the day while nursing wake him up, try and feed him more... Maybe he isnt getting enough during the day?
3. Is he taking naps during the day? The better he sleeps during the day, the better he should sleep at night... if he is sleeping well during the day... Maybe try and keep him up and see what happens at night? That could backfire because I really don't know if that would work, but its worth a try no?
4. Maybe try re-swaddling him again? he may fight it for a little but may eventually settle down...
I haven't tried to swaddle since he was about 3 weeks old, but I have a feeling he would get really upset. He's very sensitive, won't even let me put a sweatshirt/jacket on him! He screams until I take it off. I guess it wouldn't hurt to try again, we have a miracle blanket, so I can try that.
He does have the fisher price seahorse, he loves it, but for some reason it only works for naps. He naps great during the day, (2) two hour naps a day. He won't take a pacifier anymore either. He used to take a bottle and pacifier great, but suddenly gets really angry when I try to offer both to him.
Thanks for your help.
I totally agree with this! In the beginning as soon as DS would make the tiniest cry I was up getting a bottle ready for him, I've learned that if I give him 10 minutes he often will randomly wake up, whimper/cry for a few minutes but go right back to sleep. I cant see what he is doing since he is in his room but I sometimes wonder if he is even awake when crying or if he just is dreaming or something. I would guess he is asleep and just crying a little and then gets over it.
He does a full feeding at 6, but I do think he is comfort nursing the rest of the time. I have no idea how much he's getting because I haven't pumped in a few weeks, but I do think he's getting a lot because I have always had a huge supply.
Some books I have read suggest trying to push back feedings at night, or trying to feed less each time. If I try to stop nursing him, he gets SO mad. He'll scream again until I let him continue.
I didn't even think about the reflux being part of the issue. He was diagnosed with reflux at 1.5 months, but we stopped giving him the meds per the pedi around 2.5 months. I think you're on to something, because that's about the time this started up again.
Thanks for helping!
I guess I haven't let him cry for more than a couple of minutes, so I'm not sure if he's really awake. I think it's worth trying to wait it out a little longer to see if he would put himself back to sleep before feeding him.
R likes to eat at night.She was getting better and then right around 3 mos, started eating more at night. We're going to try ferber when she's healthy again, but mostly she eats really well at night. she usually eats and goes right back to sleep. I can even lay her down awake and she'll fall back asleep.So, it seems to me she's obviously hungry. She's on a good schedule of eating every 3 hours when she's at day care, but she really likes to nurse when she's around me.
As for a pacifier, try the natursutten ones. Search amazon for them and there are basically two different ones.They are all the big round rubber ones and one style is orthodontic and the other is rounded (close to a nipple). They say kids like the softness and the big round part because it's similar to the breast. R has the orthodontic ones and loves it. I will say you have to replace them often, like every 4 weeks if he uses them a lot because they get sticky and gross.
Maybe I can try to swaddle again. I think he'll definitely fight it, but it's worth trying. He loves sucking on his hands/fingers, but he doesn't do it for comfort. Meaning- when he's sucking on them, it never puts him to sleep, it usually does the opposite because he's so into sucking on them! I'm going to try the miracle blanket again tonight and see what happens.
Please don't let him CIO at this age.
Do you put him on his tummy at naptime? If so, does he like sleeping like that better? If you are comfortable with doing this at night, it may be worth a try.
Do you have white noise in the room? Katelyn has a humidifer and purifier going and also likes her glowing seahorse.
Does he use a paci? If so, does he wake up when it falls out at night?
I am sorry you are so sleep deprived, It is such an awful feeling.
To be honest, at this point, I hope it only lasts a few months. It feels like it will never end! I don't know how he will go from waking up every 2 hours, to sleeping through the night. It makes me feel better knowing you went through it and it did get better, though!
Also, try swaddling below the arms. R has never liked having her arms in there, but she didn't mind having her bottom half swaddled.
I also plan to try to Ferber, hopefully around 6 months. Thank you so much for the paci recommendation! I will definitely give those a try. I have really only tried the soothie and nuk brands.
DH had to be the one to go in to DD's room in order for her to go back to sleep without nursing. You still might have to go in for some feedings, but usually I would make DH go in first to test the waters and if she just got more distraught, then I knew she was actually hungry.
DD didn't STTN until she was 11 months old and was still waking up for 1-2 feedings a night until that point.
For naps, he will only nap in the swing. Something we also need to try to kick! I blame myself for creating some bad habits for him, and now I'm dealing with the consequences. I could definitely try putting him on his tummy at night. He is not a fan of tummy time, but maybe if he's tired enough, that will help him fall asleep. We also use white noise and a humidifier, but he won't take the paci. I'm going to try another brand, maybe that would help.
DS still sleeps in our room, but I am trying to get him into his crib. It's been tough, because he thinks of his crib as somewhere to play. My fault, because I always put him in there to look at his mobile and fisher price jungle light up thing. I do think that having him in his own room might help, and it's a great idea to have DH go in there first. Hopefully we can get him into his crib soon and try that.
I have a cousin who had the same EXACT situation with her DD and her peds told her to try CIO for a week or so to see if she truely is hungry... or if DD was just getting used to the night time situation... Feeding every 2 hours only sleeping with the parents, etc.
CIO worked...
ETA: Yes, every baby is different... but based off the information that Emily has also shared with me, which is not something she always shares with the board... she is going to have to sleep train at some point...
In my opinion, it seems early to be doing that.
Coming from someone who's DD slept terribly, here's my thoughts. Reflux is a HUGE thing. I think DD had more problems with it than we realized, and now looking back I should have been more insistent to get on stronger meds and make sure your pedi is adjusting the dose when your LO gains weight. A lot of her sleep problems I think stemmed from that.
Definitely DO NOT CIO! Way too early.
Swaddling, keeping your LO raised at night rather than sleeping flat, and definitely try letting your LO stir a bit and see if he'll go back to sleep without you, but not CIO. I too responded to every.single.cry and I think I partially trained DD to need me to go back to sleep. I wish I'd know about the Fisher Price RNP, I think it would have been DD's happy place to sleep.
DD is also just not a sleeper. At your LO's age we were up every 2hrs or more, with a 3 hr waking/screaming period between midnight at 5am. Every child is different. At 18 mo. after tons of sleep training DD is still up 2-4 times a night, it's just who she is (I blame my husband who is nocturnal). Try to remember it's also just a phase and it WILL get better.
GL! I hope you all get some more rest soon!
ETA: Try different white noise too...we randomly found that the hair dryer was the only white noise that soothed DD, so I downloaded an iTunes "song" of a hair dryer that was an hour long, lol. Worth all of the $10 I paid for it!
By the way, he has now been napping for over 2 hours, I also need to learn how to take advantage of his naptime to get some sleep myself! I am always anxious that he will wake up at any moment, so I don't let myself sleep during the day.
I should add my cousin's DD was 4 months...
ETA: Also, I think you might have something there with the reflux... did you ever buy the rockNplay? I cant remember if you did or not... if you want you can borrow ours for a few days to see if that would work for you? Call Dr. A and talk to her about it... I bet she will help you through it as well...
I agree with pp's - don't worry (or blame yourself) about creating bad sleeping habits for M. IMO, nothing is done that can't be undone, later, when the child is a bit older and better capable (physically) of STTN. We are following the exact same path with W as we did with J. While it is true that every child is different, you know how well J sleeps; and he was a miserable, awful, terrible sleeper until 6-7 months...just like W is now. Perhaps it is something as *simple* as re-introducing the reflux medication; however, developmentally, a few additional things to consider:
4 month wakeful period - https://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/4mo-sleep.html
teething (which can be in full effect, even if you can't actually see any teeth through the gums)
To each their own, but I am also in the "anti sleep training" camp until, at least, 6 months (perhaps even later for EBF babies).
Thank you so much for this link. I feel like I have a new perspective and I kind of feel less worried about the whole thing.
This really stuck out to me:
"Please don't deny that your breastfeeding baby is quite possibly very hungry at night at four months, even though they may have been sleeping through the night prior to this. Look at the feed -- can you hear swallowing? Does your breast get softer? Is he EATING? Then don't make him cry it out! He needs to eat....and he needs his mommy."
Thanks everyone for your advice and experience. It helps so much to hear that I'm not the only one going through this and that it's normal and WILL get better. I feel much better about things.